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neighbours toddler

(15 Posts)
chocandwine91 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:25:14

Hello, I wonder if I could get some advice please. I'm currently living in an upstairs flat and my downstairs neighbours 2 year old child constantly cries and screams. I get woken up every morning at 2/3am and she cries for about an hour or two. Her mother previously would ignore her until I said something about it now she does tend to her but it's usually 'shut up' or she puts on her musical toy (which is loud too) pre-covid I did notice the child was never out and about always kept indoors which I found strange. I had some annual leave & was at home most days & she just sounds like a really unhappy child. Now I'm thinking is this a safeguarding issue. I'd hate to think she's cold, hungry or scared. I don't want to say anything else to the mother as I understand it's probably just as frustrating for her as it is for me but I've chosen not to have a child yet and I'm disrupted by hers. I feel like my only option is to move.

Sargass0 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:31:42

Well if you concerns then report it.

or otherwise yes might want to move

FrankieKnuckles Thu 04-Jun-20 13:33:15

Until I had my own I had no idea how much children could cry. And that that amount of crying doesn't stop when they're no longer a baby.
Mr younger DC has the most ear piercing scream & can cry for quite a long time over something minor (the other week I twisted my ankle running to an awful sounding scream to find he'd stepped barefoot on a small stone)
I've often thought my neighbours must assume I'm torturing them.
So if it's about the noise-yes consider moving. If it's about safeguarding concerns I'd hold back a little. thanks

TheFencePainter Thu 04-Jun-20 13:58:11

I would report if I had concerns. It's not just the noise is it. Let's face it, if people reported when they see something bad or suspicious, many babies would still be alive or unharmed. Better to report than not imo.

VenusTiger Thu 04-Jun-20 14:03:01

She shouted "shut up" at a 2yr old? I'd consider reporting or at least keeping a close 'ear' on the situation OP.

AIMD Thu 04-Jun-20 14:12:39

Please report it. You can call and report anonymously through childline or direct to your local authority social care. Eve good for someone to check on how they are.

Chottie Thu 04-Jun-20 14:17:27

OP - you are concerned enough to post on MN. Please report this today. Look on your local borough website for details of the safeguarding team.

1forAll74 Thu 04-Jun-20 14:22:29

I would not report this, I would probably try and talk to the Mother, and try and help her. You might then get an insight to any problems they have.

chocandwine91 Thu 04-Jun-20 17:21:04

Thank you all for your replies, what would happen if I did report her? Would someone come out and check the child is okay? It would be obvious it was me as she is friends with everyone else and their kids play together

IDontLikeZombies Thu 04-Jun-20 17:57:26

I think if you have concerns you have a duty to report. It's going to be awkward, no two ways about but you have to ask yourself if saving yourself from awkwardness is worth the risk of a child being harmed.

Kittykat93 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:16:10

Yeah, she shouldn't be telling a 2 year old to shut up in my opinion. Toddlers cry a lot sometimes, I have a 2 year old so I'm fully aware of that! However I'd never tell him to shut up and can settle him quite easily with some comfort, especially in the middle of the night. I'd report.

Ohnoherewego62 Thu 04-Jun-20 18:25:40

My toddler has thee most horrific tantrums. They can last from 2-10 minutes or running about screaming, legkicking and slapping and tbh it's a nightmare. I've resorted to firm now's, taking banned item away which can lead to further screaming and crying etc I've also used loud toys and tv as a distraction when things have gotten really difficult.

I do feel bad for the neighbours when these happen but there are some things toddlers aren't allowed to do wink

Is she a single parent? I'm not excusing her but theres maybe a chance she doesnt hear her in the night if shes in a separate room. The crying for an hour does sound bad.

Are you still working or at home more due to vivid to notice it?

AIMD Thu 04-Jun-20 18:27:06

It would depend on the social care assessment of the situation. If they do t hold any information they might not even go and visit, but might request the health visiting team check in with them. If social care do have other information such as previous referrals etc they might do a visit and an assessment.

Casschops Thu 04-Jun-20 18:42:53

It really gets my goat when people say "they'll know it's me". You don't get to opt out if you think a child is neglected or abused the adult is not the priority. The voiceless child IS.

AIMD Thu 04-Jun-20 18:54:40

Casschops I think that may have been in response to my suggestion that she could do it anonymously.

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