AIBU or is OH bedtimes and computer games

[Woodmarsh]

I know the title suggests teenage boy but OH is 38! He has always gamed online with friends but a few months ago before lockdown he started to use a headset to talk to them too, over lock down this has increased which is understandable.

My issue is that it is becoming more often that I go to bed and OH will stay up till between 1am and 3am drinking and gaming, he is shouting to his friends and even singing which keeps me awake. When he eventually stops he will fall asleep on the sofa for an hour before coming to bed anywhere between 4am and 6am and waking me again.

We have had a few arguments about it but he says its his right to play with his friends. I guess it is but my argument is that he does it for at least an hour a day whilst I'm cooking tea and my sleep shouldn't be dictated by him.

So AIBU? If it makes any difference we are both still working full time from home office hours

[LouiseTrees]

So I think it’s wrong if he’s keeping you up and he doesn’t have to drink every night. My husband stays up to 12.30 max then comes to bed. He will occasionally drink on the weekends. He will come up earlier sometimes too, like maybe 30 mins behind me and the baby. He does everything quietly and I know he would do this even if we didn’t have the baby. It’s not about “letting him game” because he’s already been doing it during the day. It’s about the impact it’s having on your sleep. He should respect you more. Your husband seems to have two addictions.

[Shoxfordian]

He shouldn't be shouting or keeping you awake with it, that's very inconsiderate of him

[NaviSprite]

I'm a gamer and prefer to do so at night (my toddlers are in bed then so I get the chance!) but I'd never dream of letting it impact on my DH's sleep. I do it quietly, don't use headsets anyway (just headphones so the noises from the game don't disturb anybody).

If your DH wants a mutual gaming/drinking session online with his mates he should arrange this for a decent time during the daylight hours and not impose it on you. Utterly inconsiderate and selfish of him. I'd take this as him having no respect for you if he can't see he's in the wrong here.