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To feel a bit like my time has been disrespected

(9 Posts)
flatpillow Sun 31-May-20 12:40:44

On Wednesday I messaged a friend/mentor to ask if I could phone them this week and gave them a brief description of what I needed to talk about. They said it was no problem and we could chat on Friday.

Friday came and I hadn’t heard anything more, usually they contact me on the day to ask if a certain time suits me. I then contacted them that evening and it transpired that they’d had a busy day and had forgotten, which is no problem, though I had been waiting all day for the message/phone call.

On Saturday morning they asked me if I was free on Saturday, I said yes but acknowledged that it was Saturday - we met through a previous job and Saturday is their day off so I didn’t want to demand that they give me some of their day off unless they were happy to. They didn’t reply to my message, even though they were the one to initiate and ask me if Saturday suited me! They haven’t even read it yet.

I would really like to have this conversation and I’ve now spent two days waiting to hear when suits my friend to have it. I know nobody’s perfect but AIBU to feel a little bit annoyed?

OP’s posts: |
Tatty101 Sun 31-May-20 12:46:57

If they're doing you a favour, you do kinda need to work around their schedule. Clearly right now isn't too good for them, could you suggest a date and a time in a week or two so you're not wasting anymore time and your friend/mentor isn't being pestered?

roses2 Sun 31-May-20 12:49:06

I wouldn't be too offended by this. Everyone has a lot on at the moment and the days are all blurring into one with little concept of day/night/weekend.

Why don't you send a message with a specific time request rather than leave it open? Then hopefully that will result in a firmer time.

rawlikesushi Sun 31-May-20 12:55:42

Well it's obvious that they're busy, preoccupied, coping with something or just cba with you at the moment.

When they suggested Saturday why didn't you just say yes please? They wouldn't have suggested it if they didn't want to do it on that day. Could your reply have come across as if you weren't happy with saturday?

It's a strange time. You're asking for a favour, and two days of waiting on a call doesn't seem that bad to me.

justmyview Sun 31-May-20 12:57:27

I think you're overthinking this. People are busy. No one is at heir best just now. How about a short friendly message eg "I'm very grateful to you for offering to help. Would 5pm today suit you? If not, please could you suggest when would suit you better?"

flatpillow Sun 31-May-20 21:27:30

Totally understand that I’m the one asking for help and I appreciate that my friend is willing to give it. I’m happy to wait for a time that suits them, I know that for everyone it’s a bit of a crazy time at the minute to say the least!

What bothered me was more the fact that they suggested two different times that we could talk and I set aside time for it but in the end the plans didn’t materialise.

OP’s posts: |
bottlenose301 Mon 01-Jun-20 00:06:13

I'd cut them some slack if they don't usually have form for this, given the current situation.

TitianaTitsling Mon 01-Jun-20 00:09:27

But you asked if you could phone them? So why expect them to call you?

Pumpkintopf Mon 01-Jun-20 00:16:46

Without reading the text of your and their messages hard to say but I agree with pp you may have been vague.

Try going back with something more concrete like -

Thanks so much for giving up your time for a chat sorry we've not managed to arrange it yet - I can do Tuesday at 10am or Wednesday at 7pm, either any good for you? If not, let me know when you can do. Shall we say me to call you this time? Thanks.

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