Advanced search

Who is BU?

(40 Posts)
DamnYouAutoCabbage Wed 03-Jun-20 20:40:40

Name changed as I don't want this to be linked to my other posts.

My partner had planned to move in for a few months, until his new place is ready. He's continued to work through lockdown. As such, I'd arranged all the logistics for the move for him (I'm self employed and wfh).

Yesterday, we were talking over the move and the subject of store openings came up. His stance was that he doesn't believe in Covid, the usual conspiracy theories came out. I usually love hearing these and debating with him, but this time I was not on board. We argued after I asked he respect my wishes to adhere to government guidelines and that we reach a concensus as to what we felt safe doing, (regardless of his disbelief of the virus), as a family (I have a DS).

He accused me of being 'as bad as the government' and that he will call off the move.

I'm pretty stoic about it. I won't risk my child for anyone, but I am wondering if I'm being OTT?

recycledteenager24 Wed 03-Jun-20 20:44:03

i would not put the safety of my dc over someone like this. the move isn't happening mister, i might even call off the relationship if you can't respect me.

DamnYouAutoCabbage Wed 03-Jun-20 20:45:22

Sorry, not to drip feed. I'm high risk and he is talking about going to the pub and meeting friends. Basically normal life should resume. I do not feel that way at all.

I should have included that in the original post.

SegregateMumBev Wed 03-Jun-20 20:45:37

He doesn’t believe in Covid?

Aquamarine1029 Wed 03-Jun-20 20:47:45

He's trying to dictate what goes on in your home, the risks you should be taking, and the risks to your child? Fuck that and fuck him. You're well rid.

DamnYouAutoCabbage Wed 03-Jun-20 20:48:25

That was exactly how I felt @recycledteenager24.. My DS comes first.

@SegregateMumBev yes.. Exactly! I'm used to the conspiracy theories, but this one just does not hold any weight for me.

AmericanAdventure Wed 03-Jun-20 20:49:06

This shows a glaring gap in your priorities and values. If you were to stay together what else would you find out about each other? Can you tolerate a relationship with someone who bases their opinions on conspiracy?

Travis1 Wed 03-Jun-20 20:49:53

Honestly that would be a deal breaker. Selfish arse

imsooverthisdrama Wed 03-Jun-20 20:52:38

He doesn't believe in Covid ? Honestly I couldn't live with someone that stupid.
That going to the pub well there not open yet and when they do I'll be going .

SimonJT Wed 03-Jun-20 20:54:55

My boyfriend has moved in for lockdown, we didn’t think it would be this long. He has seen one friend who is shielding by talking to him from his first floor balcony. He hasn’t been in close contact with anyone because he isn’t a twat.

ECBC Wed 03-Jun-20 20:57:13

That’s a no brainer - your health (and DS’s) comes first

Marzipancake Wed 03-Jun-20 21:00:28

What exactly don’t you want your partner doing?

Stompythedinosaur Wed 03-Jun-20 21:20:20

You are obviously right.

Quite apart from the lack of respect for you and your dc, I would have found that level of stupidity very unattractive.

AGrownManMadeWager Wed 03-Jun-20 21:21:46

How is he going to the pub?

Ginkypig Wed 03-Jun-20 21:22:13

Think of it as a blessing in disguise. You aren't on your own and he has proven he isn't willing to be in a "family" so that's the end or it would be for me

It's not so much that you disagree but his response to that disagreement and the refusal to act as part of a group if that makes sense.

Living together especially with a child means you behave in the interests of the whole taking in to account the needs of the weakest member (child) even if that means you compromise slightly.

He is not a single man if he is living in the family home and he can't can't behave as such.

On another note though what twat can really be fucking stupid enough to believe covid doesn't exist.

Chewy85 Wed 03-Jun-20 21:25:23

I could never live with someone who shows such a lack of respect, kindness and caring! He also sounds really ignorant and stupid!

Marzipancake Wed 03-Jun-20 21:53:51

The pubs are not open? And if/when they do they apparantly will have social distancing rules in place. So your partner has said when the pub opens he wants to meet his friends, and you disagree?? Well I would not want to live with you, I went out last night for a run with a friend, I sat in the park this week with 3 friends, if a nice bar was open I would sit outside and enjoy a drink with my friends. Ask yourself how long you are going to shut yourself off for, and ask yourself when will it be SAFE to resume your life?

RhodaDendron Wed 03-Jun-20 21:59:06

Ignoring the fact he’s insane, I don’t think I could live with someone for a minute if they couldn’t listen to and respect a reasonable request for compromise.
Wait, don’t ignore the fact he’s insane.

namesnames Wed 03-Jun-20 22:02:05

He is showing lack of respect.

He doesn't believe in covid? Does he believe in being a decent citizen even if he may not agree with the current government, or are his beliefs solely relating to the pandemic?

Is he telling you that no matter what you feel, his beliefs/reasoning will come first?

AlwaysCheddar Wed 03-Jun-20 22:08:29

Call off the move as he’s a dick! He doesn’t care about you and is a Pratt.

jgjgjgjgjg Wed 03-Jun-20 22:09:28

Going to the pub and meeting friends and other activities associated with normal life do not necessarily mean not believing in Covid.

It is entirely possible to believe that the virus exists but to also decide that on balance you are happy with the risks involved in drinking in pubs and other facets of 'normal life'. Sounds like you just have different attitudes and acceptances of levels of risk.

Marzipancake Wed 03-Jun-20 22:10:57

@jgjgjgj thank you, I thought everyone had gone mad!

Cadent Wed 03-Jun-20 22:13:54


Going to the pub and meeting friends and other activities associated with normal life do not necessarily mean not believing in Covid.

I think OP knows his stance on COVID because, you know, he told her he doesn't believe in COVID.

OP says:

"His stance was that he doesn't believe in Covid"

BobbieDraper Wed 03-Jun-20 22:14:46

What do you mean you're uses to the conspiracy theories? Is he like.... an idiot? And what, you find it fun to debate someone who believes in utter nonsense?

You've picked a man who is a paranoid loon, and you're surprised when he wont adhere to guidance for medical reasons?

Why are you even with someone like that? Do you not find him immensely stupid when he starts spouting conspiracy nonsense? I cant even imagine finding that attractive.

Marzipancake Wed 03-Jun-20 22:17:06

Not everyone believes what the government say, it’s fair to say they don’t always speak the truth! And the reasons for the governments instructions may not be as clear cut as they are made out to be. So people should be entitled to question the government and their motives. Or should no one oppose what they are told in newspapers, media?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »