Will he come back?

[SissyLongStockings]

I met a guy last year and we started dating. Things moved fairly quickly for both of us and we moved in together. He has two DC from a previous marriage who have struggled with there parents not being together. So shortly after moving in with him he ended it with me telling me he has to focus on his children. I completley understand but is this a case of him just not being in love with me anymore? He says maybe when his kids are more settled we will get back together but I feel if he really loved me its something we could have dealt with together? Im am heartbroken and struggerling to get over him.

[Sparklesocks]

Never say never of course but I’m afraid it does sound like he perhaps wasn’t keen enough to make it work. It might just be timing and the fact he needs to focus on his children means he genuinely doesn’t have the space for anything/anyone else, but I also believe you’re right and generally people try to make it work if they really wanted to save the relationship.

Or maybe you moved a bit too quickly and it burned too brightly too soon.

Either way, it’s best you try and move on and don’t torture yourself wondering if you will get back together. I know that’s easier said than done, but you can’t put your life on hold hoping he comes back.

[SissyLongStockings]

I dont understand it. He wanted us to be together so much and now its just gone. I cant get my head round it. There were things going on for me as well and there was a lot of pressure from both sides but I didnt throw in the towel. I am doing my best to get over this but im really struggerling.

[SandyY2K]

You moved in with him too soon. Just met last year on holiday and then you're in their space.

If it's meant to be, it will be...but depending on your age a man without kids will be easier for a relationship.

[1forAll74]

He has now realised that it's best to just concentrate on his children, which is a good point. He may well think. that having a new woman in his children's life, is not going to work right now, as the children have seemingly had a few problems already. You will surely come to terms with this at some point,and be less upset.

[glasgow357]

Did you've in with him? Or him with you? Only asking because I spent two bastarding hours on the phone to the council today sitting out council tax 😬

[longtimecomin]

You moved in together too quickly, men like the thrill of the chase, you gave him everything too soon so there's nothing left for him to earn and he's bored. Just dump him and take your next relationship slower.

[Matylda]

First, I understand your upset, and don't want to be rude; however, for a minute I thought your story all seems too familiar. Just in my case, I was the wife (apparently ex..., not true at that time) who was left heartbreaken. My husband left me and kids suddenly 11 months ago and started relationship with a woman who I used to work with. Like in your case they have very intense relationship. Unfortunately our children were left speachless last July. It took enourmous toll on them. My ex has seen them maybe 10 times since than... And they live 5 min drive from me... Both my kids (9,12)are on a verge of needing professional help. So what I am saying to you is, please don’t believe men saying that they have split from wife. They lie. Maybe in your case he realised that the grass wasn't greener on the other side. Anyway how sad it sounds, I think you should put it behind you. He is not a responsible man, you want to waste your life on. Hope you can see it. He has given you hopes and then just left. Don't hang out waiting for him until the time is better. I never will go back to my (still) husband...

[KatherineJaneway]

Sounds as if he didn't like being alone so entered a relationship far too soon than his kids were ready for. They were struggling so he had to make a choice, them or you and he chose them.

Sorry but I don't think he will be back. He needs to concentrate on his kids and that takes time.

[FlowerArranger]

You moved in together too quickly and your comment that There were things going on for me as well and there was a lot of pressure from both sides suggests that this relationship was way too turbulent to last. You didn't throw in the towel because you had built up an idealised picture in your mind, whereas he could see that this wasn't going anywhere.

To answer your question: no, he probably won't come back. In any event, suspending your life while you wait for a man who may or may not at some point decide to be with you is no way to live. Read Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood - it'll help you get over this man and be less overinvested next time.