To wish my child could go back to school!

[Livingmybestliferight]

He is 10 in Yr 5. Throughout lockdown his behaviour has become gradually worse and worse. He has become fixated on the computer. Playing Roblox sometimes and another designing rollercoaster etc. It was far more time than he would normally be allowed but it was like a coping mechanism to him. He didn't want to go out and it made him happy so I let him. Big mistake right there. Now everytime we make him go out as a family he is awful. He moans, shouts, is rude and cheeky and so fucking annoying. This has resulted in him being banned from the computer. He cannot cope with this. He has refused to do school work today and is doing his utmost to wind me up I think. He has been banging, making deranged noises, shouted and all sorts for the last 2 hours. Nothing either me or his dad says stops him. He is relentless. I honestly do not know how to get him to stop. I've calmly told him he isnt going back on it until the weekend at the minimum and he has to improve his behaviour and do what he used to before all of this. He cannot be quiet for a second. Any ideas? Before I throw him out of the window?! All I can hear is bang bang bang moan moan moan arrgh!!

[Scottishgirl85]

Sorry to hear your situation. You've acknowledged that allowing the prolonged computer time in first place was not great. The thing that jumped out for me was your punishment time. Why would he behave well for rest of week when it's already banned until the weekend. Punishment and reward needs to be more immediate, and in this case reward cannot always be the computer. There must be other treats he'd be motivated by?

[Dee1975]

How about offering a deal to allow him to have it back, max say 30 mins a day if he does x,y and z ?

[slipperywhensparticus]

Is he neuro typical? If he is give him a clear choice be quiet or never see roblox again

I've uninstalled it for less and my kids are NOT NT

Roblox is the frigging devils work

[MoreHippoThanPenguin]

I am so sorry to hear that you are struggling. This is an awful time for everyone.

I have three DC, love them all dearly. Sometimes I struggle with DS ( 9, year 4) as he is very emotional, gets upset about things and occasionally does not want to do anything I tell him.

I have found that positive things helps. Going to buy ice cream (shops close by have opened), baking cakes (especially with icing), finding books we both like etc brings us closer together. This makes it easier for me to persuade him to do things for school (especially if I explain why I need him to do it). Not sure if that makes sense?

[PrincessConsueIaBananaHammock]

Now everytime we make him go out as a family he is awful.

What happens when you go out?
Is there anything fun like riding a bike,playing football etc?
Or just aimlessly walking for the sake of "being out" repeating the same mundane conversations over and over again?

Does he play the games by himself or with his friends? I've let DD be online a lot as it's the only contact she has with other children.

His attitude is not ok, but he already lost his computer until the weekend. It's only Monday so unless you find some other kind of reward there's no motivation for him to behave.

[BogRollBOGOF]

My y4 and y2 get installments of "tech" through the day. Time can be earned or deducted, but generally they don't lose more than one session at a time although sometimes we do a screen-free day if necessary to do a bit of detoxing.

With walks (and chores) they'll be told that they have a certain allowence of time to do the walk/ chore and have tech, and the more efficiently the walk/ chore is done, the longer the proportion of time on tech.

I've managed to avoid Roblox so far, I've heard too much about how addictive it is. I already have minecraft addicts. I can tellthe difference in them when they've been doing creative compared to the competitive server games where the action spills into real life. It doesn't help that they snuggle up together, then one dies in-game and all hell breaks lose in RL.

[Livingmybestliferight]

Good points about it being a long punishment. Normally he loses the privilege for the rest of the day however this has happened at least 3 times in the last week and a bit so he is not learning his lesson at all. He was horrible yesterday on a walk in the woods. We hadn't been there before and we wanted to find the streams and stepping stones for him to paddle in but he moaned so much which then escalated into yelling we left and came home. Wasnt allowed on it then. He was briefly on the computer this morning but after refusing to do his work I turned it off again and said that was it for the week. Hes finally stopped banging but I'm stressed.