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AIBU to not want to go for a social distancing walk with a friend and her children

(45 Posts)
Pombeary1 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:11:21

Dilemma! My friend, who lives on the road as me suggested to go for a social distancing walk with both our children. I said yes initially as she’s a widow and gets no help and one of her daughter is in the same class as mine. Beside we live in the countryside where you barely see anyone while walking. However, she later told me that she’s sending her daughter ( in year 5) back to school as she’s becoming restless and emotional at home during the lockdown. I understand and sympathies their circumstances. They have had a rough year (the girls dad died unexpectedly 8 months ago) so perhaps being school gives her daughter something to look forward too. Anyway, the girls had a zoom class lesson this morning and my daughter told me that she saw my friends daughter was sitting right next to another girl (close friend)no social distancing whatsoever! That girls mum and dad are working in the hospital and mum is front line! I am not sure if I want to go for a walk with my friend now because her daughter is becoming more at risk at catching Covid 19! AIBU to not going for a walk with them??

OP’s posts: |
NuffSaidSam Thu 04-Jun-20 13:21:15

YANBU, you don't have to go for a walk if you don't want to.

I do think you're being ridiculously risk averse though. Are you or anyone in your household exceptionally high risk?

Epigram Thu 04-Jun-20 13:23:18

Personally I would do this, but if you don't want to that's fine. It's your decision.

namechangenumber2 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:23:34

If you don't want to go, don't! However I'm not sure I'd worry about the risk - as long as you keep to a distance and remain outside the risk of catching anything is minimal

SellFridges Thu 04-Jun-20 13:25:09

You don’t have to go, but I would recommend using the time doing some reading around risk.

Dozer Thu 04-Jun-20 13:25:20

YANBU to decline any invitation for any reason!

Lots of irrelevant info in your post.

Is year 5 even going back anytime soon?

SellFridges Thu 04-Jun-20 13:26:25

This episode of More or Less is especially good

www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p08dnd81

InDubiousBattle Thu 04-Jun-20 13:26:44

Well you can go for a walk with whoever you like but the chances of you getting it from a friends, daughter's, school friend's mum whilst on a socially distanced walk are absolutely miniscule. I mean absolutely rock bottom. I would do it, it sounds like she's had an absolutely horrendous year.

HugeAckmansWife Thu 04-Jun-20 13:27:02

Ultimately its your choice but I do think you are being OTT and should go for all the reasons I'm sure you know..risk of outside transmission is v low, chance of your friend having the virus is pretty low. Impact of virus on kids and healthy adults, very low.

PineappleUpsideDownCake Thu 04-Jun-20 13:27:28

You dont need to go anywhere you dont want to but I think yoir reasoming is faulty.

If both your children are 2m apart while you have a socially distanced walk even if she was full of the bug you wouldn't get it. Thats the idea of social distancing when you walk...

zscaler Thu 04-Jun-20 13:27:53

You can decline any invitation you like for any reason, but you’re being overly concerned about an incredibly minimal risk imo.

MRex Thu 04-Jun-20 13:28:21

If you and your DD are keeping distance then you'll be fine, seems like an over-reaction to be honest.

covidco Thu 04-Jun-20 13:28:50

Most schools are not making children within the bubble social distance (would be distressing and very difficult). If you maintain social distancing then there is no risk to you.

YANBU to decline an invitation for any reason YABU to think that going on a socially distanced walk will place you or your children at risk.

Campervan69 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:28:52

Poor woman. What a terrible situation for her. YABU. The chances of you catching anything on a socially distanced walk out in the fresh air are so small as to be completely irrelevant.

Di11y Thu 04-Jun-20 13:29:28

provided the child socially distances on the walk no additional risk. but up to you.

PineappleUpsideDownCake Thu 04-Jun-20 13:29:40

Covidco ours is but its yr6.

Freddiefox Thu 04-Jun-20 13:29:50

You can do what you like,

I asked my friend to go on a SD walk with the dc’s. She said she didn’t feel the dc’s would be able to SD. She’s now cross that I went with a different friend and I’ve left them out.

Temple29 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:31:27

If you’re not totally comfortable then I wouldn’t. I think my concern would be that if the other child doesn’t socially distance in school then maybe she wouldn’t while walking with your child.

I’m pregnant and high risk so I’ve decided not to meet anyone for a walk with DS and it’s caused a lot of people lecturing me about risk and telling me I’m being ridiculous. I think it’s an individual choice.

Miltonj Thu 04-Jun-20 13:31:32

Weird that the reason you initially said yes is because she's a window.
Go on the walk if you want, and don't if you don't.

Freddiefox Thu 04-Jun-20 13:31:36

That girls mum and dad are working in the hospital and mum is front line!

I think we need to be very careful about how we treat family of people working on the frontline. This is the second thread I’ve was today that has left out children of keyworkers. It’s not nice.

Juanmorebeer Thu 04-Jun-20 13:33:25

If you don't want to go for a walk then of course you don't have to, ever.

However OP, are you a very anxious person generally? If so are you getting any help for it because your reaction is really OTT.

I think this opinion as well is quite dangerous in terms of socialisation for children and adults to spread this 'dirty' mentality that some children are more contaminated than others and therefore you need to KEEP AWAY FROM THE LEPER.

It may help you to have a read of some statistics so you can try and realise the actual risks as you seem to be in panic mode currently.

Juanmorebeer Thu 04-Jun-20 13:34:11

Also if your neighbour is reaching out and she is a single parent maybe it would be nice of you to offer to go join her in her garden or driveway for a drink and a chat one evening? It must be really hard for her.

HollysBush Thu 04-Jun-20 13:35:08

YANU to not WANT to go for a walk but your girls are old enough to keep their distance with your supervision and it could really give your friend a boost. It’s normal to feel a bit anxious. Must have been awful for her to have lost her dh so recently and be stuck at home full of memories.

Swishswish26 Thu 04-Jun-20 13:35:16

I would go. The risk of catching it on a socially distanced walk is so negligible. If it was that easy to get Covid then surely we would all have had it by now.

Euclid Thu 04-Jun-20 13:40:17

If you maintain social distancing, the walk is no risk. That is the whole point of social distancing.
I too am a widow and it is awful and even worse during this lockdown. It would be good for your friend to have a walk with an adult.

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