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AIBU?

AIBU to not want to go for a social distancing walk with a friend and her children

44 replies

Pombeary1 · 04/06/2020 13:11

Dilemma! My friend, who lives on the road as me suggested to go for a social distancing walk with both our children. I said yes initially as she’s a widow and gets no help and one of her daughter is in the same class as mine. Beside we live in the countryside where you barely see anyone while walking. However, she later told me that she’s sending her daughter ( in year 5) back to school as she’s becoming restless and emotional at home during the lockdown. I understand and sympathies their circumstances. They have had a rough year (the girls dad died unexpectedly 8 months ago) so perhaps being school gives her daughter something to look forward too. Anyway, the girls had a zoom class lesson this morning and my daughter told me that she saw my friends daughter was sitting right next to another girl (close friend)no social distancing whatsoever! That girls mum and dad are working in the hospital and mum is front line! I am not sure if I want to go for a walk with my friend now because her daughter is becoming more at risk at catching Covid 19! AIBU to not going for a walk with them??

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

161 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
84%
You are NOT being unreasonable
16%
NuffSaidSam · 04/06/2020 13:21

YANBU, you don't have to go for a walk if you don't want to.

I do think you're being ridiculously risk averse though. Are you or anyone in your household exceptionally high risk?

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Epigram · 04/06/2020 13:23

Personally I would do this, but if you don't want to that's fine. It's your decision.

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namechangenumber2 · 04/06/2020 13:23

If you don't want to go, don't! However I'm not sure I'd worry about the risk - as long as you keep to a distance and remain outside the risk of catching anything is minimal

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SellFridges · 04/06/2020 13:25

You don’t have to go, but I would recommend using the time doing some reading around risk.

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Dozer · 04/06/2020 13:25

YANBU to decline any invitation for any reason!

Lots of irrelevant info in your post.

Is year 5 even going back anytime soon?

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SellFridges · 04/06/2020 13:26

This episode of More or Less is especially good

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p08dnd81

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InDubiousBattle · 04/06/2020 13:26

Well you can go for a walk with whoever you like but the chances of you getting it from a friends, daughter's, school friend's mum whilst on a socially distanced walk are absolutely miniscule. I mean absolutely rock bottom. I would do it, it sounds like she's had an absolutely horrendous year.

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HugeAckmansWife · 04/06/2020 13:27

Ultimately its your choice but I do think you are being OTT and should go for all the reasons I'm sure you know..risk of outside transmission is v low, chance of your friend having the virus is pretty low. Impact of virus on kids and healthy adults, very low.

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PineappleUpsideDownCake · 04/06/2020 13:27

You dont need to go anywhere you dont want to but I think yoir reasoming is faulty.

If both your children are 2m apart while you have a socially distanced walk even if she was full of the bug you wouldn't get it. Thats the idea of social distancing when you walk...

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zscaler · 04/06/2020 13:27

You can decline any invitation you like for any reason, but you’re being overly concerned about an incredibly minimal risk imo.

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MRex · 04/06/2020 13:28

If you and your DD are keeping distance then you'll be fine, seems like an over-reaction to be honest.

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covidco · 04/06/2020 13:28

Most schools are not making children within the bubble social distance (would be distressing and very difficult). If you maintain social distancing then there is no risk to you.

YANBU to decline an invitation for any reason YABU to think that going on a socially distanced walk will place you or your children at risk.

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Campervan69 · 04/06/2020 13:28

Poor woman. What a terrible situation for her. YABU. The chances of you catching anything on a socially distanced walk out in the fresh air are so small as to be completely irrelevant.

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Di11y · 04/06/2020 13:29

provided the child socially distances on the walk no additional risk. but up to you.

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PineappleUpsideDownCake · 04/06/2020 13:29

Covidco ours is but its yr6.

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Freddiefox · 04/06/2020 13:29

You can do what you like,

I asked my friend to go on a SD walk with the dc’s. She said she didn’t feel the dc’s would be able to SD. She’s now cross that I went with a different friend and I’ve left them out.

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Temple29 · 04/06/2020 13:31

If you’re not totally comfortable then I wouldn’t. I think my concern would be that if the other child doesn’t socially distance in school then maybe she wouldn’t while walking with your child.

I’m pregnant and high risk so I’ve decided not to meet anyone for a walk with DS and it’s caused a lot of people lecturing me about risk and telling me I’m being ridiculous. I think it’s an individual choice.

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Miltonj · 04/06/2020 13:31

Weird that the reason you initially said yes is because she's a window.
Go on the walk if you want, and don't if you don't.

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Freddiefox · 04/06/2020 13:31

That girls mum and dad are working in the hospital and mum is front line!

I think we need to be very careful about how we treat family of people working on the frontline. This is the second thread I’ve was today that has left out children of keyworkers. It’s not nice.

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Juanmorebeer · 04/06/2020 13:33

If you don't want to go for a walk then of course you don't have to, ever.

However OP, are you a very anxious person generally? If so are you getting any help for it because your reaction is really OTT.

I think this opinion as well is quite dangerous in terms of socialisation for children and adults to spread this 'dirty' mentality that some children are more contaminated than others and therefore you need to KEEP AWAY FROM THE LEPER.

It may help you to have a read of some statistics so you can try and realise the actual risks as you seem to be in panic mode currently.

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Juanmorebeer · 04/06/2020 13:34

Also if your neighbour is reaching out and she is a single parent maybe it would be nice of you to offer to go join her in her garden or driveway for a drink and a chat one evening? It must be really hard for her.

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HollysBush · 04/06/2020 13:35

YANU to not WANT to go for a walk but your girls are old enough to keep their distance with your supervision and it could really give your friend a boost. It’s normal to feel a bit anxious. Must have been awful for her to have lost her dh so recently and be stuck at home full of memories.

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Swishswish26 · 04/06/2020 13:35

I would go. The risk of catching it on a socially distanced walk is so negligible. If it was that easy to get Covid then surely we would all have had it by now.

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Euclid · 04/06/2020 13:40

If you maintain social distancing, the walk is no risk. That is the whole point of social distancing.
I too am a widow and it is awful and even worse during this lockdown. It would be good for your friend to have a walk with an adult.

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GetOutOfThereHoggle · 04/06/2020 13:41

I understand your concern and I think it mainly centres on the fact that the kids might not SD. I've been very careful (I still wash down shopping and quarantine post) but I would maybe give it a go for a short walk and explain to your friend that you need to make sure the kids SD. I think at the min there are a lot of judgemental people on both sides of the fence (some friends of mine have been vilified for sending their R kids back to school whilst I have been laughed at for washing down milk bottles). No one is "right" or "wrong"... apart from those who are ridiculing others and making them feel like shit as they find their own way out of lockdown. I'm so sick of the "you're mental" comments I've seen on social media, and on here, it's disgusting.
That aside, speaking as someone who is most definitely tip toeing out of lockdown, I think I would go. Just explain first that you need to SD. Your friend should understand and your kids sound old enough to understand. Make it a short walk, countryside is ideal, and keep an eye on the kids to make sure they SD which will help ease your nerves. I do think the risk is very small and you will probably end up enjoying the company and the walk. Let us know what you decide. Either way YANBU. Everyone has a different situation/thought processes and people should respect that not everyone will want to be doing the same as them as lockdown eases etc xx

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