Hi,
I am hoping to gain some much needed perspective and difference in views. I’m 33, and have just had my first baby after being married last year.
It’s fair to say I’ve struggled financially since finishing university, and as we all do, have had some big and brutal bumps in the road. I had £2k of debt to pay, or the uni said I wouldnt get my degree. My parents refused to help, and my friends bailed me out.
Bumps range from losing jobs to having money stolen from me. I was also taken by a builder who bodged work on my house, and it’s taken my husband and his dad over a year to fix themselves, as we couldn’t afford more builders.
My parents, to be straight, are apparently wealthy. They own numerous houses and businesses, have a collection of expensive cars etc. They work hard, and have had good fortune.
My mum adopted my step fathers daughter recently, as her mother died which is obviously awful.
I also have a sister who is and has been a complete disaster area. Lurching from crisis to crisis. At one time she was nearly sectioned. It is all drama, she is perfectly well just loves drama and chaos.
The adopted sister is 18, and just finished school.
I have been told that if you want something in life, there are no handouts, go and earn it if you want it. This has been my path.
Over the years I feel more and more resentful to my parents. My sister seems to get her life remapped and fixed with every new drama, and recently has been bought a house and had it fully renovated for her. While she bought it from them for what they paid, she made a lot of money and has a lovely new home.
My house has leaked for over a year, and they haven’t even as much as phoned me about it. I spoke to my mum and she said they would give us some money to fix it, as I was pregnant and we really were in a bind.
This never materialised and have had to save and husband do the work himself.
The final straw came when my grandmother died, and I found out they had lied about inheritance. When questioned, they emailed me with a threat of legal action. I was 6 months pregnant. They bought the 18 year old a flat with my family money, and gave her a huge chunk of money, which was not in the will. We were told expressly that it was, and I feel duped by This man.
I want to know if I am being unreasonable, if I should be more adult and realise I am not their responsibility. I just feel that I am being laughed at, and it’s broken our relationship.
When I couldn’t take any more I opened up and told them all of this. They now say they don’t want to contact again, and will never see my son.
It’s heartbreaking but I just need some differing opinion as I am going out of my mind.
Please be kind, but please be honest.
Thanks
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AIBU?
Neglectful family or me?
132 replies
Ecclescakes20 · 31/05/2020 15:09
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
289 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
20%
You are NOT being unreasonable
80%
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