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Neighbours keep being noisy late at night - AIBU

(78 Posts)
CowgirlBride Fri 05-Jun-20 23:51:56

The property next door to us was recently rented by a young couple (early to mid twenties) Prior to that it has been vacant since we bought our house in September. (In fact it was on the market at the same time as our one was) We met them when they were moving their stuff in so they know we have a baby.
10 days ago was the first night they slept there and they woke DS (7 months) up at midnight by clattering around in their shed which is practically below his window.
The next night they were again being noisy and woke the baby and DH went over at 11pm and asked them (politely) to keep the noise down. Turns out they were assembling some bunk beds. hmm
The houses basically mirror each other so all the bedrooms back onto each other and the sound carries.
A few days after that they clunking around again late but luckily didn't wake the baby. And again tonight there's been banging and now DS is seriously wiggling.
DS is normally a really good sleeper but two weeks ago I had to get him up late at night as DH had cut his finger badly and I drove him to A&E. DS then got into a bad sleep pattern which I was trying hard to overcome but when the neighbours banged in the shed, it just cemented the problem. Once DS is up he thinks he's been to sleep all night and is then up and unsettled for hours. And he was doing this every night.
DS has JUST about got settled into a sensible sleep pattern again and I really don't want to undo everything I've worked so hard for.
I understand that having moved in recently they will have things to do, and I would never expect them to be quiet during the day, even if it was during DS nap time as obviously his schedule is nothing to do with them. But I think late at night is a different matter. DH also works in care so has really early starts, so it's not fair on him either.
AIBU to think I shouldn't have to keep reminding the neighbours to keep the noise down?

OP’s posts: |
BackforGood Sat 06-Jun-20 00:11:50

I suspect if you have a small baby, you will also be disturbing them, when they are asleep.
It's the luck of living in a flat / terrace / semi (which of course most of us do).
If they are playing loud music / having wild parties, then I think you have a right to complain, but when they are just going about things they need to do in their lives, I think it is their right to do that just as much as your dh getting up early and going out is no doubt heard by them on days when they don't need to be awake early.

Absolutely, take the opportunity to get to know your neighbours, always, and be friendly, and then you (as in 'one', or 'any of us') can mention nicely that it would be really helpful if they tried to keep the noise don for a week whilst you re-settle your baby, or when someone is on a different shift or whatever. But no-one has the right to demand their neighbours change their lives to fit in with their hours.

Haretodaygonetomorrow Sat 06-Jun-20 00:22:06

It sounds like a temporary situation while they get their new home set up. It would be better to show some patience now rather than end up in a full blown neighbour dispute. I’m surprised you’ve been round on the second night you heard them really.

Your baby and H getting up for work may well disturb them during the night too.

Josette77 Sat 06-Jun-20 00:25:15

I think you need to be patient. Get a white noise machine if needed.

CountessFrog Sat 06-Jun-20 00:27:45

People are so inconsiderate. Our house backs onto a pair of semis. One has teenage children, one has an 18 month old. The one with the teenagers routinely does DIY late into the evening. Tonight they were using power tools to cut patio slabs after 9pm.

It doesn’t affect me (my kids are older) but I’m annoyed at their selfishness.

OTOH, the couple with the toddler have clearly gone away for the weekend. So I think they are selfish and stupid as each other

Thepigeonsarecoming Sat 06-Jun-20 00:33:31

Sounds like if they’ve just moved in they’re just spending time getting the house set up. If they’re young they may be over enthusiastic with it if it’s their first home. Plus with lockdown not much else to do!

I’m sure they’ll feel the same at times if the walls are thin and you have a young child!

You’ve been lucky to have no neighbours for a while, but I expect anyone else who moved in would be as bad or worse

CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 00:40:14

We have a white noise machine and DS will sleep through most low level noise (vacuum, mower, toilet flushing) but bangs and clanks will disturb him, as they would most of us.
I doubt my husband disturbs the neighbours as he is very considerate and rarely wakes me and DS up if we are asleep - and we are the house with him!
Yes agreed the baby disturbing could wake them but I am always mindful to never let him cry for prolonged periods and will go straight to him if he is distressed.
I absolutely understand that they will have things to do and I really don't want to be at loggerheads with them. I was hesitant to say anything on the second night by DH said he was going to as it seriously sounded like they were dropping pipes continuously (I assume the bunk bed frame was metal)
I also thought it was a temporary problem so was willing to give them the benefit of the doubt but they're still doing it 10 days in. 10 days after we moved in here we certainly weren't clunking furniture etc about but admittedly I don't know their circumstances. Like I said, if they want to assemble bunk beds (for example) I feel that during the day would be more appropriate.

OP’s posts: |
DocusDiplo Sat 06-Jun-20 00:41:57

Yabu.

CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 00:46:02

@BackforGood of course no one had the right to ask that, but I'm not asking that. Most normal people, whether they had a child or not, would not want their neighbours noisily assembling furniture at 11pm!

OP’s posts: |
crimsonlake Sat 06-Jun-20 00:46:14

Another one who is shocked that your dh went around to complain on their second night in their home, not a good start and not very welcoming. If they are working all ay possibly the evening is the only time they can do these jobs.
You may have a baby, but the world does not stop for others, I remember being that age and did not think beyond myself really.
Try and keep on good terms with them.

CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 00:50:28

@crimsonlake fwiw DH was very polite and diplomatic and they weren't offended at all - they admitted they didn't know what the time was. I agree that they might only have the evening, but I consider 10/11pm to be nighttime not evening, a time when most people would want calm and quiet.

OP’s posts: |
strugglingwithdeciding Sat 06-Jun-20 00:56:10

You complained after night 2 , they aren't breaking any laws and I would certainly give them a couple of weeks to settle in before mentioning anything
They may hear baby crying IN night or you getting up and certainly as your baby gets older they will hear noise from your side more often ,will you be happy they come and knock on the door then
When I read the title I thought you were going g to say they were having party's every night

Mintjulia Sat 06-Jun-20 00:59:40

Op, yanbu. They should stop anything excessively noisy by 10pm. Just be patient and keep reminding them of the time.

WhitbyGoth Sat 06-Jun-20 01:00:03

The world does not revolve around your baby OP, Yabu.

CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 01:03:19

@WhitbyGoth I never said it did and I'd never say anything if it disturbed a daytime nap. But like I keep saying, most people would want quiet after 10pm.

OP’s posts: |
CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 01:06:41

@strugglingwithdeciding yes they may hear the baby crying, but never continuously for an hour! If they heard that they'd have every right to come and complain. Like I said, I am mindful to do everything I can so that the baby doesn't disturb them, I'm only asking for the same consideration in return.

OP’s posts: |
maybelou Sat 06-Jun-20 01:17:43

Can't believe people are telling you you're being unreasonable!! Of course it's completely unreasonable to make loud noise until 11pm!! Especially so many days in a row, they need to get themselves sorted earlier in the day/evening, I'd be so annoyed if this was my neighbour.

YANBU OP but unfortunately I think that to avoid causing a disagreement with people who could be your neighbours for a long time you're just going to have to put up with it for now - hopefully it won't take them much longer to get all their furniture assembled.

MsAwesomeDragon Sat 06-Jun-20 01:29:24

I feel your pain. One of my neighbours has just had a shouting match with his wife and claimed he was going to his dad's, but of course he isn't, he's just sitting in his car revving the engine very loudly to make his point (not sure what point he's making, she said "see us then! I'm ringing your dad now to make sure he's expecting you! Don't come back!"). It's after 1am!!!

Any babies in the street will be wide awake! I don't have a baby, but my next door neighbours do. So now I'm awake listening to loud car revving from outside and a baby crying that I can't comfort from the house next door (I'm sure they're comforting him, but all I can hear is the crying)

thenamesarealltaken Sat 06-Jun-20 01:35:40

You're not being unreasonable. But babies' sleep routines can change at various stages - teething, growth spurts, changes to routine in general, dietary changes, etc., could all impact sleep patterns and routines. So, let him get used to noise - put music on. I used to play a nursery rhyme CD to my children. Hopefully the neighbours will settle down soon with all their DIY done.

CowgirlBride Sat 06-Jun-20 01:38:47

@MsAwesomeDragon thank you for that. Seriously. I've just got back into bed cos the noise DID disturb the baby (fingers crossed he stays asleep!) and I couldn't help but think that at least mine aren't as bad as yours! Your neighbour sounds like a right arse, hopefully he drives away soon (off a cliff hopefully!) And the baby settles so everyone can get back to sleep!

OP’s posts: |
Musicforsmorks Sat 06-Jun-20 01:39:32

I don’t care if you complained, I seriously doubt anyone in their right minds would start banging and building shit after midnight if they were good neighbours.
Come on!
Who the fuck does that?

I’ve recently moved into a new place and I would rather die than go out to the shed at midnight and begin clattering about.
Even if they work unsociable hours, ,most people,know that midnight is a fucking horrendous time to do loud work. It’s total bullshit.

SoloMummy Sat 06-Jun-20 07:10:27

I think you risk sounding like the neighbours from hell.

Not everyone has the ability if working etc to build the key furniture in the day, if working etc.

And tbh, it's none of your business when they do it.

If it's literally just 11pm,and you're complaining, without this being an ongoing consistent unsociable noise I think yabu.

You've a 7 month old. They're noisy. Their sleep patterns change. You cannot pin all of that on the neighbours!

Give them time.

If their noise was unsociable partying and music, that is very different...

amillionnamechangeslater000 Sat 06-Jun-20 07:27:01

We met them when they were moving their stuff in so they know we have a baby.

Seriously? Do you think they gave your baby’s sleep patterns a thought?

Unless they are drilling etc you’re being completely unreasonable. I gather what’s actually the case is that you had got used to the property being vacant. Sadly noise carries in this type of property. You’ll probably also hear them running up and down stairs etc. Equally they will hear your baby crying. That’s modern living I’m afraid.

CourtneyLurve Sat 06-Jun-20 07:36:03

YANBU. Making that kind of noise in the evening, especially when you know your neighbours have small kids, is selfish as fuck. It's the same as letting your kids out at 6 AM to screech and squeal in the garden.

heartsonacake Sat 06-Jun-20 07:48:43

YABU. They’re not having raves or loud BBQs until early morning, of which yes you would be right to complain.

They’re going about their normal life. If you buy a house in such close quarters to another, you have to go with a bit of give and take, and they will be taking a lot from your screaming baby, particularly as it grows up into the terrible twos.

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