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Aibu about bad zoom etiquette

(146 Posts)
Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:26:40

Will preface this with “I know times are unusual etc etc”.

However - I always work from home (not covid related - have done so for years). And a huge majority of my meetings are conducted online.

However am starting to get a bit fed up with people deciding to do any of the following

- speak to their children throughout
- decide to answer their phone - WITHOUT muting
- wonder off

And all manner of other things you just wouldn’t do in a normal meeting

It pisses me off as meetings are taking twice as long as they need to, and while I’m happy and friendly enough to say hello to your child/dog/cat whatever at the start - it shouldn’t then interrupt.

Aibu to say that, while having a booked meeting you should be fully present?

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Aubergined Thu 28-May-20 22:29:34

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3922433-AIBU-to-think-my-boss-is-being-unreasonable-about-hearing-my-kid-in-the-background

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:30:31

@aubergined - I know... it inspired this thread (but not a taat). Think there were different issues in that one tbf.

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Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:32:06

I was thinking more about group meetings - not so much an ad hoc one to one.

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georgialondon Thu 28-May-20 22:32:08

It must be annoying but it is so hard for example for me to ignore my toddlers who are in the same room as me for 50% of my working day and therefore half my meetings.

SecretSpAD Thu 28-May-20 22:32:49

Yep, you're right. Have seen it all in the last few weeks. Fed up with waving to children and ahh-ing over pets (love dogs and have one but he stays out of zoom meetings). Has been interesting seeing the lockdown hairstyles though!

pictish Thu 28-May-20 22:35:07

Well people are stuck at home with their kids who are stuck at home, no school, nursery, childminders etc. What would you have them do? Leave them unsupervised?

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:35:14

@georgialondoni think maybe I’m thinking about it differently as these aren’t internal meetings that I’m on.

Internal meetings I think I’d have a bit more patience.

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TheBitterBoy Thu 28-May-20 22:35:24

I think the second and third items on your list are bloody rude and would be under any circumstances, but the children thing is tricky, because people who work from home in normal times wouldnt be trying to work and manage their children at the same time.

tinatsarina Thu 28-May-20 22:35:55

I think yabu. Like you have said times have changed for the moment not everyone can have their children distracted for the meeting. However the phone issue and wandering off yanbu they are being rude.

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:36:13

@pictish no I totally get it.. but ffs leave the room and mute yourself.

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Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:38:47

I think I made a mistake with mentioning children in the post! I meant more that people are just acting like a meeting online isn’t important, now warrants the same attention.

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pictish Thu 28-May-20 22:39:14

Toddlers don’t give a shit about your meeting you see? And no amount of explaining to your three year old that the Smith account is very important and that they must sit still, not touch anything or make any noise for the duration of the meeting will make a toot of difference.

What’s your suggestion?

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:42:32

@pictish my suggestion is the mute button. I get it, I really do, but I’m not arguing about the fact that people are struggling.

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Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:43:47

I’m suggesting that - just like in work - if an emergency comes up - you leave the room and attend to it elsewhere rather than disrupt the whole thing.

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NuovaMoi Thu 28-May-20 22:46:53

I think it’s hard to get kids out of the room. But it’s bad etiquette to not use the mute button.

I also don’t think some people realise how much background noise can interfere as it does sometimes feel louder to people you are zooming than it does when you’re there in person

GazingAndGrazing Thu 28-May-20 22:49:17

My manager asked me to thank my family for letting me use our family home as a base to work for him during the pandemic.

I can only sit in the kitchen so drinks are made, lunch is prepared and DC and pets do their thing around me.

We are all doing the best we can. That said, I’ve not had any DC or pet join my very boring zoom calls as yet.

I find it much more ridiculous that we have to have a cocktail at the ready and wear a hat to our Friday 4pm call, ffs

BubblesBuddy Thu 28-May-20 22:50:33

We joined a zoom presentation given by travel journalists last night and one of them wandered around whilst the others were talking. We could see all six of them. It was extremely annoying. Not only that, she preened and threw her head around like Miss Piggy. She kept rearranging her long hair. Even if she had something interesting to say, DH and I were very annoyed by all this activity. Different rooms, in the garden, standing up, lounging in a chair, opening and closing a window - I would rather have a toddler around!

Gwenhwyfar Thu 28-May-20 22:50:53

"It must be annoying but it is so hard for example for me to ignore my toddlers who are in the same room as me for 50% of my working day and therefore half my meetings."

Yes, but just mute yourself when you're talking to the children.

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:51:56

Based on these answers maybe I am being unreasonable. So I need a bit of a solution really

I’m basically at the moment pretty much a freelancer. I offer things like training and consultancy (usually it’s a bit different).

I’m scheduling in day a half day training course at a set cost - because of interruptions etc I’m not getting the courses done in their allocated times (and I give myself a lot of leeway.)

So perhaps instead of Aibu - it’s more wwyd?

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Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:53:54

I’m also having genuine strategy meetings for clients (and with my staff) where people are like the above - wandering off, taking phone calls without muting themselves etc. I’ve always worked online but it’s like because people are at home - no rules apply.

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JosephineDeBeauharnais Thu 28-May-20 22:55:54

In my world it’s the clothing, or lack of it. It’s not acceptable to do a zoom call in your bra /bikini top / boob tube with acres of cleavage on show. I don’t care how hot it is, just pop a t shirt on for the duration of the meeting ffs.

Timinfuckingruislip Thu 28-May-20 22:57:02

@JosephineDeBeauharnais haha I have a shirt that I’m throwing on over the strappy sunbathing vest!

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Coffeeandteach Thu 28-May-20 22:57:28

I had an informal meeting with about 15 people last week and someone was having a jog with their camera and mic on 🤨 Someone had to ask her to turn them off because we could not hear over the panting 😂

MintyMabel Thu 28-May-20 22:58:03

People aren’t working from home, they are being forced to work away from their office whilst also dealing with things like childcare. Funnily enough, you can’t always book time away from small children just because someone thinks that zoom meeting is vital. If you don’t have any childcare, you do what you can but something has to give and it isn’t the five year old, it’s the adults who presumably aren’t so thick they can’t deal with an interruption.

Answering a phone in a meeting and wandering off is standard practice in most physical meetings I’ve been in. Those people are just rude and would be that way if they were in the same room as you.

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