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To think SIL is rubbing it in?!

(33 Posts)
Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:12:33

SIL is pregnant. Husband has developed some COVID symptoms and so whilst he is awaiting test results, she has gone 1.5hrs away to isolate in her parents annexe. Thankfully they’re only mild symptoms but I think they’re right to be cautious and so am on board with her going to isolate there.

Since she arrived she has been flooding the family WhatsApp with photos of her hanging out with her parents. I should say that they are always socially distancing & outside, but things like having drinks & meals in the garden together and having a film night whilst she sits at the patio doors etc

AIBU to feel like she is rubbing it in a bit?! I would LOVE to be able to see my parents and am really missing them. I don’t begrudge her seeing her parents at all, but I think she could be a little more sensitive to the fact that all of us are missing being able to see loved ones, so having multiple reminders each day that we can’t do that is hard. I think she should scale back the photos but AIBU?

OP’s posts: |
Destroyedpeople Thu 28-May-20 00:16:34

Yes you are being unreasonable. I doubt she is thinking about other people any more than the restof us do when posting stuff. Why should she? If you want to visit people please do so.

NameChange84 Thu 28-May-20 00:17:32

Yes I think YAB a bit U. She’s not doing anything wrong. Could you mute the group if it upsets you so much?

BumpBundle Thu 28-May-20 00:19:00

YABU. Her joy doesn't make your life any worse and you just sound bitter. Maybe she's bored being almost on her own a lot of the time? Maybe she's posting so you all know she's ok?

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:19:15

I can’t visit as I’m in Scotland and we’re not allowed to do so yet, plus family in England

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Destroyedpeople Thu 28-May-20 00:21:36

Oh not allowed not allowed.....I doubt the police would stop you at the border.

DocusDiplo Thu 28-May-20 00:22:06


MrsOfBebbanburg Thu 28-May-20 00:22:38

Oh stop being so silly!

GrumpyHoonMain Thu 28-May-20 00:22:55

My sil has this reaction whenever I post anything to do with my family - she sees it as a judgement on her. It’s exhausting and I eventually stopped sharing anything on the shared whatsapp group.

frazzledasarock Thu 28-May-20 00:23:36

She’s probably bored of having to sit apart from them, at patio doors whilst they’re curled up on the sofa?

So she’s taking look how much fun I’m having pictures.

If you find it upsetting don’t look.

Generally I take what’s posted on social media with a pinch of salt.

Hope your husband is OK and recovers soon.

NameChange84 Thu 28-May-20 00:26:16


I think it’s the pregnant SIL’s husband that’s got the Covid symptoms. Poor woman is probably just trying to take her mind off the worry.

frazzledasarock Thu 28-May-20 00:28:25

Ah sorry I misread.

Well then she most likely is doing it to keep herself distracted.

I’d really stop looking at the messages and mute the chat.

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:32:05

Yes it is her husband, not mine. Thankfully it is very mild at the moment & hoping it stays that way.
I probably am being over sensitive, probs because lockdown hasn’t eased yet up here, so I forget that it’s now more normal for people to be socialising down south. I also sadly don’t have a bladder the strength of Cummings so would not manage the 12 hour round trip to my parents!

OP’s posts: |
DamnYankee Thu 28-May-20 00:34:36

It's not personal. Not about you at all.
Don't look.
I'm sure she's missing her DH, feeling vulnerable, hormonal, uncertain about how long this will last, and possibly thinking, "Oh, sh*t, did I do the right thing?"
She's not poking the bear. Just trying to make the best of a bad situation.
I'm sorry you can't see your family, though!

CannonCaboodle Thu 28-May-20 00:35:39


strugglingwithdeciding Thu 28-May-20 00:36:06

If her husband has symptoms shouldn't she be self isolating ?

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:36:58

Thanks @damnyankee - good perspective!

OP’s posts: |
lyralalala Thu 28-May-20 00:38:49

I wouldn't be getting jealous that someone has been daft enough to go to their parents when she has potentially been in contact with someone with Covid. She should be isolating, not having garden film nights with a new household

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:41:22

@strugglingwithdeciding @lyralala so I initially thought that too but was shouted down by DH that it’s ok because they’re socially distancing 🤷🏼‍♀️ I guess that kind of makes sense.

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BumpBundle Thu 28-May-20 00:42:25

@lyralalala If she watching the film through a panel of glass from outside like OP said she is then she's not "in contact" with anyone...

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:43:59

@bumpbundle the door was open...but I feel like maybe we’re splitting hairs

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Destroyedpeople Thu 28-May-20 00:45:15

I know it's difficult times for everyone but be honest were you going to make that 12 hour round trip anyway?
Just let her get on with it....

CoachBombay Thu 28-May-20 00:45:34

I thought first household member isolates for 7, then the remainder must isolate for 14 and then can go out if not symptomatic. If other household member becomes symptomatic at say day 11 they must then self isolate for 7 days.

She should be in a 14 day isolation of I've got it right.

I may be wrong though.

Who knows anymore....just use your instinct!

Couchbettato Thu 28-May-20 00:45:36

I usually think that if someone is serially posting their life goings-on (not just the occasional one offs), and they're trying to make their life look really nice and happy, they're putting a barrier up about something that they don't want the rest of the world to see.

I agree with pp, she's probably hormonal and scared and dreadfully misses her husband, but she's just that way inclined to make it seem like she's having the time of her life.

If you've got a close relationship it might be worth having a chat and just asking how she's feeling. I've just finished my maternity leave but if I were pregnant or had just had a baby in a pandemic I'd feel really lonely and want someone to check up on me too.

Oxmama Thu 28-May-20 00:49:14

Thanks @couchbettato - you’re right, I do have a close relationship with her and the first thing we did when she told us what she was doing is check in to see how she’s feeling about it all. But you’re right, I should probably give her a bit more grace.

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