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Would it put you off a man if he spoke in detail about exes looks?

(106 Posts)
SunshineOverStress Thu 04-Jun-20 22:47:51

For instance if during a general conversation they randomly mentioned how good looking past conquests were, perfect body big boobs big bum completely flat stomach model type, stunning etc without asking them? Like going into extensive detail about their looks when you haven’t asked them what they look like or anything in regards to their looks? This has happened more than once by the way...

Wondering if I’m being sensitive to finding it off-putting and thinking why is he telling me this? Is it because of his own insecurities And to big himself up or to make me feel insecure/jealous?
Turn off or am I being unreasonable?

OP’s posts: |
WomanIsTaken Thu 04-Jun-20 22:51:38

Urgh. Nope, you're not being sensitive.
He is being insensitive.
And tone-deaf. And won't change.
You deserve so much more x x

beachmist Thu 04-Jun-20 22:52:34

You're not being unreasonable at all. thanks

Will0wtree Thu 04-Jun-20 22:53:00

a. Why are they telling you, massively insensitive.
b. Why are they telling you, some sort of hidden agenda
c. They sound really shallow.

conduitoffortune Thu 04-Jun-20 22:54:03

I would be off the starting blocks like a whippet

UnfinishedSymphon Thu 04-Jun-20 22:54:17

How does that even come up in conversation???

MegaClutterSlut Thu 04-Jun-20 22:54:42

Yanbu, it might be a bit of both but its a massive turn off

FadedRed Thu 04-Jun-20 22:55:40

He’s telling you that you should be grateful that he is lowering his usual ‘standards‘ by being with you. He is not a nice man.

NothingIsGoing2GetBetterItsNot Thu 04-Jun-20 22:56:05

100% yes. I don't think I'd even be friends with someone so shallow and oblivious let asking date one! 😂 And if I did it would only be the once .. ditch!

How embarrassing for him. 🤦🏻‍♀️

Sparklfairy Thu 04-Jun-20 22:57:00

He's drawing comparisons to make you feel insecure. They're obviously exes for a reason. Either he was an arsehole (likely) or other things were missing that looks alone weren't enough for a good relationship.

I had an ex that bragged about the "stunners" he'd had before me. Interestingly he hasn't managed to get a girlfriend (stunning or otherwise) since I left him five years ago so I now doubt it ever happened. I would take his stories with a pinch of salt.

Igtg Thu 04-Jun-20 22:57:28

So why isn’t he with any of them now?

TheMandalorian Thu 04-Jun-20 22:57:41

Yes it would put me off. Can only think of negative reasons why he would even mention it once.
I would feel free to start talking about how fit your exes were, even if you made it up.

Thurmanmurman Thu 04-Jun-20 22:59:40

YANBU. It'd be a big custard pie in the face from me.

SunshineOverStress Thu 04-Jun-20 23:03:57

The thing is, without being shallow and vain myself, I would be considered a very attractive woman myself, and this sounds awful to say but I would be classed as objectively much better looking than him.

So I’m wondering if it’s to make me feel like he regularly pulls very attractive women (which is Irrelevant as looks is not all someone has to offer!) in order to not feel too good for him (not that I would) and to kind of put me in my place a bit and to try make me feel not that special?

I pulled him up on it today and he was like ohh sorry I’ve offended you are you getting jealous? I said no I just find it off putting as I don’t see why I need to know this. He said if it was reverse he would find it a compliment that I find him good looking enough to see him seeing as I’ve dated good looking men previously then he must be attractive and mentioned that I’ve never actually told him that I find him good looking. Fishing for compliments too maybe?

OP’s posts: |
Yellowcakestand Thu 04-Jun-20 23:07:58

Not from Bristol is he?
I was chatting to someone who decided to tell me the mother of his child is a model in another country.

Thanks then!

MulticolourMophead Thu 04-Jun-20 23:10:07

OP, your last post suggests to me that he is indeed sort of negging you, and that it's about making you think you should be grateful he's dating you seeing as his exes were so good looking.

Sarahlou63 Thu 04-Jun-20 23:10:52

Well done on pulling him up OP.

IMHO (being an oldie!) I don't see the threat in discussing the physical elements of former partners. So what if he/she was gorgeous? Looks are only one element of what makes a person who they are, and if the inside isn't as attractive as the outside then the wrapping is irrelevant.

Igtg Thu 04-Jun-20 23:13:26

What do you see in him?

TheVamoosh Thu 04-Jun-20 23:23:22

So I’m wondering if it’s to make me feel like he regularly pulls very attractive women (which is Irrelevant as looks is not all someone has to offer!) in order to not feel too good for him (not that I would) and to kind of put me in my place a bit and to try make me feel not that special?

I think you've figured him out. He sounds massively insecure and like he's trying to pull you down with him. This kind of thing can turn into emotional abuse, in my experience.

blubellsarebells Thu 04-Jun-20 23:23:32

Hes negging you.
Find someone nicer and more intelligent.

HeckyPeck Thu 04-Jun-20 23:25:45

He sounds gross.

lavenderlove Thu 04-Jun-20 23:27:24

Are you much better looking than him by any chance? As this is standard behaviour for losers who know they aren't good enough for you. Making you think they have had better anyway whilst trying to destroy your confidence and make you feel less attractive. Don't waste any more time on him please!

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden Thu 04-Jun-20 23:32:03

Yanbu. I wouldn't want to see him again.

LightDrizzle Thu 04-Jun-20 23:32:51

He sounds very immature.
Dump and move on.

Misnomer Thu 04-Jun-20 23:36:58

I think it sounds like negging as well. Run!

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