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To end a friendship over this?

(53 Posts)
ACNH Tue 26-May-20 20:55:16

Sharing the contents of a text message conversation between you with at least 2 other people, one of which you don’t know?

I’m talking about screen shorting and sending it to them.

OP’s posts: |
BagItAndBinIt Tue 26-May-20 20:59:25

YES I would end it unless this had definitely been agreed for some reason between you and them before they actually did it. YANBU

WilheldivaHater Tue 26-May-20 21:00:03

I would be livid, sounds like the friend was gossiping and tbh I wouldn't want to be friends with someone who did that to me.

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 26-May-20 21:00:25

What was it about?

ACNH Tue 26-May-20 21:04:32

@ThroughThickAndThin01
What would you think would be an acceptable subject to do this with?

OP’s posts: |
wenhen11 Tue 26-May-20 21:08:58

To be honest i would see this as a big betrayal of trust and you would be right to end the friendship

Washyourhandsyoufilthyanimal Tue 26-May-20 21:09:58

Depends on what the messages said? Personal and private information then yes that’s not on but it it was just general then I wouldn’t end it
Over that alone

DrManhattan Tue 26-May-20 21:11:02

Depends on what the message was about

FattyIDingAsThinny Tue 26-May-20 21:11:37

The only way I can think it would be ok-ish (I'd have words but not end the friendship) would be if she was saying to these other people how kind and wonderful you were. I can't see why she'd need the screenshots in that case (who asks for proof!).

Anything else and you probably do t need to end the friendship because she's not really your friend.

CinnabarRed Tue 26-May-20 21:13:10

Depends on the messages.

I once got a text from a friend who said she’d meet me at quarter off the hour. Didn’t know what that meant, so asked some people at work, by showing them her message. Don’t feel I did anything wrong there.

crispysausagerolls Tue 26-May-20 21:13:41

If it is something hilarious I wouldn’t have a problem. Or something interesting eg “look at my friend’s amazing breakfast here she sent the recipe”. There’s actually a fair few examples I can think of which wouldn’t be nefarious. Depends entirely on the context

Littleyellowfootball Tue 26-May-20 21:14:03

Yes and I have. It’s gossiping plain and simple she tried to dress it up as something else but she knew it was wrong.

PolPotNoodle Tue 26-May-20 21:14:32

"I just met Rod Stewart outside Scunthorpe Gregg's!" - ok to screenshot and share

Anything personal or that you've confided, not ok.

Littleyellowfootball Tue 26-May-20 21:16:28

For context I was meaning about atmosphere in office and my good friend sent to her good friend (I knew a little) to say ‘yellow’ struggling too as she was having a bad time.
As a msg fine but too screenshot my comments and send - not acceptable.

Littleyellowfootball Tue 26-May-20 21:17:05

Moaning not meaning!

RumbaswithPumbaas Tue 26-May-20 21:17:28

If it was a joke or a meme maybe, like forwarding on something funny/lighthearted that no one would mind about, but sharing a private conversation definitely not ok.

How did you find out? Do you want to end the friendship or would you rather speak to friend and give her chance to explain?

ProseccoBubbleFantasies Tue 26-May-20 21:20:51

Irritatingly vague op

GeraltOfRivia Tue 26-May-20 21:23:38

What did she share?

ThroughThickAndThin01 Tue 26-May-20 21:23:47

I think there are many acceptable subjects. Your review of a local restaurant. A fabulous new shop you’ve discovered etc.

Samtsirch Tue 26-May-20 21:25:17

It would depend on what the message was and why the friend shared it.
Also how did you find out, did the friend tell you she had shared it ?
All of these things would impact on my decision to end the friendship or not.

Idododoidadada Tue 26-May-20 21:34:01

What would you think would be an acceptable subject to do this with?

A million and one things -the dog going to the vet, exhausting day at work, what I’m having for tea, DC being a PITA, DH being a PITA, how much shopping is costing, a moan about the recycling not being collected, a rant about the pharmacy fucking up... I mean I can’t think of a single thing I’ve shared in the last few years that I would feel anything other than 🤷🏼‍♀️ About anyone sharing a screenshot with a friend about.

I’m guessing whatever you sent that has been shared is pretty serious-I’m not minimising that- but, without context, for us with a very boring life, it’s bit hard to understand what the actual drama is.
I’m sorry your friend is shit though, it must be very hurtful if they have shared something personal/important.

Raella50 Tue 26-May-20 21:35:26

I wouldn’t be bothered - unless it I was a a screenshot of something personal?

3luckystars Tue 26-May-20 21:37:31

Screenshot it to us here and then you will be even.

LycraLovingLass Tue 26-May-20 21:40:39

I agree that ot depends on the context but you are entitled to end a friendship for any reason you like.

ACNH Tue 26-May-20 21:43:51

Ok so to add another layer to it, what if you specifically said you didn’t want one of the people to know what you said?

Yes she sent me back a screen shot of that reply and then told me another person’s thoughts on it.

OP’s posts: |

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