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To be really pissed off with neighbour?

(15 Posts)
Magicra84 Sun 31-May-20 10:05:46

I live next door to a single man, late forties. We get along nicely. Only problem is he's loud. Loud doing things in the house, loud music (which I've asked him to turn down and he kindly and apologetically obliged and apart from the odd time he's kept to it more or less. He does still blare it out in to the garden every now and then). Everything is noisy. He has tiled floors throughout so it probably carries the noise. The walls are quite thick though but I think he's just loud and inconsiderate. He woke me up at 6am slamming doors.

Anyway, that's not my AIBU. I've got really bad anxiety at the moment so I may be overreacting. There have also been a spate of break ins so I'm more alert than usual.

Anyway, I was winding down, finally nodding off at 1am last night. It's been a pain in the arse trying to get to sleep. All of a sudden I heard voices outside. A deep man's voice. I panicked. It carried on for five minutes and through the double glazing it was muffled but loud. I eventually figured out, after being shit scared, that it was NDN shouting (and top note) his cat in. Shouting at 1am. On top of all the other noise, I'm at the end of my tether. He's an inconsiderate twat. After he played his shite music with heavy bass into the garden where I was relaxing yesterday, I'm just so pissed off with him.

OP’s posts: |
hotstepper4 Sun 31-May-20 12:53:36

Probably a reason why he's single! Cos he's a selfish twat. You can't do anything with these people. Tbh you're lucky he turned his music down when you asked and didn't use it as an excuse to turn it up out of spite.

I'd definitely say something to him.

ClementineTangerine Sun 31-May-20 13:08:05

YADNBU! What a pain. I think you'll probably need to day something if you dont think either of you will be moving out any time soon.

My parents have lived in their current house for 20 years (since I was a kid) and have always maintained that they never want to move.

New neightbours moved in just before christmas and my mum and dad are now actually looking at moving. The neighbours are pleasant enough to say hello to but their banging, slamming doors, building work and relentless screaming of their very young kids between 7am and midnight has driven them to the point of wanting to move.

rawlikesushi Sun 31-May-20 13:22:52

Would it help to think of all the ways that you've got it quite lucky?

He hasn't got noisy children screaming in the garden, babies crying at night, dogs barking while he's out at work.

What he has got is a loud, deep voice and tiled floors.

Are you sure he was purposefully slamming doors? Ours slam sometimes if we have windows open.

On the one occasion you complained, he was apologetic and has been more considerate since, so really I think this doesn't sound too bad as far as neighbour complaints are concerned.

Sleep with earplugs in?

Magicra84 Sun 31-May-20 13:39:59

@rawlikesushi but he's just so inconsiderate! Shouting loudly for the cat at 1am and knowing me and other neighbours relaxing in our gardens can hear his music which I'm sure isn't to all our taste is bloody inconsiderate! What's wrong with toning the noise down and headphones for the music if he's somewhere it might infringe on other people? I'm always very careful not to make much noise. He'd been out and came back at 6am this morning and the banging of doors and banging of cupboards woke me up. I wasn't happy.

OP’s posts: |
Mintjulia Sun 31-May-20 13:46:41

I thought about doors slamming in the breeze too. Our windows are open and ds leaves doors ajar that then slam in the wind.

I don’t think your neighbour sounds too bad really, just not used to living with nervous people. He definitely has potential to turn out ok.

I had a neighbour once who complained every time my alarm clock went off at 7am ( weekdays), threw weeds and dog poo into my garden and threatened to call the police when a builder put scaffolding up to repoint my chimney because it was “a security risk”. Maybe he expected the builder to fly hmm.

Perhaps give yours a chance. Ask him pointedly if he found his cat last night. He’ll know he disturbed you, without you having to complain smile

Itwasntme1 Sun 31-May-20 14:25:59

Sounds tolerable, so I think you may be overly sensitive to noise at the moment.

My neighbours argue all through the night - and he sings at the top of his lungs - sometimes at 3am. But I know they aren’t the worst.

Lima45 Sun 31-May-20 14:46:58

It's tricky when he appears to be agreeing only to move onto something else. I feel your pain though.

DP has Asperger's and is hyper sensitive to sounds. Which was fine until we got new neighbours who want to do DIY.

Doing DIY is reasonable. Starting it at 7:40 pm at night not so much. When I asked them if they could perhaps do it the next day as it was reverberating through my house.

I got told they'd continue until whatever time they chose. Was told to "get inside as you don't know me and if you don't you'll know exactly who I am" apparently they're "professionals and know what they're doing"

The guy was waving a hammer at the time.

All week I've been forced to listen to their music as they've out the speaker against the party wall so if I'm in my kitchen or hallway I can hear it.

Today it's the power tools shaking my kitchen all afternoon. My DD is hiding in our bedroom (furthest away from the noise)

DP is having an autistic meltdown. There's nowhere to escape the noise.

So I feel for you. I wish we could move but we're council tenants in an adapted house for DP.

rawlikesushi Sun 31-May-20 14:59:09

I don't disagree but if he lives alone then he isn't used to tiptoeing around or considering anyone else, and he may just not be aware of how far his voice or footsteps or closing cupboard doors noise carries, particularly on a still summer's night when everyone has their windows open.

Maybe you could have a conversation, since he seems approachable but - you shouted your cat once, have a tiled floor, sometimes slam cupboards, does sound a little over-sensitive.

You should also be prepared for him to have his own complaints about you - I'd be amazed if he didn't have any, semi detached living does need some tolerance and compromise.

recycledteenager24 Sun 31-May-20 15:18:36

lima i'd speak to the police for advice if neighbour is 'threatening' you while waving a hammer and also speak to enviromental health at council. neighbour cannot do as he pleases when he pleases, he's a professional ? professional knob i guess.
get your gp onside too for your dh as well as yourself if this is causing so much anxiety, you don't have to put up with this rubbish in your own home.
make a note of times and incidents as they occur.

Lima45 Sun 31-May-20 15:34:14

@recycledteenager24 We got the police out over the threats. According to the officers they're "lovely people who work with kids"

They calmed down for two days then redoubled on the noise.

I'm keeping a diary and reporting to the council. But getting no response.

Just tried emailing our local councillor hoping he can put a firecracker under the noise team.

So on edge and anxious it's driving me mad.

Sorry for derailing your thread OP

recycledteenager24 Sun 31-May-20 15:51:38

sometimes the police can be hopeless, keep reporting and maybe contact your local pcso, they are more 'grass roots' level iyswim,
can you record noise, get photos, videos perhaps ?
they are clearly not 'lovely people' but just fobbed off the officers with a load of crap.
take it up with your local mp if push comes to shove.

Lima45 Sun 31-May-20 17:27:18

Oh I intend to. It's driving DP to distraction.
With his Asperger's he doesn't get how people who don't follow the rules get away with it while strict rule abiders have to suffer.

Thanks for all the tips. I do appreciate it

RedHelenB Mon 01-Jun-20 13:31:25

I think you are being very unreasonable, sorry, He's not responsible for your anxiety and calling a cat in is very much normal noise.

myBumJuiceSmellsLikeRoses Mon 01-Jun-20 14:09:27

I'm wfh and have been putting up with the general noise as most of my neighbours seem to be chainsawing trees, powerwashing, mowing, etc. (why does the chainsaw always start when you're on a conference call with the window open?).
Unfortunately one of the boys in the house behind seems to have been presented with a lump hammer. He's about 8. All day up to around 9pm at night he's just in the garden bang. bang, bang. Hitting anything and everything. It's driving me nuts. Last week it was a saw. Wondering what next weeks toy will be....

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