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Is this neighbourly act acceptable?

(89 Posts)
oldmum2020 Tue 02-Jun-20 11:45:14

I have a big dilemma and I need some of your opinions. We have been close friends with our neighbours for the last 15 years, I have wine o'clock every Friday afternoon with Sue and go away every year for a girly holiday. They have right of access through our drive and last Saturday, they employed 2 people to pressure wash it. Problem is that they washed all the crap off their drive onto ours, our house and garden. My windows and car needed washing, my block paving was covered in dirty greasy sludge and my front garden has a 3 inch layer of sand all over it. Needless to say we weren't happy and spent 3 hours cleaning up the best we could. He eventually swept our drive but shouted at me saying it was my fault for listening to his wife who was allegedly going to clean it up. Now this has obviously damaged our relationship and I dont know whether or not to end our friendship. Everyone I have spoken to says what they did was unacceptable but they seem to think its OK. They do have drains on their drive or there is a public footpath at the front which could have been used but they opted for our property. What should I do?

OP’s posts: |
Unshriven Tue 02-Jun-20 11:48:54

You want to ditch friends you know well enough to holiday with because of a messy drive?

You can't just know, normal? confused

Northernparent68 Tue 02-Jun-20 11:51:44

3 inches of sand ? Really ?

Neron Tue 02-Jun-20 11:52:34

It's not the end of the world, annoying yes, but it cleans up. Maybe your neighbour was going to get someone in to clean it, or them but you ploughed ahead like a martyr?
I wouldn't want to lose a long/good friendship like that.

Sparklesocks Tue 02-Jun-20 11:54:23

What happened after they got the mess on your drive, did you knock and say ‘hey guys it looks like the pressure washer has pushed a load of sludge onto our drive’ and they said they’d clean it up? Or did you start cleaning it up without mentioning it?

DamnYouAutoCarrot Tue 02-Jun-20 11:55:05

I couldn't be friends with someone who thought it was om to treat my property like this.

UnfinishedSymphon Tue 02-Jun-20 11:55:12

Very unacceptable what they did but you should have shown them at the time and given them the opportunity to clean it up. Bit late now you've cleaned up as you don't know whether they would have come and done it but their attitude is weird "it was my fault for listening to his wife who was allegedly going to clean it up" - I'm not even sure what this means

Toilenstripes Tue 02-Jun-20 11:57:19

Honestly I would let it go.

oldmum2020 Tue 02-Jun-20 11:59:54

Yes but we cant be that good friends for them to do something like that in the first place.

OP’s posts: |
Sally872 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:01:13

The behaviour is unacceptable. Can only assume they didn't realise the impact on your drive, though they should have apologised and fixed it.

Would never end a friendship over it though. It's annoying not unforgivable.

Neron Tue 02-Jun-20 12:03:32

You are kidding right? Your neighbours didn't physically do this - they probably feel bad the people they employed caused you such an inconvenience. Honestly. You do know it's a messy job and it can be cleaned up?

PolPotNoodle Tue 02-Jun-20 12:04:39

It doesn't sound like they did anything, they employed 2 people who did it. Why not just pop round and go 'hi Sue really sorry but the people that cleaned your drive have covered my property in shit could you call them back to fix it please?'

oldmum2020 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:05:41

The guys pressure washed the sludge onto the soil to make it look like the drive was clear but it covered the plants. Yes, sure the house and garden will clean up but it could have been washed elsewhere and thereby avoided all this

OP’s posts: |
HermanHermit Tue 02-Jun-20 12:07:12

“Big dilemma”??!!

Or- hey friends, the contractor you used left an atrocious mess in our drive. When are they coming back to fix it? You should probably hold off paying them until they’ve done a proper job

How cosseted has your life to date been that this can reach the status of a big dilemma?

EvilPea Tue 02-Jun-20 12:09:11

They had the perfect opportunity to get out of it by blaming the contractors. So it’s not something they’ve done.

Apologise and get it sorted either by calling the contractors back or at the least helping clear it up

Thelnebriati Tue 02-Jun-20 12:09:19

Amazing how many people will defend the ones who treat others like shit, but they rock up to every thread with a well crafted insult.

imsooverthisdrama Tue 02-Jun-20 12:11:48

Why didn't you tell neighbours so they can complain to the people and get your driveway cleaned .?
2 things have happened you've either won't wait and begrudgingly cleaned it yourself but are annoyed at neighbours or it's not as bad as your making out.
If I hired someone to do a job for me which then upset my neighbours I'd complain to the company. I'm not sure why it's your neighbours fault .

Smallsteps88 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:13:03

I would have contacted the pressure washing company tbh. They are the ones who left their business mess all over a property that hadn’t hired them. They should have come back to clean it up. I’d contact their company and complain. If you don’t get a satisfactory response (offer to come and give you a free drive and house wash) then post a review on social media.

TW2013 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:13:17

As you get on well with them I would suggest that next time you liaise together to get someone to do both jobs next year so that you are both customers and then hopefully the contractors will do a better job.

ScarfLadysBag Tue 02-Jun-20 12:13:43

I think if you've been friends for 15 years then you're both being idiots.

Yugi Tue 02-Jun-20 12:15:03

Have I missed something based on all these replies? The neighbour shouted at OP and did not blame the contractors at all.

I wouldn't end a friendship over the initial incident, that's shit but the neighbour should have got the contractor back and made them clear up. I have exactly zero tolerance for people deflecting blame by shouting at me though.

oldmum2020 Tue 02-Jun-20 12:16:34

Sue's husband has to micromanage everything - he sat on the wall watching their every move. He could see the mess they were making and when they left, he could have come round to say they would clean it up. Yes, with hindsight I agree we should have gone round and spoken to them but we were really upset

OP’s posts: |
NotEverythingIsBlackandWhite Tue 02-Jun-20 12:16:39

I would say 'Sue, next time you have your drive power-hosed, can you please ask the workers to hose it in the direction of your drain? It's made quite a mess on our drive and has taken quite a while to clean it up.Thanks!'

I know, from experience, that when I first power-hosed our drive, it made a dirty sludgy mess on ndn's. I then turned power hose down to soft and hosed their drive down to the road and gave the side of their car a very careful hosing so that the sludgy water went into the public drain (thankfully before they saw it).

Try not to fall out over this. It wasn't as if they did it themselves.

CrouchingTraceyHiddenLadders Tue 02-Jun-20 12:17:27

Did you go next door and ask your neighbours if they'd sort out the s?
If you gave them an opportunity to clear it up (themselves or get the contractors back) and they didn't do so, they Abu.
If you gave them no opportunity yabu.

Janaih Tue 02-Jun-20 12:17:35

Amazing how many people will defend the ones who treat others like shit, but they rock up to every thread with a well crafted insult
Spot on.

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