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AIBU?

I think he’s cheating

15 replies

OntheWaves40 · 24/05/2020 23:16

Been with my fella around 12 months, don’t trust him but don’t trust anyone to be fair so I try to ignore the warning signs to avoid being paranoid however it also means I can’t tell when someone is cheating as I ignore everything.
However today I went to boyfriends house, not been since lockdown and there were hair grips on his coffee table and bedside cabinet. I don’t wear them. His ex used to live there 5 yrs ago but they weren’t there before. Is he cheating?

OP posts:
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Am I being unreasonable?

21 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
19%
You are NOT being unreasonable
81%
Candyfloss99 · 24/05/2020 23:17

I'd find this quite suspicious. What did he say when you asked him about them?

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LilyMarshall · 24/05/2020 23:18

Or picking locks on an old tv show.
Or cross dressing.

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edwinbear · 24/05/2020 23:19

My hackles would be up too OP, sorry.

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BumpBundle · 24/05/2020 23:22

Why were you at his house during lockdown? Did you ask him about them - there could be a perfectly innocent explanation as hair grips are useful for tonnes of things. If you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him. If you can't trust anyone then you shouldn't be with anyone.

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OntheWaves40 · 24/05/2020 23:24

Ok I’ll just live the rest of my life alone then because I have a suspicious nature Bump

OP posts:
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Qwerty543 · 24/05/2020 23:29

And of course you asked him instead of a bunch of strangers, of which you are all hoping they will validate your thoughts

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Allinadaystwerk · 24/05/2020 23:31

Sounds suspicious to me

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Oxfordnono12 · 24/05/2020 23:35

I understand the trust issues. I've never had a positive experience with men. My issues carried on even when I met my husband. It has taken ALOT of hard work to get through them. But I know they are my issues NOT my husbands. I've learned and believe if someone is going to cheat on you, then they're gona cheat. You can never control someones behaviour only your own.



Anyway, have you spoke to him about what you found? I would say, there are men who dont cheat.

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PowerStruggle · 24/05/2020 23:36

What did he say?

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Bubblebu · 25/05/2020 00:23

Does he live entirely alone? Does he have any female family members who might have visited him before lockdown who might have used / owned those items? What type of hair grips were they (some kinds of grips can be used for different things and some are v plain and innocuous where others might be much more bling / suspicious)
How many were there (loads seems more suspicious etc) did he have a (female) cleaner before lockdown to whom they might belong? Does he leave random things around the place or is he a neat freak and these types of items look suspicious / out of place?
And finally... not being funny... but I am assuming he does not have long hair himself?? or is prone to use random alternative objects for other things (eg a hair band as a makeshift rubber band to bind up a box etc).

Subject to all the above the only thing is to randomly ask him - you could try in a casual voice "these are nice, are they yours?" or even "can I borrow one of these?" (watch his reaction).

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Sparklesocks · 25/05/2020 00:25

What did he say when you asked about them?

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CuppaZa · 25/05/2020 00:27

Did you question him OP?
Yes, it is suspicious. In fact I can only think of one reason why they would be there. Any other things amiss?

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OreoLife · 25/05/2020 00:35

This happened to me OP.

My ex had a girl round who left hair bobbles in the bed and bathroom...

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Winchking · 25/05/2020 00:35

Most people I know have had some sort of tidy up/clear out during lockdown. I would assume he's done the same and come across these hairgrips... then not known what to do about them as he's a bloke and doesn't know whether they are 2 a penny or so special in some way he should return them to his ex. While trying to decide what to do with them he's put them on the table and forgotten about them. So, my first thought is not at all suspicious. You will of course know better than I whether that explanation could 'fit' with him.

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TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum · 25/05/2020 01:16

Sorry - I hate to be "that" poster but you should not be visiting another household at the moment.

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