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For thinking this mum is a bit precious over her daughter

(20 Posts)
MamaMaiasaura Thu 20-Sep-07 16:23:10

Background is that ds is friends with this ladys dd. I would say as mums we get on, say hi etc. Before summer break kids saw a fair bit of eachother but both of us been busy and the kids have grown apart although friendly with eachother still. The little girls mum however does tend to brood over what other people say/do, I know this as she has chewed my ear about others and I have listened.

Since kids been back she has been a little off and has commented to another mum how I dash out of playground. Basically I have been very busy with life stuff so not been hanging around. Anyway we had a chat this morning, nothing deep just chit chat and all seems well.


I went to collect ds from school (forgetting he has after school club blush) and this ladys daughter runs up to me saying ds has got a smilie face turned over today in a rather gleeful manner (not good to have smilie face turned over btw and ds has never had one turned over before). I said, please dont tell tales, I will let ds tell me.

Turns out the 'whole' class had them turned over. The girls mum comes marching over asking what problem is, I said no problem and recounted what was said. She got really shitty and said her daughter told her that she had told me it was the whole class.

Tbh I dont understand her attitude as I didnt reprimand her daughter at all. She is in a complete mood now and I am at a loss what to do. I dont count her as a close friend and tbh I dont really want her as one. I dont want an atmosphere tho and wouldnt want her dd and my ds not play together because of this.

ChipButty Thu 20-Sep-07 16:25:05

She needs to grow up. Your kids can still be friends at school but this woman sounds like excess baggage to me - time to ditch her, I say.

LadyVictoriaOfCake Thu 20-Sep-07 16:26:32

tell her to bog off. her dd was clearly telling tales.

cornsilk Thu 20-Sep-07 16:27:31

Her child is a tell tale and she is a gossip. Let them get on with it.

tigerschick Thu 20-Sep-07 16:28:49

Rise above it.
Continue as you have been doing and let her make the effort to be nice to you.
If she doesn't then so be it.

tissy Thu 20-Sep-07 16:29:44

I suppose it depends how you said, "please don't tell tales" really. If you seemed cross to the little girl, then it's not unreasonable for the girl to tell her Mum.

If your ds has a reputation for being good, then it is "news" that he had a smilie face turned over, even if it was a class punishment, could you have misinterpreted the little girl? I doubt if she was being spiteful.

I would back off from the family. The children will probably make up beofre their parents do.

pyjamagirl Thu 20-Sep-07 16:29:46


wheresthehamster Thu 20-Sep-07 16:34:21

There's something about being in the playground that makes some mums regress to being children again themselves. They can't see the big picture, they assume everything said out of their earshot is a dig at them, little incidents become huge that gnaw away at them sad Stay away!

MamaMaiasaura Thu 20-Sep-07 19:21:30

phew, justr got back to this thread. THank you for all you replies. Managed to speak to DP about this too as he knows lady in question and he reassured me too. I think tomorrow i will smile and say hello as if nothing has happened and leave it at that. I am so glad i dont count her as a friend iykwim as feel i would be alot more upset. (also moving asap so even better grin )

morningpaper Thu 20-Sep-07 19:24:30

Well I probably wouldn't have said anything to the girl except "oh really? I see" or something and would have left it at that - some mums are ARSEY about other people telling their kids off and this is one of those situations where you don't NEED to tell her off (she was hitting or anything)

but she is obviously a bit of a sensitive mum and overreacted - but loads of mums do that

MamaMaiasaura Thu 20-Sep-07 21:17:32

I didnt tell her daughter off shock or didnt think i had. I was nice and calm, and said please dont tell tales, I will let ds tell me about it.

tori32 Thu 20-Sep-07 21:22:38

Sorry did you say this lady was a teenage mum of 13 and still at school in the playground herself!!FFS! She needs to get a grip!

Rachmumoftwo Thu 20-Sep-07 21:30:23

She may not like the phrase 'telling tales', as I know I actively avoid using it with my children. Even so, she still shouldn't have got so shirty.

mylastrolo Thu 20-Sep-07 21:50:25

she sounds like nightmare women i know whom i avoid like the plaque now wink no seriously i do avoid at all cost.

collision Thu 20-Sep-07 21:55:04

I dont think i would have said to the girl 'dont tell tales, I will let ds tell me' either.

I would have been more likely to say, 'Oh dear, I wonder what happened. Ds will tell me in a minute.'

I think you are being a little OTT really.
Am not sure I would like someone telling my ds not to tell tales and I am by no means a touchy mum.


2shoes Thu 20-Sep-07 22:11:29

yanbu I don't think what you said to the child was wrong. some parents just can't bear anyone to not think their dc's are perfect

WotsZePoint Thu 20-Sep-07 22:16:33

2shoes I agree. I have stood before and said "well I know my dd is not perfect" expecting a similar reply.

But instead I have got a "well mine is" look.

Hummmm don't think so!

Just leave her to it, you didn't say anything out of turn. You are there to collect your dd, not to gossip with a child!

MamaMaiasaura Fri 21-Sep-07 09:55:53

I saw her today in playground, I very cheerily said hello. She said hello back. Then about 2 minutes later said sorry about yesterday and that she would have texted me but was worried i wouldnt respond. All sorted then

WotsZePoint Fri 21-Sep-07 13:45:02

Well that's good news. Glad it is shorted out.

FWIW I usually rush into the playground with a fraught rabbit caught in the headlights look, as moments before I would have been at work and I'm not ready for playground chit chat...(still thinking about work mode, takes a while to switch over) luckily the mums in the playground know this now and don't expect too much from me!

They are very kind and know I am slightly bonkers!

WotsZePoint Fri 21-Sep-07 13:45:22


mean sorted...der!

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