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Help my solve the mystery

(30 Posts)
Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:28:57

Was woken at half four this morning by a woman talking loudly on her phone outside. For context I live in a small sort of cul-de-sac type road - neighbours are pretty much all families or elderly as far as I know.

So 5am woman is talking loudly on mobile saying “well I’ve just jumped out of the cab but can’t find your house” walking up and down, “oh is down this way etc”. Could hear high heels clattering.

Now yes I’m nosy - but... what on earth? Under normal circumstances it would be odd for here but in lockdown?

Dh and I have been trying to work it out... booty call (but who for), underground nightclub run by one of the OAP’s?

What’s your theory?

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TeenPlusTwenties Sat 30-May-20 09:30:27

Underground hairdresser?

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:32:55

Ooh yes - she only goes out in the dead of night to avoid detection!

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MadeForThis Sat 30-May-20 09:34:12

Bootie call

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:36:36

@MadeForThis see to me that’s exactly what it sounded like tbh (or possibly sex worker). But... honestly it’s a close with all three bed houses - majority pensioners with a couple of families thrown in so am baffled as to who would be having the booty call!

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StillCoughingandLaughing Sat 30-May-20 09:36:48


Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:38:30

I do wish I’d looked out the window now! If it wasn’t for the heels I may have assumed carer.

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Seeline Sat 30-May-20 09:40:46

Can probably dropped her in the Close by mistake and she should have been in the main road. Do they have similar names eg Smith Road and Smith Close?

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:47:07

@Seeline the “main” road would be probably even more unlikely and name is completely different. “Main road” (which is still a sort of private road) is made up of huge family houses - and generally again older people and families.

I think it must honestly be a booty call or sex worker - but am now trying to work out which of either the old ladies is secretly having a affair with what sounded like a youngish girl, or which of the nice family men are a secret shagger!

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Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:55:29

The lockdown element is also confusing me - aren’t 4am booty calls usually after a drunken night out (or is that just my experience grin)

Like would you honestly leave your house at 4am and jump in a cab? For someone who you habe obviously never visited before?

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JacobReesMogadishu Sat 30-May-20 09:57:45

Pensioners still use prostitutes. The most prolific user of the village prostitute in our village must be over 80. I see her at his place frequently.

MashedSpud Sat 30-May-20 10:00:53

Prostitute, drunk granddaughter or drug dealer.

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:02:51

@jacob - sorry should have been clear -
Pensioners are all women! I think there are maybe twenty ish houses here. My direct five neighbours are all elderly women.

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DinghyCalledDignity Sat 30-May-20 10:03:54

Don't know but the house opposite, do they have net curtains? Do they wash them often enough? 🙂

SockYarn Sat 30-May-20 10:04:06

She was probably looking for a road with a similar name and got the wrong street.

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:06:07

@MashedSpud I discounted drug dealer as surely the cab would have waited. Drunk granddaughter would surely already know where the house was!

I’m honestly not naive - and have lived plenty of places where all the above are likely - but it really is weird here!

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Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:07:59

@DinghyCalledDignity I know I know! I’m honestly not a nosy neighbour! I was literally woken up by her loudly having the convo on the phone - and clip clipping outside. Dh couldn’t sleep and was downstairs and said the same thing about how strange it was!

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AwkwardPaws27 Sat 30-May-20 10:08:52

Pensioners are all women!
Maybe they are finally exploring their sexuality? grin

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:10:52

@SockYarn really unlikely on the street name - it’s pretty unique and none similar in the area.

Without being outing - we live in like a modern offshoot of a gated conservation area - so you’d know you were in the right place iyswim - either you’re in front of a multi million pound mansion - or you’re in our far more modest little close.

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Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:13:48

@JacobReesMogadishu one thought on your 80 year old - is he still having his visitors during lockdown? Not saying he’s likely to be a “rule follower” more the risks for him at his age!

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JacobReesMogadishu Sat 30-May-20 10:15:49

I haven’t gone past his house during lockdown so not sure if he’s still having his visitor or not.

VenusTiger Sat 30-May-20 10:16:20

Has a MN 'D'H-cheat been thrown out and is now living with elderly mother?

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:21:00

@VenusTiger ooh maybe! But the women are being very careful about social distancing - so a bit unlikely. Have seen families come and visit but stayed outside etc - of course some may be having visitors - I wouldn’t really notice!

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AdoptedBumpkin Sat 30-May-20 10:24:44

That does sound really odd under the circumstances. Sex caller sounds the best bet.

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:31:58

She did sound young though - like late teens maybe. If I knew anyone who had teenagers would surmise it’s a boy smuggling her in (though would totally be busted with the racket she was making).

But as far as I know - there are no teenagers!

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