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AIBU?

I feel my husband is making us fools

280 replies

Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 13:59

We engaged a company with good reviews to move our hot tub from one property to another. The distance is approx 100 miles.

We were quoted £600. Having had a hot tub moved in the past, this was the maximum I wanted to pay for this distance but asked if this was inclusive of VAT. We were told it was, all good.

The agreement was to meet (socially distanced) at one property at 9am for load and then the company had another job to do somewhere on the way, so the plan was to message or call and give a guide as to when they would be arriving at the other end and we would get there to ensure access is available for drop off.

My husband goes to the property as planned at 9am. The company did not arrive until nearer 10am.
I get a message from my husband to say it has been loaded on to the truck and that they will be taking it back to theirs (not sure if it’s a lock up or home) and bringing it to destination property on Monday.
They will wash it over the weekend and do the service on Monday at the house.

I’m fuming!
Here is my side: I feel that my husband has just allowed a company to drive away with our property and they could do anything over the weekend such as create jobs/repairs that they will come across when servicing it on Monday.
He has allowed this as the guy is running late (not my problem he has been more than one job for the day in the diary and arrived late) and it will make it easier on everyone.
The guy has offered no discount for moving the goal posts. I am quite happy to wash my own hot tub over the weekend and can accept he may run later but want my hot tub to be delivered on the same day as planned.
I then find out he is not charging VAT. I didn’t want a cash job, again this guy is manipulating the situation to suit his agenda at no cost to him.

This is just not what was agreed and I’m not happy.

My husband thinks I’m too cynical and need to trust people.
I think he is being foolish.
Who do you think is BU?
I’m also annoyed that he did not call to discuss whether I agreed with this change.

(The hot tub cost £15k when new. Please don’t take that wrong, it is just factual information as to what they have in their care over the weekend).

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LynetteScavo · 05/06/2020 14:03

It depends how big a problem being at the other property on Monday rather than today is.

If it's not a problem, you need to calm down. Your DH spoke to the people and agreed this. I don't think you trust your DH. Does he have past experience of being a fool? My DH doesn't, so I'd happily go along with it.

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Dyrne · 05/06/2020 14:07

Does it really actually matter in the grand scheme of things? Is there something that makes you desperately need the tub over the weekend?

If not, do you often berate your husband for making a slightly different decision to you but which ultimately has no real consequence?

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Random63638 · 05/06/2020 14:11

A company doesn't have to charge VAT if they don't meet the threshold, so it might not be a cash job, just that it's a small business? You seem to have imagined the worst case, maybe relax a little if you can and wait and see the outcome. There's being prepared and then just worrying over nothing. I think you're verging on the latter.

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BacklashStarts · 05/06/2020 14:12

I think you’ve blown this all out of proportion

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BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 05/06/2020 14:14

So the agreement was a pick up and a drop off at the new property on the same day? And they have now said it will be 3 days before drop off?

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thepeopleversuswork · 05/06/2020 14:15

Unless you specifically need it there before Monday and had communicated this to them I can’t see the problem really. Not sure what was agreed in terms of the sequencing of the work.

Otherwise and unless there’s some traumatic back story to be honest it sounds quite a petty thing to be “fuming” about in the scheme of things.

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TheHighestSardine · 05/06/2020 14:15

Came on to type what Dyrne already did.

You are being unreasonable. You are also being unnecessarily unpleasant and condescending to and about DH. Controlling.

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frazzledasarock · 05/06/2020 14:18

If it's a small company they may not meet the threshold to have to charge VAT.
Doesn't mean it's dishonest or a cash in hand job. Presumably you will pay on invoice and have the option to pay by bank transfer or credit card or similar?

I do think this is unreasonable of you, your husband was being nice and the chap offered to clean the tub before dropping it off.

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Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 14:19

The goal posts were moved at the point of pick up, not before in case that is causing confusion.
I was expecting to meet at the other end and told it’s not happening. I have no idea where it will be stored over the weekend.
I have no idea if they will potential create issues with it over the weekend ready to give us “oh we have found this problem” when servicing on Monday.

I only trust companies and tradespeople to a point.

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Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 14:22

Interesting that people feel I’m unreasonable. I can respect that.

The company does meet the VAT threshold. We were told it was inclusive of VAT yesterday.

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thepeopleversuswork · 05/06/2020 14:27

Seems quite a paranoid approach to assume that any “tradesperson” is looking to stiff you at every turn and slap on extra charges. Must be quite stressful going through life with this level of mistrust - how do you deal with big transactions?

It’s not perfect customer service but if you had so desperately needed it by Friday you should have set an explicit deadline before agreeing to it. Did you? If not YABU.

I honestly think you need to chill out.

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Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 14:28

Yes BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz

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Dyrne · 05/06/2020 14:30

It sounds like you look down your nose at tradespeople - you feel like everyone is below you actually if your attitude towards your husband is like what’s coming across here.

You either trust a person to do a job or you don’t - I wouldn’t pay someone to do a job if I thought they were going to screw me over. And in any case, your husband made the decision here. If he’d said “no we need it delivered today” then the bloke would have probably got on with it.

Decision made, not quite what you would have done perhaps but if you don’t desperately need the hot tub this weekend then just let it go.

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Howyiz · 05/06/2020 14:30

I would expect a discount if delivery has changed from same day to 3 days later. That is standard practice for most online orders, you pay more for prompt delivery. So they are in effect, charging you more for the lesser service.
Ring the company yourself, tell them that you want it delivered today.

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Wecandothis99 · 05/06/2020 14:31

lol, they're having a right weekend planned with it

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SVRT19674 · 05/06/2020 14:31

YABU. If your husband has met the tradesman has taken a mental risk assessment and has decided he is trustworthy and don't understand what the problem is. Unless you consider that your husband is an idiot with no credible criteria...Chill and look forward to enjoying your bathtub as of Monday.

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viques · 05/06/2020 14:32

If you think they are fiddling their vat then don't pay cash. Do a bank transfer to a company account or write a cheque. Ask for a receipt. Won't stop them fiddling, but makes it harder.

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TooGood2BeTrue · 05/06/2020 14:33

Do not accept cash in hand; if you do, you lose your rights for repairs / replacement, if the company has done a bad job.

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EmperorCovidula · 05/06/2020 14:34

It’s just a hottub. It’s not worth getting so worked up over. Leave it until Monday and if they do ‘find a problem’ then you can get cross over if then rather than ruining your weekend thinking about it now when nothing has actually happened.

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viques · 05/06/2020 14:34

howyiz I'll bring the baby oil and fairy lights if you bring the prosecco and Barry White cd.

Grin

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TheLashKingOfScotland · 05/06/2020 14:35

I'd be annoyed tbh especially if your DH didn't get a sign-off sheet to confirm the condition of the hot tub when they lifted it. Presumably they need different insurance for storing rather than just transporting too.
But it seems you and your DH have a very different approach. If that's the case then you either need to meet tradespeople or you need to step back and let DH manage it how he wants to. Both of you being involved when you have such different views is just going to lead to arguments.

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viques · 05/06/2020 14:36

Sorry, that message was for wecandothis99 Blush, but howyiz you are very welcome to pop along if you're in the mood.?....

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Wouldyoudoit2 · 05/06/2020 14:37

frazzledasarock it was agreed that pick up and drop off would be the same day.

We discussed with each other what we wanted, then discussed with the company. They agreed and now it isn’t happening. I have no idea where it is, how it is being stored etc.

If something happened, would my insurance cover it? Unlikely. It would be down to theirs. Would their insurance cover it if it’s at a residential property? I have no idea but these are the things I think about because in the event of a problem occurring. I would be asked, why did you not ask? It is practical due diligence to me.

Right now my property has been collected and I have no idea where it is and told I will get it on Monday.

It’s seems you all disagree with me to feel concerned and annoyed my husband blindly agreed without even a discussion with me. I feel this is something I would have a quick 5 minute call with him to check how he felt about the new arrangement.
Some feel that is controlling.

We buy things 50/50 and make decisions together.

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thepeopleversuswork · 05/06/2020 14:39

Sorry OP. I Technically you’re probably right.

I just think at the moment life is too short to get upset about trivia like this.

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TooGood2BeTrue · 05/06/2020 14:39

I don't think you're BU at all by the way. If I had a 15k hot tub, I'd be worried too that the company might just disappear with it, given the fact that they've not stuck to the original delivery date. If I were you I would give them until Monday before cancelling the contract and asking them to put the hot tub back into property one.

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