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AIBU to send son back to school - WWYD?

(4 Posts)
youcantchoosethem Thu 28-May-20 18:39:37

13 year old DS with complex needs including coordination issues, reflex retentions, ADHD and asthma (not severe - just preventer twice daily and occasional ventolin) has an EHCP (level 4) and is at a small school - when full around 100 pupils. I also have asthma (again preventer and occasional ventolin) but also 7 years ago had organ distress and failure including liver, kidneys, internal bleeding, nervous system shutdown and two cardiac arrests. Much healthier and fitter now (it was caused by a rare infectious disease) but do get asthma attacks from time to time and have Internal scarring. Didn’t get a letter - although original gp when all that was going on has left and don’t think the new one knows me at all. My sons school has offered him to go back 2 or 3 days a week - will be small groups but they are always quite touchy feely in his usual group and am concerned that it increases our risk. I also work mainly from home and am very full time and then some as a key worker (I run a charity providing mental health and education for vulnerable adults - currently all online and phone) and don’t have time to spend masses with my son for his education as well as look after all the work priorities and feel really torn and feel like I am failing him as I should be prioritising him but also have safeguarding responsibility for 300 vulnerable adults - 80 of which are really struggling with anxiety etc with the current situation. 9 tried to commit suicide in the last year. WWYD? Would you take up the offer or keep him shielded? Really torn...

OP’s posts: |
Bringmewineandcake Thu 28-May-20 18:45:04

Would he get any benefit from going in?

sd249 Thu 28-May-20 18:48:17

How is he? Is he struggling?

You are not letting him down by not spending the whole time with him, almost no parents of 13 Year olds will be doing that, you are doing your best and that is all anyone expects of anyone right now. It sounds like he is very safe at home and that is what is important.

If he is fine at home (even if he is playing on xbox / not doing as much work) I would keep him there. When I am looking after children like your son all students have to be 2m apart and it is really not nice for them. Also they aren't getting actual lessons as it is just childcare.

youcantchoosethem Thu 28-May-20 20:00:24

The first couple of weeks he tried hard on his school but it has diminished a lot and the week before half term was a nightmare trying to get him to do anything. He had the option to go to another school 25 miles away as he has an EHCP but decided against that. He isn’t capable of travelling independently with a bus change and I couldn’t get him there and back but this is now back at his normal school so much more realistic in travel. He does crave some social interaction but hasn’t gone out otherwise apart from occasional walks and a couple of small bike rides but at least he’s safe x

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