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€200. Should I have offered more?

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Pugwash1 Fri 29-May-20 16:19:11

I was making some dog scarves the other day and the sewing machine was playing up. I asked a neighbour on another boat to take a look at it as she is an seamstress. She came aboard, had a look, thought it might be the way the spool was being wound on and after trying herself declared the machine to be old and knackered (which it is to be fair!). I thanked her for looking anyway and told her I was buying a new one machine in a couple of weeks when we have a hire car. She insisted on getting her machine despite me saying not to worry. She got her 1 year old, fully electric, all whistles, €400 sewing machine, plugged it in and blew it up. She said she always uses a transformer on her boat, she didn't bring it and the power on our boat (same as hers) was too much for the American sewing machine hence it died. I was mortified and so apologetic and she dismissed it as her fault. Since then (2 days ago) she has been posting pictures on Facebook of the dead sewing shop machine. Every time I see her she says how sad she is about the sewing machine. How everything is "shit" because her sewing machine is dead. She does have another industrial one onboard but I completely get why she is upset. She was having a siesta today when I took over €200 to her DH. He said not to bother but I said I'd feel better for doing it. I left it on the cockpit table so he didn't see exactly how much it was there and then. He thanked us, came up and took it down below. I've since seen her and she hasn't mentioned it at all. I am worried she thinks we should have paid for the whole thing. She is German and we speak in Spanish so some things definitely get lost in translation but not much. We live in a really small community so thought paying half would be a nice gesture and keep life nice and easy. Now I'm wondering if they were expecting the whole amount.
YABU: Stump up for the whole thing you miser.
YANBU: You have paid enough.

OP’s posts: |
Duckyneedsaclean Fri 29-May-20 16:22:00


But what are dog scarves??

Sexnotgender Fri 29-May-20 16:22:02

I think what you’ve offered is fair. She insisted on bringing it and despite using a transformer usually she didn’t use it this time. It was all her doing.

Duckyneedsaclean Fri 29-May-20 16:22:27

And it was her fault.

howlatthetrees Fri 29-May-20 16:22:58


Nottherealslimshady Fri 29-May-20 16:23:00

I don't think you should have given her money. She might be feeling quite embarrassed and guilty. It was her fault and she said that. I'd kinda feel a bit like a charity case if someone did that. Sorry :/

GrimmsFairytales Fri 29-May-20 16:23:04

I think you were bonkers for paying €200, when she was entirely to blame for breaking it.

Don't pay anything else, you've already been far too generous.

Perisoire Fri 29-May-20 16:24:47

I think this is on her and I don’t think you should have paid her. If you had said yes to her bringing the machine then yes, but it sounds like she wouldn’t take no for an answer?

SummerHouse Fri 29-May-20 16:24:56

I think you have paid too much. Are you sure she has the money? Lovely gesture though. Are you in some kind of floating Eurovision sewing contest? You community sounds very interesting.

Longdistance Fri 29-May-20 16:26:53

You did a lovely thing op. You weren’t to know about needing a transformer for her American sewing machine.
She might be feeling a bit embarrassed.

gamerchick Fri 29-May-20 16:26:58

It was her fault. You did a nice thing OP.

Don't think about it anymore.

Veterinari Fri 29-May-20 16:27:35

It was her fault - she knew it was an American machine that needs a transformer and chose not to use it

gamerchick Fri 29-May-20 16:27:42

Its cool you live on a boat and make dog scarves. So random, it tickled me. Cheers man grin

3cats Fri 29-May-20 16:29:29

I am also more interested in the community. Boats, dog scarves, international friendships. It sounds interesting.

It was entirely her fault. She made an unfortunate mistake. You really don't owe her anything. It was very kind of you to give her that money. I'm sure she can buy a lovely sewing machine with it. Please don't think about it anymore.

StarShapedWindow Fri 29-May-20 16:30:06

I think your gesture is lovely and you don’t have to worry about if she thinks you should have paid more because it wasn’t your fault and paying half is a very nice gesture.

heartsonacake Fri 29-May-20 16:31:27

YABU. You shouldn’t have paid her anything at all; it’s wasn’t your fault.

LaaLaaLanded Fri 29-May-20 16:32:40

I don't think you needed to give her any money.

If you could provide photos of
1) a dog scarf, preferably with a dog
2) the view from your window

it would make a lot of people happy!

Takingontheworld Fri 29-May-20 16:33:00

Dog scarves and living on a boat has really made me chuckle. I'm sure your life isn't as crazy as I'm imagining it grin

Pipandmum Fri 29-May-20 16:36:47

These things happen. You didn't do anything wrong so I don't think you owe her anything. She knew about the power thing so it was her fault. But you've given them the money now and she should be very grateful.

Cornishmendoitdrekkly Fri 29-May-20 16:48:08

YANBU. You have made a lovely gesture. I would stop worrying about it as I don't think that you have done anything wrong and in fact, have been generous with your payment.

JayAlfredPrufrock Fri 29-May-20 16:52:40

A small but delightful glimpse into someone else’s life.

WeightGate Fri 29-May-20 16:55:22

This one feels a bit like what the post might be if I dreamt I was reading Mumsnet.

TheLashKingOfScotland Fri 29-May-20 16:55:55

I don't know. If the language barrier means you're not sure what she expects, presumably the language barrier might have impacted on what happened with the machine eg perhaps she thought you'd said the electricity supply was ok; or perhaps she asked if you used a transformer?
I wouldn't have automatically offered more but I would try to have a chat about what happened. Although I'm not sure where you are that social distancing and lockdown isn't in place any more...

whatsleep Fri 29-May-20 16:56:33

Maybe the husband pocketed the money and didn’t mention it to his sleeping wife!

Persiaclementine Fri 29-May-20 17:02:21

I dont thinknyoubshiuld have payed anything, she broke it

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