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To tell you how hard I'm finding WFH

(17 Posts)
YeahWhatevver Tue 26-May-20 08:42:50

DH is a key worker and is out of the house 3 midweek days one week, 4 midweek days the next. We've got a 7 and 10 yo who are doing OK with home schooling but still need a lot of help and I have the ever visible, ever present home working set up in the spare room.

I just feel like I can't escape it, I wake most mornings now with a sense of absolute dread at having to try and juggle work and schooling. I completely resent my work for taking over my home space and I've begun to really have negative associations with the upstairs of our house because it's where my work is.

I'm definitely beginning to see a deterioration in my mood/motivation, I'm experiencing a chronic melancholy that I just can't shake off.

I know there's lots of people out there who are suffering, who have lost loved ones and who are much worse off than me, but for the moment I just can't find the resolve to get through another week.

DH has just left for work, the kids are getting themselves sorted out for the day and all I want to do is crawl into bed and pull the covers over my head.

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Bargainhuntbore Tue 26-May-20 08:59:05

I know where you are coming from. Ive only been WFH for 4 weeks and i hate it. Its tedious. Wake up, work 7:30 in the kitchen, in my dressing gown🤦🏼‍♀️, have coffee, stare out the window, about 10 i decide to get dressed. No make up. DH ambles though sometime between 9-10. (He took voluntary redundancy last year and cant find a job esp now) and potters. He fucking potters all day much to my annoyance. I tend to finish my work about 2pm so i do have the rest of the day free.

Kids are older but I have one in yr 7. Not much school work coming through. Its boring.

I love getting dressed, make up, chatting in the kitchen at work, banter, walk round town at lunch time, etc etc.

Im in wales so still locked down. Are you in England? Looks like thing are going to open up very soon!

Teacher12345 Tue 26-May-20 09:02:34

It is very hard going OP. Could you book some annual leave and have a few days off?

BigBairyHollocks Tue 26-May-20 09:04:45

It’s crap, tedious, lonely and even harder when also homeschooling kids. I feel your pain. Can you take a sick day (or 5?)

Mintlegs Tue 26-May-20 09:06:35

I am struggling with the homeschooling and work. I can’t do both. I wish the school would do some zoom teaching occasionally. I recent found out that some other local schools are doing this

Womencanlift Tue 26-May-20 09:10:05

Agree with taking days off. We are being encouraged to take our days (due to our holiday year cut off we need to take all of our annual allowance by August) so most of us are working 4 day weeks right now to use up our days

It is helpful to break up the week and because everyone is doing it then it is accepted. I have felt it has worked for me to get through the monotony of wfh

I agree though about negative associations as every time I look at my dining room table I just see work and it’s really not a good feeling

Polly111 Tue 26-May-20 09:10:28

That sounds hard. Could you adjust your work hours so that you work when dh is home, then you’re not trying to do everything at once?

YeahWhatevver Tue 26-May-20 09:10:38

I'm in Scotland. Our phasing of relaxation is quite a bit more drawn out.

Have always been very strict on the home/work priorities. Historically I don't mind my job but I've always had my home as an antidote to work, somewhere completely separate and now I'm basically living at work.

Just feel like now that I'm in week 10 of working from home there's no balance to it, work is pretty much as it was, 40 hrs a week same as before but now there's nothing to counterbalance it. Feels like the work life balance in terms of the quality (not quantity) of time has gone from 40/60 to 90/10.

I've had periods of ups and downs like everyone but this is totally different I'm really sad and demotivated and have been like this for weeks and weeks.

Tried to raise it with my boss last week and as sympathetic as he tried to be the overwhelming theme was "well we're all in the same boat and you'll jut need to get on with it"

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YeahWhatevver Tue 26-May-20 09:13:03

I work in a place where annual leave is well organised across the team to ensure coverage and most people's leave is booked in for the bulk of the year by February. Work are resistant to people trying to amend their time off already booked as it begins to have knock on effects with other people's leave.

I'm off the first 2 weeks in July (which feels like an eternity away)

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Ledkr Tue 26-May-20 09:16:40

mintlegs i agree. There is a huge discrepancy between what schools are providing. We barely hear from dds teachers and any fedbaxk has a delay of 2 weeks. They both have young kids but so have i and have to do my job. A bit of zoom teaching woukd be very welcome.
I like working at home as it cuts off my horrible commute but its so hard with kids around and my dh is working as usual in fact more than usual (police) so i am constantly alone.
My advice would be to ease up on school work for now.
I set fun online stuff while i work but allocate at least an hour for 1 - 1.
I am concentrating mostly on learning time tables which we chant on our daily dog walks.

HeadSpin5 Tue 26-May-20 09:16:41

I totally understand- same boat here. I’m not Prepared to just completely sack off the home schooling but to wfh effectively, Id have to. Or do a half-arsed job of both. Have tried splitting hours etc but that simply isn’t sustainable long term. I’ve limped along until now by using annual leave a few days a week and now it’s half term which is easier - but again, not a long term solution.

I know others have it harder but your world shrinks and it’s v hard to see a way out.

k1233 Tue 26-May-20 09:17:38

I know how you feel. Luckily in Australia our lockdown hasn't been as bad. After a few weeks working from home, when I started to feel like you do, I went back to the office. I now do a mix of in the office and at home. I find that to be good.

Wfh all the time just had work intruding on my "me" space and that got to be too much.

HeadSpin5 Tue 26-May-20 09:23:06

I was able to wfh two days a week pre lockdown and whilst I think we will be wfh ft for a while, I’m hoping the previous arrangements will apply.

StCharlotte Tue 26-May-20 09:30:07

I love getting dressed, make up,

Do this. I'm in week 10 and have carried on with my morning routine. It's made me feel "normal".

chatting in the kitchen at work, banter, walk round town at lunch time, etc etc.

Yeah, I miss that too.

MaternitySpongeBob Tue 26-May-20 09:33:25

I completely resent my work for taking over my home space and I've begun to really have negative associations with the upstairs of our house because it's where my work is.

i can really, really identify with this!!

SRS29 Tue 26-May-20 10:37:36

OP yes I agree it's tough....WFH and kids home schooling etc. I find it helps that I always get dressed, a bit of lippy and a spray of perfume...worth a try? smile

YeahWhatevver Tue 26-May-20 10:50:58


Might help more than the hoodie and joggy bottoms ensemble I'm currently going for 😬

Thanks everyone, its nice to actually vent and hear other people are hating it too, while I've spoken to DH about it a bit I don't want to offload it all onto him as I know he's toiling too and I'm trying to put a brave face on it.

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