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AIBU?

WIBU to go to the papers about someone

170 replies

Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:11

I wish I could tell the story as it would help greatly but the details would be far too outing, but I’ve found out something about a friend which has made my blood boil and I don’t think they should get away with it.

Normally I wouldn’t be a “snitch” but this person has a high profile position especially at the moment, and has done something pretty heinous not to mention some other unethical things as a result of the heinous thing.

The reason I’m considering the papers is that this person was interviewed just a few weeks ago and painted as a bit of a local hero, which they absolutely are not.

They’re a friend of a friend so some of the details If they got out would lead back to my friend and then to me.

Has anyone ever gone to the paper about something? How did you feel afterwards? Did you get anonymity?

Just do point out this is not a “neighbour went for a 40 mile cycle in lockdown” type story.

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Am I being unreasonable?

233 votes. Final results.

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You are NOT being unreasonable
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KelpHelper · 30/05/2020 00:13

If it’s a matter of illegal acts, surely you’d take your evidence, if you have any, to the police? What do you mean by ‘heinous’?

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LilyMarshall · 30/05/2020 00:14

Is it a police matter or gossip?

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ssd · 30/05/2020 00:16

Leave them alone.

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Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:16

The police have already been involved with the heinous thing.

There’s a story around the heinous thing that is of public interest given this person’s position.

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DramaAlpaca · 30/05/2020 00:17

Think very carefully first about what you actually want to achieve by doing this.

Also, think about whether you could cope with the public attention that might come from it, because anonymity couldn't be guaranteed.

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JaniceBattersby · 30/05/2020 00:17

I’m a journalist. All sources are always kept anonymous if they so wish.

It totally depends on the ‘crime’ tbh, there’s not really enough info here to judge. If it’s a serious level of hypocrisy or something that could have a serious effect on others then you could have a chat with a journalist. They’ll need to find some level of proof before running a story so you might need to point them in the right direction.

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steff13 · 30/05/2020 00:17

I think you'd be unreasonable to go to the papers. If it's a legal matter, maybe the police.

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RoomR0613 · 30/05/2020 00:19

Chris Whitty buying Frogmore Cottage using the proceeds of the millions he has made stockpiling face masks and hand gel made from the sweat of NHS workers?

I think that's about the only thing that could knock DomStillCummingNotGoing from the top spot at the moment...

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roxfox · 30/05/2020 00:20

If you think it's in public interest then yes you should go to the press. People get away with lots of shit when people keep their dirty secrets!!!

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ssd · 30/05/2020 00:20

Is it to do with AS ?

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CoachBombay · 30/05/2020 00:21

What did the police do/say? Was their act illegal or immoral?

I've been in "the press" and had to deal with them it wasn't my fault, I was a victim of a situation. But I hated every second of it, and they hounded me constantly. They attempted to blackmail me, intruded on my private social media. My life was no longer my own, and I was the victim!

So I would say if there is a victim involved in this, tread carefully OP.

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Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:22

So I work in comms. I have done this before, but I urge enormous caution. I have dropped a couple of stories to national papers about high profile people. I did it because frankly that had done horrible things and I couldn’t deal with the hypocrisy. One story went crazy, the other went nowhere (at first) as they lawyered up.

If it makes you or your friend identifiable, I would suggest not to do it unless you are happy to lose a friend.

If you do it, then do it by phone. Their lawyers may ask you to sign a statement, but it is unlikely as your info is third hand so you aren’t a witness.

I would say, tread cautiously. But it does feel amazing when you bring down a hippo rite who was doing bad things.

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Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:24

@CoachBombay yes there is a victim and I hadn’t actually thought of it from that point of view. Which actually makes me more angry that this person will get away it.

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Notmyrealname855 · 30/05/2020 00:24

Who is AS?!

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infuriatedatthisshitshow · 30/05/2020 00:25

Is it in the public interest (is it someone going against their own rules or done so thing so bad that betrays the public trust ) or is it gossip (interesting to know but no effect on public)
If the first then do it (bare in mind you will definitely lose the friend who told you and also probably some mutual friends)
If the second then No, keep your nose out.

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Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:26

I would also say, if it is sexual assault or hurting someone who is disabled in some way, I tend to feel obliged to get it out there if I know it is true.

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CoachBombay · 30/05/2020 00:27

Sadie I think you need to approach the victim to be honest if you plan on doing this. All I had was press outlets offering me sums of money for a story like my life was for sale, they said they would release family pictures they had obtained, I hated it.

I get that sometimes everyone wasn't a sensational story or to demonise someone , but then the victims of circumstance get dragged in to it and it's hideous.

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Sadie789 · 30/05/2020 00:29

Definitely public interest.

Scotland is too small a place for me to give anything close to the real details. It’s coronavirus related.

I think if I knew there was no way it could ever be linked back to me I would absolutely be telling the papers. I think it would make the front page.

However I think I would end up worrying for a long time that the person would find out it was me and to be honest I am a bit scared of them.

However as a P.P has said, this is how people get away with things.

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CurtainWitcher · 30/05/2020 00:30

Yes, go to the press.

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Caplin · 30/05/2020 00:30

One of the stories I helped get out there involved numerous victims, and so far none have been identified in the press despite the story blowing up.it is possible to maintain anonymity.

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IncrediblySadToo · 30/05/2020 00:30

Do you know the victim well enough to tell them what you know & decide together what you should do?

Not unreasonable at all to expose someone IF it's genuinely in the public interest

Extra marital affairs are not.

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Mnthrowaway20202 · 30/05/2020 00:30

I think you need to provide further detail

If there’s a pending prosecution, you going to the press could jeopardise the process. Everyone has the right to a fair trial, the culprit won’t have that if the details have been plastered over the local press prior to court will they? You don’t want them getting off over this do you?

If the police are taking no further action, perhaps there’s more to the story than you know. By “exposing” them, you actually open yourself up to a libel civil suit. Defamation claims are rare but are warranted in the case of mass media attention. The defence to libel is the truth, but how can you prove the truth without evidence, particularly if the police have taken no further action?

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HappyHammy · 30/05/2020 00:31

Have they been charged or found guilty of a crime.

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bonsaidragon · 30/05/2020 00:32

The police have already been involved with the heinous thing.

Then keep out of it, it's been dealt with and is none of your business

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AriettyHomily · 30/05/2020 00:32

I would be very careful about what you divulge on here. It's a public forum. If it's a police matter go to the police. If it's salacious gossip I'd keep quiet.

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