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To ask why can people in work be so bitchy?

(30 Posts)
DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 03:30:38

I've noticed where I used to work - in 2 particular places - 2 women I've known have commented on other women's private lives. I blatantly heard one woman once say "She's got no friends" about a woman who she didn't seem to know personally and another woman in another workplace say "Oh R hasn't got a boyfriend she never goes out". My reply was "what if she does and we don't know about him"? She said "oh if she did she'd go out with him" My main feeling with the gossipy woman was at the time "when did you ever speak to her?" I;m so over narrow minded stupid people

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Thepigeonsarecoming Sat 30-May-20 03:50:24

Wait are you being bitchy about women in work being bitchy about other women?

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 03:50:46

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Thepigeonsarecoming Sat 30-May-20 03:54:20

DawnChorusGirl

YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Then following your own advice I’m so over narrow minded stupid people

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 04:13:05

Thepigeonsarecoming

Sorry - I didn't mean I was intending to be bitchy to anyone. But I am querying why sometimes in offices people gossip and speculate about people's private lives unnecessarily. I mean in the above example I did say to a woman who was gossiping - "you know, we don't know about her private life, she may have a partner etc we don't know about."- and I did that to make it into a more balanced /objective discussion and to try and make things as fair as people to the person being gossiped about.

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walkingchuckydoll Sat 30-May-20 04:15:20

People gossip. It's a worldwide human trait.

Ursula2001 Sat 30-May-20 04:19:57

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

mumsonthenet Sat 30-May-20 04:33:10

Threatend! By those type of comments to do with her personal life.
As a male colleague says, What does it matter what these people say or think..

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 09:28:16

Thanks for all your comments. I think your last sentence sums it up @mumsonthenet

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Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:31:59

It’s not just women who gossip you know. It infuriates me when this is bandied about. I fact, it tends to said by “narrow minded stupid people”.

Barnabyboyo Sat 30-May-20 09:47:37

Men gossip nowhere near as much as women. I’ve worked a lot with both and women always are the worst by miles

Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 09:50:00

I disagree- it just completely depends on who you work with. I can think of three men I’ve worked with at different places who gossiped and bitched far more than any of the women.

Conversely I can think of just one woman known for gossiping somewhere else.

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 09:53:04

Although the examples in this case were women, men can be dreadful gossips too, I don't disagree!

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Pelleas Sat 30-May-20 09:54:20

Not just women by any means. I've worked with some terribly bitchy men. In my experience, it's dressed up as humour - this one man would make awful comments about people and you'd see him look round afterwards for 'applause' - i.e. laughter.

SecretSpAD Sat 30-May-20 09:55:11

I’ve worked a lot with both and women always are the worst by miles

Ive also worked with both and the men were far, far worse and far more bitchy than the women.

I don't much go in for blindly supporting women for the mere fact that we are all women.....but it is slightly galling when it has just been shown that women are losing out most in their careers during lockdown that some bright spark decides to start a thread on a female dominated web site to get us to join in with stories of bitchy women at work.

CourtneyLurve Sat 30-May-20 09:55:57

My career has been in mostly male-dominated offices and men definitely gossip/slag others off, but they tend to pass it off as more of a laugh and 'bitches be crazy, am I right?".

Stripesgalore Sat 30-May-20 09:55:58

It isn’t bitchy to say someone doesn’t have a boyfriend and doesn’t go out.

The above is true of me. I don’t care if people say it!

My workplace is gossip central for both men and women. It is one of the few things that makes my vile job bearable.

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 09:58:23

Stripesgalore - Personally I think it's bitchy to say a person has not boyfriend and doesn't go out if they don't know the person and are merely speculating!

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IHateCoronavirus Sat 30-May-20 10:01:12

I can quite honestly say our boss (male) is far more bitchy than the vast majority of women in the place I work.

I completely agree that gossip and the sort are not conductive to a healthy work environment.

MashedSpud Sat 30-May-20 10:04:29

It makes them feel superior.

FeelingTheBurn Sat 30-May-20 10:07:24

People gossip.

I never talk about my private life at work- and so people make a lot of assumptions. I don't care. They are colleagues, not friends, so while I get on reasonably well with everybody, I am not going to correct anything they might think or say, unless they ask directly- which they won't.

DawnChorusGirl Sat 30-May-20 10:11:32

Thanks FeelingTheBurn that's very insightful

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Seventybillionnamechanges Sat 30-May-20 10:15:43

It also seems that you have made some assumptions - you say she “didn’t seem to know her” - so you don’t know for sure.

Also neither of those statements when taken at face value are bitchy. Though of course, context is everything.

Barnabyboyo Sat 30-May-20 11:43:18

There’s no way that the people saying the men are more bitchy are telling the truth. You don’t like to hear anything against women so are making stuff up

LockdownSlimmingQueen Sat 30-May-20 11:47:46

Barnabyboyo - lets face of it both men and women in the workplace can be guilty of immature shameful behaviour

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