Is my “friend” a cf?!

[Bellsandwhistle]

She keeps forcing her DD on my DD to play now lockdown eased and my DD is okay with this some days but it’s every day now which means she can’t call round to other friends as this other girls always there. The other friends aren’t that friendly with this girl and she is quite full on. She keeps turning up and I can’t say much when we are clearly at home and not going anywhere. Yet my “friend” is having lots of socially distanced coffees and drinks on her garden and doesn’t ask me round. The few friends she has round are all good friends of mine too indeed I’ve known them all for many many years more. So AIBU to feel ducked off and used for my daughter and that she isn’t really my friend?! Feel pissed off with this but also that I may be being unreasonable and more than a little childish. Would you be fucked off?!

[AnnaBanana333]

If you don't want her daughter round, you say no. She isn't at fault for asking.

[MouthBreathingRage]

Umm, lockdown hasn't eased to the point where your daughter can meet up with friends. Why are you allowing it?

[Flowersinthewild]

How old are the girls?

If the girl turns up at your door you need to send her home even lie and say your dd is meeting another friend and due to social distancing and meeting only 1 person she can’t go as well.

[Spied]

Yes, I'd be very ducked off.
Just tell her you are following the guidelines and social distancing so not to send her DD round.
As you should be

[ItsNotJaneFonda]

No YANBU - If I was you - or even your DD by the sound it it - I wouldn't be happy with this situation. 'Full on' so called 'friends' can be annoying. In your case, if you can see her entertaining others then I can understand you feeling put out at not being asked round.
Yes, I'd be fucked off.
However, how do you know that her DD is being 'forced round' by your friend and she's not calling of her own volition.?

[Naicehamhun]

What kind of lockdown rules are you following because not a single one of them mentioned playdates with other children.

[Divebar]

How are play dates happening at anyone’s house? (because you’re not telling me kids are maintaining social distances) Essentially you’re pissed off because you’re not invited to drinks or coffee with the other mum.

[highmarkingsnowbile]

She keeps turning up and I can’t say much when we are clearly at home and not going anywhere.

WTF? It's your house, you can't say much? Stop being a doormat. Girl turns up, 'Sorry, but we're not entertaining today, you'll need to go back home.'

[Stannisbaratheonsboxofmatches]

I guess the dds can meet at the park in the same way as adults can if they socially distanced and are old enough to go alone. Is that what you mean? I have to say, my dd has had a couple of park meet ups with a pair of twins - even though that’s too many people it seems fine to me common sense wise - they sit over 2m apart and are old enough to do this alone.

But I agree you should just say no when she comes round. Not much you can do re the adult meet ups, annoying as it may be!

[heartsonacake]

YABU. You shouldn’t be doing any of this because lockdown hasn’t eased to the point of visiting other households.

[pilates]

You’re only supposed to see one person and socially distance from them outside eg in a park.

[Perisoire]

She isn't at fault for asking.

Of course she is, and she’s not even asking, it’s bloody rude to send her daughter around every day.

OP, put your foot down and say no. The lockdown doesn’t mean she should be coming to your house. I doubt your dd and this girl are keeping 2 metres distant?

[AnnaBanana333]

You can't rant and rage that someone is a "CF" when you meekly accept whatever they want. You say no and send the child home.

[Bellsandwhistle]

Girls are 12 and go out for a walk round the village. Can only see one person and that’s why my DD then can’t go round to others houses to call and see if any one of them wants to walk. I hate lying so haven’t said she’s not here when she is. I feel used though as the mum wants is all to be great friends when it suits her dd but then leaves me out of adult meet ups. Once she had a party for her daughters bday and invited mutual friends and their kids then texted me on the day to say send d’s round. No come on round yourself or invite in advance. That’s why I feel fucked off. She can not be that friendly with me if she wants - her choice - but happy to keep pushing her dd on mine. My dad has a lot of friends and I know she pushing to get her dd included via mine.

[66redballons]

Tell the girl no. You are the adult. You need to set a example for your own dd. Don’t be doormat!

[pilates]

I think you need to separate your daughter’s friendship with yours and the friends mum. They don’t go hand in hand.

[SunbathingDragon]

Just say no. Lockdown hasn’t been lifted either.

[FilledSoda]

Is the daughter just showing up or is her mother checking with you first ?

[HopeYouStepOnALego]

You don't have to lie and say your DD isn't there. You just say she has plans to do something else and can't go out with this other girl today.

[combatbarbie]

Lockdown or not, she is a CF and I'd be inclined to tell her that. You need to stand up to people like this or they will continually walk over you.

[Pinkblueberry]

I think you’re both BU for not followings the pretty straight forward new guidance - meet one person, outside, remain 2 meters apart. Why are you having play dates??

[lyralalala]

Stand up for your daughter.

[HUCKMUCK]

You don't have to lie and say DD is out. Just say it isn't convenient or your dd has other plans. No need to explain or justify. You don't owe her anything.

If your DD wants to see her, let her carry on and let the 'friendship' with the Mum fizzle out.

[saraclara]

"sorry, DD can't come out as she has other plans today. Bye!"

[highmarkingsnowbile]

Jesus wept! Get a backbone. Don't lie. 'We're not entertaining today you'll need to go back home.' 'We have other plans today you need to go back home.'