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To ask for help to level my head

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mummyofthreemunchkins Sat 30-May-20 21:17:28

Probably more of a thread for the anxiety thread but wanted to post here for footfall.
Since the outbreak of covid my anxiety had absolutely hit the roof, as I'm sure a lot of other people's has.
I have pretty much locked myself away for the past couple of months, taken short walks in the middle of nowhere to avoid people. I'm sure I may have turned myself slightly agrophobic. My husband has been brilliant doing the running around for shopping etc after I had a panic attack when I attempted to pop to the shop for essentials one time. I understand that this is totally unfair on him and get that life does need to return to some kind of normal at some point.
We went for a walk to our local country park a few days ago and completely panicked when we saw people in the distance! It's like it's got completely out of control!
I'm absolutely petrified I'm going to catch it from somewhere and not be here for my babies... I've lost both my nannas, parents and my sister in a very short space of time, which set off a very wobbly sense of my own mortality (which probably isn't healthy!)
Anyway, I've had a call to say I'm back at work on Monday (working as a school cleaner) and my stomach has been churning ever since, I'm dreading going back. My sister works in a hospital and my nephew in a supermarket, she said to me that they are both at high risk of catching it, and they have been absolutely fine... and I totally get that. But I just can't shake this feeling of constant dread.
I'm not sure what I'm asking for really, maybe some reassurance chat, or reassurance that how I'm feeling is not totally crazy, or just some helpful words

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