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Fighting next door - should I call police?

(52 Posts)
onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 10:57:34

Big domestic argument kicking off next door. Middle age-ish couple having terrible shouting match with son (who doesn’t live there but I suspect has been visiting against lockdown). Not the first time. Seems to be son versus parents. Everyone always pleasant but I don’t know them really. Has happened before but not for a while. I worry for the woman’s safety – there’s also a younger daughter who does live there but no sound from her. They are in the garden but it’s hard to hear what’s really happening. Call police or leave them to it? They’ll know it was us (sigh).

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SnuggyBuggy Sun 24-May-20 10:58:12

How long has it been going on for?

Jazzled Sun 24-May-20 10:59:53

Why do you worry about her safety?

Merryoldgoat Sun 24-May-20 11:00:16

I have called the police several times in a similar situation and would do so again - I don’t care if they know it’s me.

GenerateUsername Sun 24-May-20 11:01:17

I’d say yes. If there was a big fight in the street I’d call the police. Why would the neighbours be any different?

Are you scared of them (if they know it was you?)

onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:01:53

About an hour. I worry for her because the husband is a big bloke and while I've got no reason, he scares me a bit. I think husband and son could come to blows and she could try and intervene and get hurt, rather than either of them attacking her.

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DonLewis Sun 24-May-20 11:01:55

Raised voices or actual hitting?

If you think someone is being physically abused, call the police.

If you're worried about someone's safety, call the police.

StillCoughingandLaughing Sun 24-May-20 11:02:33

Better safe than sorry. I called the police after hearing my neighbour being screamed at by her husband one too many times - but what really made me sure I had to was seeing their eldest son take his little brother outside and trying to distract him with the cars going by. The younger daughter might be in a similar position, depending on her age.

onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:02:57

Very raised voices lots of swearing and 'shut the fuck up' ing.

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onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:05:54

Stopped for the moment. Got door open to hear if it kicks off again.

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ScrapThatThen Sun 24-May-20 11:06:33

I don't think I would if she is not directly at threat (only indirectly) but I might monitor and review that decision.

GenerateUsername Sun 24-May-20 11:07:39

I’d definitely call then. An hour of shouting and swearing is pretty extreme. They might not just calm down and get it out of their systems IYSWIM.

GenerateUsername Sun 24-May-20 11:08:15

Cross-posted. If they start again, then call.

DFAMA Sun 24-May-20 11:08:32

You could call 101 and ask their advice, they will put you through to 999 if they think its an emergency

SnuggyBuggy Sun 24-May-20 11:09:18

I imagine things are more tense and stressed than usual in households these days but I'd trust your instincts here.

onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:13:58

I'll keep an eye. Yes it just occurred to me 101 can advise, if they start again I'll go down that route. It's shaken me up - more than I would have thought. As I say I've heard them before but I never thought police before - maybe lockdown is making it more worrying, I'm not sure.
I don't want to dob them in it if they can just work through tensions - nor make them think I'm the nosy old bat next door watching them (I'm not!).

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GenerateUsername Sun 24-May-20 11:43:49

OP it doesn’t make you ‘nosey’ to not want to hear screaming, yelling and swearing for an hour while you’re in your own home.

onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:47:40

No but I worry that the man might take umbrage and think I'm interfering - I'm a bit scared of him, as I say. It's gone quiet for now anyway. Last time was prob at least a year ago, it's definitely when the son's around.

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HowFurloughCanYouGo Sun 24-May-20 11:49:57

There's nothing illegal about people arguing.

They are just arguing.

You would be calling the police saying "next door are having a row. No there's no violence, but the husband gives me the willies. They are usually very pleasant though."

Literally nothing to report.

HelpMeh Sun 24-May-20 11:50:17

If they're doing it outside I'd tell them to shut the fuck up before I call the police. But I'm quite confrontational and have no time for other people's bullshit blush

elizabethh00 Sun 24-May-20 11:55:22

Just because her husband scares you due to size doesn't mean he scares her she married him ? There arguing people do especially now money's tight we've been trapped in a weird time zone if you hear screams fair enough but not for a loud argument

onalongsabbatical Sun 24-May-20 11:57:48

HowFurloughCanYouGo well, yes. But isn't that how women sometimes get hurt, because people turn a blind eye? I'm just trying to get a reasonable balance here. I think both men are capable of it turning physical and I think she'd then try and break them up - and get hurt in the process. Of course I could be completely wrong. That's why I started the thread, to get other people's thoughts.
If they kick off again and I'm concerned, I'll ring 101 for advice. That seems the most sensible thing.
I mean there's rowing, and then there's screaming 'I fucking hate you, I hate you both, shut the fuck up,' over and over and getting similar back. Can't tell what it's 'about' except possibly years of shit. 'You've ruined my life' - 'You've ruined your own fucking life' etc.
It's her and the quiet daughter I'm concerned about.

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HowFurloughCanYouGo Sun 24-May-20 11:58:17

If they only row once a year, they aren't doing too badly.

HowFurloughCanYouGo Sun 24-May-20 11:59:42

But isn't that how women sometimes get hurt, because people turn a blind eye?

No.

Turning a blind eye to a woman getting hurt, is how you turn a blind eye to a woman getting hurt.

Unless you have missed information out, there's nothing you have said that suggests the woman is being hurt.

Just a family argument.

Nanny0gg Sun 24-May-20 12:00:02

What's the worst that can happen if you do?

I'd rather err on the side of caution and ring, personally

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