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AIBU?

To give up work?

39 replies

mermaidparadise · 01/06/2020 23:18

Just that really...with all that's going on!! I'm a teacher and I can't keep up with school, and having my dc in part time (And therefore spending more time doing their work at home!) We don't have the ability to pay for childcare and my dh goes away with work A LOT. So we've been talking and it actually makes sense for me to hand in my notice for the foreseeable (until all of this blows over and everything goes back to normal!) Anyone else??

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 09:20

No one else 😭

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ArriettyJones · 02/06/2020 09:27

I took a career break at one point due to one of my DC being sick with lots of hospital appointments etc. It was really difficult to get back into work at the same level three years later.

How about dropping down to something like 0.4 FTE? Would that not ease the pressure?

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Lazypuppy · 02/06/2020 09:29

I personally would never give up earning my own money but everyone is different.

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AnnaBanana333 · 02/06/2020 09:30

Why do you have to give up your entire income rather than your husband making some sacrifice for his family?

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BlackberryCane · 02/06/2020 09:33

There's not a lot of information here. It sounds like you're full time but you don't actually say. Is your DH the main earner, and how secure is his role? As a teacher, you have job security, which is about to become an even more precious thing.

I would look at a lot of other options before I stopped work altogether. If you're set on giving up your current job, I'd investigate part time and also tutoring. There are going to be some children who can't go into school as normal for a while, so the demand for private tutors is likely to increase.

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 09:35

@AnnaBanana333 his job requires him to be out of the country for weeks at a time...without going into specifics he really can't do his job from home, he is technically employed in a different country and is actually paid in a different currency.

@ArriettyJones I thought about that but...what if the days still don't work to my advantage as such (then I'm still stuck for collections and childcare!)

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Student58 · 02/06/2020 09:36

I stopped teaching when I had DC as it wasnt family friendly. Don't regret it at all. I will probably go back to it when they are both in secondary. And no, I dont now earn as much as in teaching, but both times I have wanted one I have got a job working with children/young people for the part time hours I want within a couple of months. Teachers are in demand for other things.

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ploughingthrough · 02/06/2020 09:38

Depends what you teach and how easily you could get another job. Secondary maths or science? Do it- you'll get another job when you need one. Arts subjects or primary in certain areas of the country - I might struggle on or try and get part time hours to help.

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MadamFlutterby · 02/06/2020 09:39

No.

Dont give up work

I did this and bitterly regret it.

In hindsight, advice I would offer to myself back then would be:

Look at other options, for example:

A) ask for a sabbatical
B) go part-time
C) get your DH to have some personal input here to lighten the load
D) never EVER totally give up your own personal income stream.

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StrictlyAFemaleFemale · 02/06/2020 09:40

Could you take unpaid leave until the end of the school year?

What is your usual non covid setup?

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 09:43

@BlackberryCane yes I am full time right now. My dh's job is secure (I really cannot get specific about his job (I am not allowed by law essentially!)

He is paid very well, and although I mention that it is a budget issue if this was next year or last year then it wouldn't be! We have some things going on right now that mean we have high outgoings. And even though giving up my job would be a drop in income we could access a fund (a sort of trust fund, it can only be accessed for emergency usage as such ) that we have available and everything wouldn't be so messy and stressed.

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AnnaBanana333 · 02/06/2020 09:43

@mermaidparadise Okay, but why are you accepting that that's how it is and so you will need to give up your whole job and income? Is that the only job in the world he can do?

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SnuggyBuggy · 02/06/2020 09:45

It's a drastic step even if it's the right one. Could part time be an option?

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TheFallenMadonna · 02/06/2020 09:47

If you are on the usual contract for teachers, handing in your notice now would mean you leave at Christmas.

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 09:49

@ploughingthrough I am primary

@StrictlyAFemaleFemale our normal set up is that my sister used to collect them after school and keep them for an hour BUT her work hours have changed dramatically since all of this has kicked off and she doesn't know when (if ever) they will change. My parents are too old and we live very rural with all childcare providers in practically the opposite direction of school.

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solieltoday · 02/06/2020 09:53

The thing is OP, you’re a teacher, so you’re not in the same position as many of the people here who will shout the mantra “Don’t Give Up Work.” If you work in the corporate field or for a specific company, it’s much harder to have a career gap because often, you have to start over, more or less. It’s hard to get back in at the level you left off. But there will always be teaching jobs - full or part time. You could also tutor if you needed to. Schools are always looking for people to cover maternity leave and this kind of thing. I’m sure you know this anyway. My friend is a teacher with young kids and does this - chooses a job for six months or so, but then has a break before deciding on the next. She lives in the middle of nowhere, but she’s never stuck for work if she wants it.

Do what feels right for you. Also, your security is not only about income flow. You know the overall wealth and assets of your family, even if the worst happened and you were in a divorce scenario. In this sense, what other people would it wouldn’t do, is neither here nor there. This is your life and your family / work balance.

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Zenithbear · 02/06/2020 10:00

"I personally would never give up earning my own money"
I agree 100%
It's not always going to be like this.
My dc are all grown up now and I'm glad I never gave up work. I'm early 50's have pensions and savings and been able to invest in property so I am part time now. People who say go back later on, I honestly wouldn't want to work full time now - a career doesn't interest me enough anymore, I have lots of time to do what I want and I don't want to use my energy up working.

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 10:00

@AnnaBanana333 yes...it is a very specialised position.

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1AngelicFruitCake · 02/06/2020 10:05

It sounds like you’re determined to leave your job but I’m a teacher and it’s been very hard getting a part time role. Even a full time role if you are more experienced is often filled by an NQT in my experience. Think very carefully before giving up your job

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 10:07

@TheFallenMadonna the principal in my school is going to accommodate that scenario shall we say. We have spoken about it already...she is a very good friend of mine.

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TheFallenMadonna · 02/06/2020 10:12

That's fortunate then.

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Igtg · 02/06/2020 10:13

I think it’s very risky. There must be so many teachers in similar positions trying to work around childcare. I would be honest with your headteacher and consider all your options eg part-time or take leave until September.

I am a teacher and had to resign due to childcare issues around my disabled dc. I intended to take two years out and it’s already been five and I don’t know if I’ll ever get back tbh.

It does depend on how old you are and the job situation in your area. Of course that all might change post-Covid with more or fewer jobs.

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Mulhollandmagoo · 02/06/2020 10:24

Would it be a possibility for you to hand your notice in and then join an supply teaching agency? So you can pick up hours when it's possible for you and you've still kept your foot in the door and still earning some money

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mermaidparadise · 02/06/2020 10:41

@Mulhollandmagoo I could possibly do that once I know what is happening in September I suppose.

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Artartart · 02/06/2020 10:42

How can you not afford childcare but could give up your full time wage from teaching? I don't mean this to be goady and obvs right now I totally understand childcare is hard to come by. But the financial side isn't making sense on this statement.

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