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To think Mil is a cheeky cow?

(108 Posts)
KangarooAtTheZoo Sun 31-May-20 13:52:32

My parents live an hour and 20 minutes away by car. My Mil lives an hour and 30 minutes away in the other direction. My Mil has never made an effort with my parents and completely ignored them at my wedding (only 15 guests at my wedding) and has sent them passive aggressive text messages in the past. She has never been interested in my dc much, but is always asking how often my parents are visiting and makes passive aggressive comments about it. She has tried to invite herself on a day she knows my parents are visiting and isn't interested in visiting another day.
Both me and my husband can't drive due to different reasons but I am hoping to learn soon.
My Mil is on the government vulnerable list due to her medication. My parents are not on the list and are in their early 50s.

Mil has said that when the lockdown is eased that my parents should drive to my house and then pick us all up and then drive to her house so she can see my dc in the garden. My dc is 2 years old and would not understand the distancing rules. My parents have not seen my dc for 3 months and don't want to spend almost 6 hours driving in one day and to mostly see my dc in the back seat of a car.
AIBU to think my Mil is being a cheeky cow?

OP’s posts: |
3rdNamechange Sun 31-May-20 13:53:55


jgjgjgjgjg Sun 31-May-20 13:54:26

"No that doesn't work for us" springs to mind....

Russell19 Sun 31-May-20 13:55:13

Just sat no.

Russell19 Sun 31-May-20 13:55:20


SpillTheTeaa Sun 31-May-20 13:55:39

Erm no? She needs to stop making suggestions that puts everyone out but her.

Helendee Sun 31-May-20 13:56:06

Yes very cheeky but obviously missing her grandchild. Is she seeing him/her on Zoom or FaceTime?

LillianBland Sun 31-May-20 13:56:52

I’m just here waiting for the first twat to come on and tell you “but she’s a granny toooooo. It’s not fairrrrr.” grin

Aquamarine1029 Sun 31-May-20 13:57:11

1. Tell your MIL this isn't going to happen. Ever.

2. Have your parents block her from their phones. Why they have each other's numbers in the first place is beyond me.

3. Inform your husband that from now on, he can deal with his mother because you're done with it.

NeuroAtypical Sun 31-May-20 13:57:13

Don't think you're being unreasonable. For someone who doesn't make any effort to talk to your parents or see you dc, that's a tall order to make. I'm assuming she's ordering/demanding this rather than asking nicely? Even if asking nicely, it's up to your parents to decide if they have the energy to make this journey/do her this favour.

whiteroseredrose Sun 31-May-20 13:57:30

That would be a no from me.

Your parents come to see you - lovely. Nothing to do with your MIL at all.

WeveGottaGetTherouxThis Sun 31-May-20 13:57:49

YADNBU. I hate it when people put you in these situations. They make it sound like such a no-brainer, that you look unreasonable for saying no.

Oldraver Sun 31-May-20 14:02:01

So what is wrong with MIL driving to you and seeing the kids in your garden ?

I would say to MIL...why on earth would my parents do that ?

HollowTalk Sun 31-May-20 14:04:52

She's beyond cheeky.

What does your partner think of it?

Helendee Sun 31-May-20 14:08:04


There’s nothing wrong with both sets of parents having each others’ numbers if they want to do it.
My son’s in-laws are our really good friends.

JudyCoolibar Sun 31-May-20 14:09:18

You really need to ask her how on earth it could possibly be reasonable to expect your parents to spend 6 hours extra driving just so as to give her lifts. And why she can't take a cab.

IndecentFeminist Sun 31-May-20 14:10:33

Does she drive?

matchboxtwentyunwell Sun 31-May-20 14:10:46

Have your DH tell her no, it's not happening.

Windyatthebeach Sun 31-May-20 14:13:20

Ime ils don't need your mobile phone number..
Made for a stress free life for me op!!

Standrewsschool Sun 31-May-20 14:13:39

Yes she is cheeky.

ArnoJambonsBike Sun 31-May-20 14:16:01


I know MILs can do no wrong in your world, but could you explain how you've managed to interpret

"obviously missing her grandchild" from "She has never been interested in my dc much"?

There is nothing obvious from that.

Herbie0987 Sun 31-May-20 14:16:04

Let her enjoy her fantasy world

AJPTaylor Sun 31-May-20 14:16:59

I would also point out that the day your dc can get in a car with anyone not from your household is far away.

WhereYouLeftIt Sun 31-May-20 14:21:56

"Yes very cheeky but obviously missing her grandchild."
Hmm. OP doesn't seem to think so - "She has never been interested in my dc much".

NotSuchASmugMarriedNow1 Sun 31-May-20 14:22:39

Just let her come to you and spend time social distancing in your garden

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