My brother and SIL (not married) have been together for about four years and moved abroad just over a year and a half ago (to where she's from). We know that she uses his social media and sometimes messages us from his account as if it's him.
We've always been a bit concerned about how controlling she is of him. For example, he's only allowed to eat two biscuits per day and no other snacks and she bought a cat even though he's allergic to them and they both just insist he's no longer allergic (but we can see his eyes and nose streaming on FaceTime). We know that there is violence in their relationship and when I called him when my son was born we could hear her screaming and swearing at him in the background (in fact, the whole hospital ward could hear) when she didn't know he was on a call.
My sister and her partner split for a while around the time my brother and his partner got together but they're back together now. A couple of days ago, he showed my sister a picture of my brother that SIL had posted on Facebook - but my sister couldn't see it on her Facebook. It appears that she's blocked me, my sister, my mum, my husband, my stepdad and my brother from seeing anything she posts about my brother - for their entire relationship. Because he's tagged in them, it means that we've been blocked from his account too. But, we can see some of the things that she's posted so she's changing these settings regularly (so she didn't just set it once and forget about it, she's reblocking us).
There's never been any animosity between the family and her, although we are concerned that she's controlling, we also know that my brother is an adult and that he can make his own decisions. We make sure we're there if he needs us and to just keep an eye but also know that no relationship is perfect and that it's his choice.
My other brother and his girlfriend broke up around six months ago, and since then, SIL has "liked" every post she's posted, every profile photo change and every cover photo change - she didn't like any before they broke up. They live in different countries and have never met in person.
AIBU to think it's strange, odd and rude to block us from seeing posts about our brother (especially when we can see all her posts that aren't about our brother)? AIBU to be pretty sure she's blocked us from his account too because we know she's frequently on his account and posts/messages as if she's him - and he almost never uses Facebook himself so it's unlikely he would notice.
What should I do? Should I bring it up or not? Given that he lives so far away, it would be nice to see what he gets up to like that...
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AIBU?
AIBU to think this is rude?
36 replies
BumpBundle · 02/06/2020 07:40
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
51 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
16%
You are NOT being unreasonable
84%
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