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AIBU to stay in small house?

(100 Posts)
Ajtraceyliveanddirect Thu 28-May-20 22:40:48

We bought of first house about 5 years ago. It is a typical "starter home", two bedroom period property but is like a tardis.

I feel societal pressure to 'upgrade' to a larger home, even though we have no children. I do look but larger homes in my area and in our budget are modern and we prefer old homes. There are a few things that aren't ideal but we have poured so much love (and money) and we are proud of our home. We have good neighbours and are in a central location.

But I keep getting asked when we are moving to somewhere bigger and I feel embarrassed that we aren't, and don't want to. We would essentially be doubling our mortgage for a third bedroom we don't need. Logically, it makes sense, so why do I feel like everyone is judging us?

Has anyone stayed in their first home?

OP’s posts: |
Lovetoridemybicycle Thu 28-May-20 22:44:54

We haven't started in first home, we are staying in second though, but we have 2 kids. We have watched various friends move from our size house into bigger ones. We paid off our mortgage at 40, they are still going and will be until they are 65. They struggle with money at times, we have lots of disposable money. Depends what you want.

Moomin12345 Thu 28-May-20 22:44:55

Nothing wrong with that, no one is gonna repay that mortgage for you.

TheLightSideOfTheMoon Thu 28-May-20 22:45:21

Disengage from the people who keep asking.

How dare anyone make you feel like that anout your home.

TweetUsOnFacebook Thu 28-May-20 22:45:44

Why worry about what other people think? Your home sounds perfect for you right now. There's always the risk if you move you could end up with shitty neighbours. Stay put!

OwlinaTree Thu 28-May-20 22:47:02

Is this people's roundabout way of asking if you are going to start a family maybe?

PickAChew Thu 28-May-20 22:48:09

Nah. Ignore them. If you're happy where you are and it's affordable, much better to stay put, know you're fairly secure and build up some savings and/or enjoy things a larger mortgage would make unaffordable.

magicmallow Thu 28-May-20 22:48:27

I think you need new friends!!!

magicmallow Thu 28-May-20 22:48:42

... not a new home!

NotNowPlzz Thu 28-May-20 22:49:53

Tell them you love your home and want to stay. End of.

ToLiveInPeace Thu 28-May-20 22:50:01

Think of all the other things you could do with your money if you can stay with a smaller house and mortgage. I'd be saving for earlier retirement. I don't want to tie up all my money in housing and I don't care what people think.

MrsOfBebbanburg Thu 28-May-20 22:50:49

But I keep getting asked when we are moving to somewhere bigger

That’s really rude!! Why would they assume you want a bigger house? Rude! None of their business anyway.

Please don’t feel embarrassed or pressure to move OP. Honestly. Your small home will be so much more affordable for you in retirement or if one of you can’t work for any reason. You’ll be so glad you haven’t over stretched yourself.

ICouldHaveBeenAContender Thu 28-May-20 22:51:28

If you feel you need to say something, tell them the house is perfect for you, you've got it just the way you want it, and, if you really want to say more, tell them you are looking forward to paying off your mortgage in X years.

Or just nod and smile, shrug and change the subject.

Namaste6 Thu 28-May-20 22:53:48

A two bed period property that's like the tardis sounds like the perfect home to me. Stay where you are and enjoy every moment of it. Do not bow to societal pressure. How ironic that these very individuals will most likely get to a point where they'll crave the opportunity to downsize. The next time anyone mentions it, ask them if they've heard of the tiny house movement. Now that's small!

TW2013 Thu 28-May-20 22:54:30

Is it parents? I don't think that the older generation always get that big houses cost more than they once did. Just practice your serene face and say how happy you are there. Move when you want to not because others think you should. If property prices drop you may be able to get a cheaper house than you would if you had been trying to move now.

doodleygirl Thu 28-May-20 22:54:35

I don’t really understand this. What do you mean by societal pressure? Who really cares what kind of house you live in?

Want2beme Thu 28-May-20 22:55:03

No, stay in your lovely home. It must be so nice to feel comfortable and have a house you love. I live in a big house, but am planning on moving to a much smaller one and I can't wait.

Elieza Thu 28-May-20 22:57:16

25 years I’m still in my first home. Stay.
They’re just jealous your mortgage will be paid off before theirs!

Ajtraceyliveanddirect Thu 28-May-20 22:58:42

Thank you everyone, I was starting to feel really alone with it all. We bought it young and have done lots of work, we also get "why are you doing x?" fairly often because apparently it won't add value, I just say I'm not trying to add value, just create a home that's perfect for us!

OP’s posts: |
magicmallow Thu 28-May-20 23:00:54

maybe politely point out that you are very happy in your home, have no wish to upgrade, and when people ask you why / when it is a little upsetting? If you do it politely they might get the message.

StillCoughingandLaughing Thu 28-May-20 23:01:56

I have a decent-sized two-bed flat. My mother has asked me quite a few times if I’m sure I wouldn’t like to move to somewhere bigger. Around here an extra bedroom could cost me £70 - 100k which, given I already have a spare bedroom, seems a hell of a lot for space I don’t even need.

I think you’re right in that there’s an element of it being equated with success. But if you’re happy where you are and it suits all your needs, you HAVE been successful. I know if I had extra space I’d probably just buy more things to fill it, whether I really needed them or not.

Oly4 Thu 28-May-20 23:03:02

It depends. We’re in a larger home and will be paying our mortgage until we’re 60. Which is fine as we both love our jobs (fingers crossed for good health). But we have disposable income on top of this to do other things.
I personally like the know I can downsize in retirement and free up substantial sums if I want to for travelling/helping the kids with house deposits and so on.
Are you saving separately? That would make a difference

Ajtraceyliveanddirect Thu 28-May-20 23:03:43

It does often come from people older than us, though not our parents, people around the same age (most recently from work). The people in question both live in 4 beds (two in each family at home) so I guess they can't imagine it.

OP’s posts: |
BeatrixPottersAlterEgo Thu 28-May-20 23:10:30

Yanbu. Some people are ridiculous about this. We bought our house because we wanted to live in it, but the amount of "well done, good investment" comments we got. It's not an investment, it's our home. We have kids and I foresee a few years in the future when it'll feel squished, but it really won't be for long and then DH and I will remain. The mortgage is tiny and I'd rather own it outright - I'm a worrier and the security of knowing we can pay for the roof over our heads on one small wage is worth all the ensuites and utility rooms in the world

MamaGee09 Thu 28-May-20 23:10:34

We still live in our first 2 bedroomed home, we’ve split the big bedroom in to 2 rooms and added a window and are managing just fine, ( yeah we have small bedrooms) our mortgage is due to be paid off in 6 years and everyone keeps asking us why we don’t move to a bigger property!

We are quite happy where we are, our teenagers are uni age and could ‘flee the nest’ at any time so what’s the point of a bigger house and bigger mortgage?

We have 2 different family members who have just moved to new build and have. 25 years left to pay of their mortgage..... no thank you!

Do what suits you!

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