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Maternity

(48 Posts)
Mamabear889219 Sat 23-May-20 17:46:20

At the minute all I keep seeing all over Facebook is people complaint and moaning that they are wanting their maternity extending (to a full 12 months with pay) and to be paid for by the government because they've missed out on going to classes (which is apparently what maternity leave is all about)
It can't just be me that thinks this is absolutely ridiculous, it's no one's fault that your maternity leave has happened at the same time as a global pandemic. Nobody can do anything that they 'wanted' to do. We just have to get on with it.

zscaler Sat 23-May-20 17:56:53

There have been ninety three threads about this already.

Sparklesocks Sat 23-May-20 17:58:41

If you use the search function you can find quite a few threads with some interesting perspectives on both sides

WorraLiberty Sat 23-May-20 17:59:25

It can't just be me that thinks this is absolutely ridiculous

Judging by the amount of threads on this, no you're not.

lemongrassmartini1989 Sat 23-May-20 18:01:21

It is a bit "first world problem", BUT I can understand why women are disappointed when the maternity leave you've waited for and dreamed of is snatched from you. I think I would feel the same as those women, and be very bitter.

Babyroobs Sat 23-May-20 18:03:52

I don't understand how the maternity leave is being snatched from anyone ? They are still off work. I think you could only have any reason to complain if the rest of your workplace had been furloughed and therefore off anyway.

Pinkblueberry Sat 23-May-20 18:03:54

This has been thoroughly discussed and from I know the petition was rejected. Save your energy OP.

lemongrassmartini1989 Sat 23-May-20 18:10:02

Snatched in that you will have plans to enjoy your maternity, going out and about, introducing your baby to friends and family, enjoying baby classes, coffee dates with friends, lunches etc. None of that is possible now. Most women will only get maternity once or twice in their working life if lucky, so can't blame them for feeling hard done by and want another couple of months to enjoy it all.

lemongrassmartini1989 Sat 23-May-20 18:12:43

I would be livid if on maternity and everyone was sitting at home anyway on furlough. That would be bad timing for maternity leave

PowerStruggle Sat 23-May-20 18:16:18

Everyone at my work is on furlough...so I’m a bit annoyed I have to use holidays and maternity, but it’s really not a big issue in the grand scheme of things. Block the people on Facebook if they are annoying you. People are complaining about everything at the minute but presumably this doesn’t actually affect you...so just ignore it? They won’t get extra paid leave, but even if they did what impact would it have on you?

lemongrassmartini1989 Sat 23-May-20 18:19:23

Like I said above it is very 'first world problems' . Would still leave me feeling a bit bitter though (however embarrassed I am to say that!)

Panda368 Sat 23-May-20 18:19:24

I feel more sorry for the women who are currently pregnant who are about to be made redundant before they even qualify for smp those are the ones who are really losing out here.

lemongrassmartini1989 Sat 23-May-20 18:20:47

Thats true @panda.

Never even considered that, how awful for those who will be going through that.

peperethecat Sat 23-May-20 18:22:03

I can understand why women are disappointed when the maternity leave you've waited for and dreamed of is snatched from you. I think I would feel the same as those women, and be very bitter.

They should remember that their child is alive and healthy and get a grip.

Covidpolice Sat 23-May-20 18:31:38

I would be livid if on maternity and everyone was sitting at home anyway on furlough

Why?

cornflakes86 Sat 23-May-20 18:37:11

I think it’s unbelievably selfish and self centred for women to want their maternity leave extended. I don’t understand the rationale to be honest. I am 39 weeks pregnant myself and I started maternity leave last week. I didn’t expect things to be the way they are but what can you do. People may lose their jobs and I’m sure many people are very worried about their finances. Asking for extended leave because you want to go to classes with baby or go for coffee seems ridiculous. My sister has a two year old who hasn’t seen anyone expect his own parents for months now, children of all ages are missing out on socialising. People cannot visit sick relatives in hospital or nursing homes. It’s not easy for anyone.

majesticallyawkward Sat 23-May-20 18:42:32

I think it's absolutely ridiculous the OP can't use a search function and felt the need to start a new thread.

New mums do not need yet another reason to be demeaned and called stupid or selfish. They need support, but because they are unlucky enough to be pregnant or have a baby right now they have almost none of that. They are worrying about money, job security, their physical and mental health, their baby, the logistics of having to return to work with no or limited nurseries, confidence on the floor and that's on top of the same everyone else is dealing with... but yes what awful, awful people.

Fuck me op

RainbowFlowers Sat 23-May-20 18:43:25

I've just gone on mat leave. If anything it will make me want to go back to work quicker since I've had a boring time stuck inside.

peperethecat Sat 23-May-20 18:51:00

They are worrying about money, job security, their physical and mental health, their baby, the logistics of having to return to work with no or limited nurseries, confidence on the floor and that's on top of the same everyone else is dealing with... but yes what awful, awful people.

Most of the things you've mentioned here are exactly the same as what everyone else is dealing with.

Ohtherewearethen Sat 23-May-20 19:00:39

...*but because they are unlucky enough to be pregnant or have a baby right now*...

Unlucky to be pregnant or have a baby right now? Get some bloody perspective. Millions of women have things a lot bloody tougher than the average UK yummy mummy who thinks it's appropriate to complain that their chance of going out to Yoga bugs and music with mummy, followed by expensive coffees with friends, has been snatched away and how terribly unfair it is that a large percentage of people are at home in furlough at the very same time as she'd planned to enjoy her maternity leave. Words actually fail me. There's not much else that is more entitled or self-centred than that. No one's life is fab at the moment, none of us anticipated this and we are all struggling and making do. It is weird for all of our children. Weirder, because they remember what if was like before. A baby doesn't want or need to be in a coffee shop. What the hell makes new mums believe they are any different or somehow special?

peperethecat Sat 23-May-20 19:18:44

Well said, @Ohtherewearethen.

I would bloody love to be on maternity leave right now, or at any other time, to be honest, because that would mean that I had managed to have a baby. Unfortunately all four of the babies my husband and I managed to conceive in the last year died in my womb.

A friend of mine had a preemie last year. You want to know what losing your maternity leave really looks like? Spending the first three months of it going to the hospital every day to look at your tiny intubated baby through the side of an incubator. (In a country where maternity leave is only 16 weeks and most women go straight back to work after that.)

Coronavirus is shit. It is. Nobody is saying that new mothers should be joyful about it. (Although if there is a silver lining, such as their partner being furloughed and basically getting a few months' paid paternity leave, or annoying in laws not being able to visit, then great.)

But it's shit for everyone. The government has had to spend huge amounts of money trying to make sure families aren't left penniless and trying to stop businesses from going bust. Many people have already lost their jobs and livelihoods, and there's probably a lot more to come.

People who live alone are really suffering mentally from the fact that they've had no face to face contact with anyone apart from the cashier in the supermarket for the last two months.

People in long distance relationships have no idea when they will next be able to see their partner. People who live far from their families don't know when they will next be able to see them.

People have had to cancel their weddings. Kids who have spent years studying for their GCSEs and A-levels have had their exams cancelled and don't know what that will mean for their futures. A whole cohort of people expecting to go to university in September are being told it'll be online only and they'll miss not only the teaching they're paying ten grand a year for, but also the whole social aspect of going to uni. 19 year olds who've spent the last six months working their arses off to save up to do some travelling before uni have seen their plans laid to waste and now they're sitting at home, unable to even work and save some more money.

People are dying alone in hospital with no loved ones by their side because visitors have been banned.

Women in their late 30s and early 40s who have been trying for a baby for years without success have seen their fertility treatment postponed or cancelled and are now terrified that by the time things get back up and running their window of opportunity will have closed forever, or that their treatment will no longer be funded because the NHS is broke.

The emotional and financial impact of this for everybody is on a scale that we have never seen before in our lifetimes. Our children will be paying for this in years to come through their taxes.

And yet some women on maternity leave want to add to that bill by demanding extra paid time off so that they get the chance to go to baby yoga. I mean, fuck me. Get some perspective.

Spanglebangle Sat 23-May-20 19:31:27

I am on maternity leave. I want an extension because I am scared for my baby. He has only ever met a handful of people before all this started and has no idea there are other people in the world. I can't begin to think how scared he would be if I turned up to drop him off at nursery and left him there. Also he has never been ill not even a sniffle and I am expected to send him to a germ filled nursery in a few short months with no immune system to speak of.

peperethecat Sat 23-May-20 19:43:17

How do you think women who have babies in war zones or refugee camps or countries where a high number of children don't live until their fifth birthday cope?

peperethecat Sat 23-May-20 19:45:33

None of those women are getting paid maternity leave, by the way. They're lucky if they're getting clean drinking water and vaccinations.

TheAugusta Sat 23-May-20 20:04:55

It’s not a race to the bottom. Just because women in this country have access to clean drinking water and vaccinations does not mean they do not have other worries about their babies. They can complain even though they do not live in a war zone. People are allowed to be sad their maternity leaves are not as they envisaged or concerned about nursery logistics and safety despite having the good fortune, denied to some, of being able to have babies. Or should we never be allowed to express worry because someone somewhere is worse off?

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