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I think he’s cheating

(16 Posts)
OntheWaves40 Sun 24-May-20 23:16:26

Been with my fella around 12 months, don’t trust him but don’t trust anyone to be fair so I try to ignore the warning signs to avoid being paranoid however it also means I can’t tell when someone is cheating as I ignore everything.
However today I went to boyfriends house, not been since lockdown and there were hair grips on his coffee table and bedside cabinet. I don’t wear them. His ex used to live there 5 yrs ago but they weren’t there before. Is he cheating?

OP’s posts: |
Candyfloss99 Sun 24-May-20 23:17:43

I'd find this quite suspicious. What did he say when you asked him about them?

LilyMarshall Sun 24-May-20 23:18:57

Or picking locks on an old tv show.
Or cross dressing.

edwinbear Sun 24-May-20 23:19:31

My hackles would be up too OP, sorry.

BumpBundle Sun 24-May-20 23:22:47

Why were you at his house during lockdown? Did you ask him about them - there could be a perfectly innocent explanation as hair grips are useful for tonnes of things. If you can't trust him you shouldn't be with him. If you can't trust anyone then you shouldn't be with anyone.

OntheWaves40 Sun 24-May-20 23:24:50

Ok I’ll just live the rest of my life alone then because I have a suspicious nature Bump

OP’s posts: |
Qwerty543 Sun 24-May-20 23:29:13

And of course you asked him instead of a bunch of strangers, of which you are all hoping they will validate your thoughts

Allinadaystwerk Sun 24-May-20 23:31:24

Sounds suspicious to me

Oxfordnono12 Sun 24-May-20 23:35:19

I understand the trust issues. I've never had a positive experience with men. My issues carried on even when I met my husband. It has taken ALOT of hard work to get through them. But I know they are my issues NOT my husbands. I've learned and believe if someone is going to cheat on you, then they're gona cheat. You can never control someones behaviour only your own.

Anyway, have you spoke to him about what you found? I would say, there are men who dont cheat.

PowerStruggle Sun 24-May-20 23:36:36

What did he say?

Bubblebu Mon 25-May-20 00:23:00

Does he live entirely alone? Does he have any female family members who might have visited him before lockdown who might have used / owned those items? What type of hair grips were they (some kinds of grips can be used for different things and some are v plain and innocuous where others might be much more bling / suspicious)
How many were there (loads seems more suspicious etc) did he have a (female) cleaner before lockdown to whom they might belong? Does he leave random things around the place or is he a neat freak and these types of items look suspicious / out of place?
And finally... not being funny... but I am assuming he does not have long hair himself?? or is prone to use random alternative objects for other things (eg a hair band as a makeshift rubber band to bind up a box etc).

Subject to all the above the only thing is to randomly ask him - you could try in a casual voice "these are nice, are they yours?" or even "can I borrow one of these?" (watch his reaction).

Sparklesocks Mon 25-May-20 00:25:21

What did he say when you asked about them?

CuppaZa Mon 25-May-20 00:27:13

Did you question him OP?
Yes, it is suspicious. In fact I can only think of one reason why they would be there. Any other things amiss?

OreoLife Mon 25-May-20 00:35:14

This happened to me OP.

My ex had a girl round who left hair bobbles in the bed and bathroom...

Winchking Mon 25-May-20 00:35:47

Most people I know have had some sort of tidy up/clear out during lockdown. I would assume he's done the same and come across these hairgrips... then not known what to do about them as he's a bloke and doesn't know whether they are 2 a penny or so special in some way he should return them to his ex. While trying to decide what to do with them he's put them on the table and forgotten about them. So, my first thought is not at all suspicious. You will of course know better than I whether that explanation could 'fit' with him.

TimeFlysWhenYoureHavingRum Mon 25-May-20 01:16:38

Sorry - I hate to be "that" poster but you should not be visiting another household at the moment.

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