Name changed as DH knows my username and sometimes reads my posts.
When did you realise you were being emotionally abused and what made you realise? After how long and what did you do about it?
We have been together over ten years and married for less than 6
We have a DD who is nearly three.
I noticed an odd pattern of behaviour right back when we first started dating and always went against my gut at the time and shrugged it off.
When we fell out, he would do his utmost to either stop me from seeing friends or to come with me so I didn’t talk about him.
He knows the passcode to my phone (usually, but I have changed it today to see if or when he notices)
He declares he shouldn’t have to do things for me and then will refuse to put DD to bed so I have to cancel any plans I made that night.
The other day, he purposely provoked me in the living room in front of DD. Brought up a minor argument we had and had a go at me for something relatively minor. He knew I would get worked up. At one point he was in my face, I knew he wouldn’t hurt me but I think he was trying to get me to hurt him? anyway, when I started to raise my voice he started to tell me over and over again that I was disgusting. I asked him to leave me alone and stop following me because I wanted to calm down. Instead, he followed and started telling me I look ridiculous and pointed to the mirror and said I should ‘look at’ myself. He then said he was embarrassed to go in to the garden with DD because what would the neighbours think of me and how I reacted?
This behaviour seems to come up every now and then and I can’t work out why. What is he trying to achieve? Why am I such an I confident person now when I never used to be? Is it his fault or is it coincidence and these are just ‘normal couple arguments’
I don’t know what is normal anymore and being cut off from people in lockdown doesn’t help as it’s hard to talk to anyone... he is always in the house!
Thanks for reading.
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AIBU?
When and how did you realise it was emotional abuse?
11 replies
Isitornot · 25/05/2020 20:00
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
8 votes. Final results.
POLL
You are being unreasonable
0%
You are NOT being unreasonable
100%
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