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To be so worried about my friend

(7 Posts)
ShopTattsyrup Wed 03-Jun-20 17:13:15

Hi there, posting here for a wide perspective on this. I'll try and make this as straight forward as possible!

I have an old school friend who lives about 4 hours from me, we would usually meet up 2-3 times a year and also message regularly on WhatsApp.

Our WhatsApp conversation is basically a rolling chat where we might message a couple of times a day, and then pick up where we left off a week later.

Recently she has fallen off the radar and I'm starting to get a bit concerned - mostly that she's not coping in Lockdown and that her head is going west and am not sure what to do or even if I'm being over dramatic and worrying over nothing.

Basic timeline is here for clarity

8/5 - she messages me as normal and asks for my new address for my birthday card.
8/5 - I reply.
She then doesn't reply or look at the message
20/5 - I message again asking how she is and general chit chat
She looks at the message but no reply
She sends me a message saying Happy Birthday on my birthday but no reply to the previous two messages.
1/6 - I ring her, no reply and leave a message
3/6 - I ring her, no reply and leave a message.

She did send me a Birthday card, in which she had written a very emotive message about missing me.

My boyfriend thinks she probably just feels a bit down and that I should leave her to get some space and if she wants to speak to me then she can. My mother on the other hand thinks I should keep trying to make sure she's coping OK.

And thoughts would be much appreciated!

Lockeduporknockedup Wed 03-Jun-20 17:25:40

Send her a card or flowers - Bloom & Wild always have discount codes and are nice. Tell her you miss her without the expectation of a response and she might not feel pressured. It should cheer her up, let her know you care and not place an obligation on her

ShopTattsyrup Wed 03-Jun-20 18:03:24

@Lockeduporknockedup that's a really good shout thank you smile

paperandfireworks Wed 03-Jun-20 18:07:48

I'd give her some space and try again in a few weeks if you haven't heard from her in the meantime.

MrsKin90 Wed 03-Jun-20 19:56:30

I think I'd be more worried if she wasn't reading the messages. If she's not even reading them I'd worry. I agree, send flowers or something nice! It might prompt a message in response. I've been doing survival packs for friends I know are struggling and writing letters to others as writing back gives them something to do and less pressure of finding something to say immediately.
I sent someone a book and asked them to let me know what they think. I'm sending my friend a whole bunch of different kinder chocolate as I know they're her favourite. You can get afternoon teas delivered by lots of companies now too - my mum got one from a far away relative and it really made her day!
Just some ideas for you 😊

Dita73 Wed 03-Jun-20 20:05:05

Does she get depression? When I get a bad bout of it I just don’t want to speak to anyone. Nothing personal at all. I just want to be on my own and don’t have the energy for conversation

ShopTattsyrup Wed 03-Jun-20 20:52:38

@MrsKin90 She hadn't read the messages - not to get all Miss Marple but the date when she last went on WhatsApp and saw my original message tallies with the post mark on my birthday card. She hasn't been online since. I have placed an order with Bloom & Wilde for her so hopefully even if I don't get a response she'll know I'm thinking off her

@Dita73 She had a bit of a rough time about 5 years ago in the last year of her degree, which she was very open about with me at the time. It seemed to have been very much a response to the stress at the time which she struggled. And as far as I'm aware she's been well since ... but of course these are super stressful times!

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