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AIBU?

To wonder if there are ways of training yourself to become more thick-skinned?

7 replies

beachmist · 04/06/2020 16:28

I have always been very sensitive but this has become something of an understatement since becoming a Mum at the start of this year. I seem to take everything to heart. My partner is always telling me not to take things so literally, or to stop worrying so much about what others think about me.

I wish it was that easy, and I do agree with him that my life would be a lot easier if I could just shrug those little comments off.

Does anybody else struggle with feeling over-sensitive and overthinking things a lot? If so, do you have any strategies that help you cope with this?

I would love to hear some advice if anybody has any to offer Smile

OP posts:
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araiwa · 04/06/2020 16:33

Friends family and professionally i care

Everyone else. No

Lifes too short to sweat small pointless stuff

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Lockeduporknockedup · 04/06/2020 17:51

I'm pretty thick skinned and I have no idea if it's normal but here's what I do - try to turn absolutely anything into a compliment.
For example, if someone says "I don't really think you tried very hard with this project", I'll tell myself "this person thinks that I'm capable of a very high calibre of work". Or, if someone says "you've gained weight", I'll think "they must think I've been enjoying myself recently or have high confidence. Alternatively, maybe I look healthier or was so skinny before that they think I should've gained weight and now look great". Or "you're a really bad driver" could be "this person really cares about my safety and wants me to take extra precautions so nothing happens to me".
It sounds ridiculous but it really makes you see the world as a positive place haha.

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Auridon4life · 04/06/2020 18:15

Any hints or tips would be welcome everything. My skin is wafer thin at the moment.

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Colom · 04/06/2020 18:16

If you're on instagram follow the holistic psychologist. Sounds a bit woo at first but I've found a lot of it quite valuable.

People's judgements are very often reflections of their own ego and conditioning and most likely nothing to do with you at all. Much like your reactions to comments are a reflection of your conditioning and ego.

It's quite freeing to keep that thought in mind - I'm able to let so many things slide of my back that previously I would have replayed over and over and worried about.

A shift in perspective is all that's needed.

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Cadent · 04/06/2020 18:18

.

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Cam2020 · 04/06/2020 18:42

How do you consider your self esteem in general, OP? I think the only way to become thicker skinned is to be confident in yourself. I was pretty sensitive and took things personally when I was younger but have cared less as I've got older.

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EmeraldShamrock · 04/06/2020 18:43

Age. It comes with years there is some deflecting coping mechanisms you can learn to ignore the nasty comment. You cannot change or control when someone is insensitive but you can change your reaction to it.

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