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AIBU?

Confederate Flag Flying

215 replies

PineapplePrincess · 26/05/2020 21:19

Neighbour has started flying a Confederate flag today.

We are a mixed raced family, and I’m feeling a little unsettled by this. They are generally nice people, although we don’t tend to spend much time in their company. They perhaps don’t understand the impact flying the flag would have.

Don’t think I would say anything (altho’ DH May feel differently). But is it unreasonable to feel slightly offended?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

288 votes. Final results.

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You are being unreasonable
11%
You are NOT being unreasonable
89%
MorganKitten · 26/05/2020 21:25

I’d be very uncomfortable by this, I’m from London but worked in the Deep South USA and had issues.

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SachaStark · 26/05/2020 21:28

Oh dear, we are also a mixed race family, and I wouldn’t like that at all.

Where do you live, OP? Are you in a US Southern state?

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YouJustDoYou · 26/05/2020 21:29

Mixed race family here and British though even I know the horrific history behind that disgusting flag. Ydnbu.

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PineapplePrincess · 26/05/2020 21:30

We’re in the UK. And they are definitely not Americans. That’s why I’m quite confused.

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NotAgainNo · 26/05/2020 21:31

Is this a coincidence or a response to something? That's what I'd like to know to be able to tell if they're nice people. Why now? How long have you lived as their neighbour?

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Iflyaway · 26/05/2020 21:32

Yes, I would be really uncomfortable about this. And I don't even live in US. thank fuck

I have a mixed race son.

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NotAgainNo · 26/05/2020 21:33

@PineapplePrincess

We’re in the UK. And they are definitely not Americans. That’s why I’m quite confused.

Gosh! Assumed it was America. That's worrying then.
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SachaStark · 26/05/2020 21:34

God, do you think there’s any chance that they don’t know what that flag signifies??

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Iflyaway · 26/05/2020 21:34

You're in the UK??! That makes it even weirder.....

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KenDodd · 26/05/2020 21:35

Are you in the UK?
If they're nice, as you say, I'd have a word with them about it. If you are in the UK it's highly likely they don't know the history and would be mortified if they knew. If I didn't know it's history and somebody told me I'd me really grateful. They might think it's a state flag or something.

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HappySonHappyMum · 26/05/2020 21:35

Would like to think they're as thick as two short planks and have it up because they're fans of the Dukes of Hazzard Hmm

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AdoptedBumpkin · 26/05/2020 21:36

I think for some people it represents rebellion? I've seen people wearing Confederate symbols as a kind of fashion statement.

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JohnnyMcGrathSaysFuckOff · 26/05/2020 21:36

I think a lot of British think of it as a statement or an indie/ alternative marker without quite realising the history.

Where I grew up, the Confederate flag is basically saying "I am a gun toting white supremacist and fuck you" so I was absolutely astonished to find it being used on t shirts, car bumper stickers etc over here.

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Stripesgalore · 26/05/2020 21:36

This happened near me in the U.K.

It is bizarre and I don’t understand why people do it.

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Lordfrontpaw · 26/05/2020 21:41

I’d ask ‘what’s with the flag?’. Someone near up was flying the Jolly Roger for a while, then the yellow smiley face. God alone knows why. They are American. I’m not certain but I don’t think the confederate flag is quite such a red button issue as it is in the US. But anyone with two eyes would know the issues.

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Troels · 26/05/2020 21:43

Maybe someone needs to explain to them about it being racist.
They might be daft enough not to realize but I thought everyone knew.

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Quackersandcheese3 · 26/05/2020 21:44

In the uk? How odd.
I’m in a mixed race couple too and it would make me uncomfortable too.
Are they heavy metal fans ?

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TSSDNCOP · 26/05/2020 21:46

I would start by betting they haven't a clue what the flag represents to very many people.

I would hope, that if that was pointed out to them they'd take it down.

Knowing though how the mortally stupid react if challenged though OP, I'd probably be more inclined to give your local PCSO a nudge.

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kenandbarbie · 26/05/2020 21:52

I wouldn't think they realise. I think people in Uk just associate it with country music. It would make me uncomfortable though. I wonder what the law is in this respect.

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PineapplePrincess · 26/05/2020 22:05

I’m hoping they are just oblivious to the history of the flag. As I said they seem pleasant enough and never knowingly had issue with us.

She is slightly eccentric (quirky dress sense and brightly coloured hair - which I think is fun btw - not a criticism) and I think he Is maybe is into motorbikes (could that be related to the flag - it there a Harley Davidson link?)

DH is a bit upset and threatening to say something. Not sure it would end well, and we have to continue living next to them. We’ve not had any issues with them in 8 years we’ve lived side by side.

Just worried what the kids will think. How do explain to them, without upsetting them?

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KenDodd · 26/05/2020 22:12

DH is a bit upset and threatening to say something
I'd be really grateful (and mortified) if someone told me what it meant. I struggle to believe anyone would fly it over their house in the full knowledge of it's history. It'd be like flying a nazi flag.

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NotAgainNo · 26/05/2020 22:12

He should definitely say something but in a non-confrontational way though. Give them the benefit of doubt first.

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kenandbarbie · 26/05/2020 22:15

I wonder if you could just report them? To the council? Or police? I don't know, is it a hate crime? If you could do it that way it'd be easier as you'd be anonymous.

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justanotherneighinparadise · 26/05/2020 22:16

I think you could be quite clever in the handling of this if you tread carefully. Is there a way you could warn them that by flying the Confederate flag they are potentially attracting an attack on their home as they could be perceived as racist? If you approach it in a concerned way as opposed to a confrontational way you might get them to remove it not for you, but to keep themselves and their property safe.

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BGD2012 · 26/05/2020 22:16

I saw bikers with the Confederate flag last week. Maybe there is a connection?

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