Page 22 | In-laws moving next door

(534 Posts)
Lotsofluv Sat 23-May-20 16:16:58

Just looking to see if anyone else would feel the same as I do about my in-laws moving to the house next door.
When the house came up for sale next to us my husbands parents showed interest, it needed renovation so I never thought them buying the house would happen (mother-in-law is very fussy).
Anyway, they did buy it and have builders in there doing the renovations while they still live in their current house. Once or twice a week they drive down (over an hours drive) to have a look at what’s been done. Am I being unreasonable to get pissed off about this? It’s just it disrupts my day as they expect us to go and say hello/make them a cup of tea, want to use our toilet etc. I know its not a massive deal but when I’m having a lazy day, no makeup, lounge wear on I just don’t want to entertain unannounced people. I’m really dreading them moving in, I’m dreading being out in the garden and them wanting a chat over the fence every time I’m out there.I like my own space and feel they are going to invade it. It’s making me want to split with my husband who I have a great relationship with, it’s making me resent him☹️..
Am I being unreasonable or would you feel the same?

OP’s posts: |
Trewboris Fri 05-Jun-20 17:32:10

Omg-my ex inlaws would have tried this. You're going to need a large fence, and a conversation with all involved, including your husband. This is an invasion of privacy at the least, a malicious power move at the worst. Don't let them tell you they're "helping you", or gaslight you any other way. Friendly but firm "you must call first - I am an adult, and honor my space". Good luck!

loveofbliss Fri 05-Jun-20 23:55:14

my suggestion: put the kids to bed, get a bottle of wine, watch Bad Moms, Christmas and take notes wink

SMB1128 Thu 18-Jun-20 17:53:12

Yes you are totally being unreasonable. Only in the western world is it normal for children to move away from parents. It stunts family wealth building. It's more ideal for multiple generations to live in the same home. Living next door is a cake walk.
Also, if you married into this family why would you feel the need to dress up when they come over? It doesn't sound like you get dressed up for your husband & kids on your lazy days, so you shouldn't for your other family members either. It sounds like you're just bringing it all on yourself in your head. There is no need to "entertain" your in-laws when they come, just like you wouldn't entertain your kids. Your putting that responsibility on yourself. Plus your nuts if you think your non-family neighbors aren't judging you for drinking wine in the sun outside AND then talking crap about it all to your other neighbors. That's even worse & more awkward. A sane person would wish they had a family member neighbor, that has their back in the neighborhood. Your story makes us feel sorry for the in-laws that their son married you, such a non-family oriented, uncaring person.

SMB1128 Thu 18-Jun-20 17:57:19

@Trewboris She's the ONLY one that it bothers. There's OBVIOUSLY something wrong with her. If I were her husband I'd divorce her first for the way she is acting.

loveofbliss Thu 18-Jun-20 18:56:34

What in the world??? hmm

Uknome Thu 18-Jun-20 18:58:55

I'd totally talk to the man, explain how you feel & go from there. Given its your inlaws..............oh no. Not right next door. If you're okay with moving, girl do it!!!!!

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Uknome Thu 18-Jun-20 19:07:55

If you would have told me that after ALL the abuse my mil has put on my kid's, their son, and our marriage......... I'd say something must be wrong with you.
My husband cant even talk to her. She just wont listen bc in her mind she is superior over him and I. Example. Whatever we want for our kids, she punishes them for it and tells them this, "I do things at my house the way I want them & you all do things at your house the way you want them." Do you know 1st hand what does to a growing child? I guess not.

CrackersAndCheesePlease Thu 18-Jun-20 19:09:13

Ahhhh!!! I could NOT survive this (in law's moving in next door!!)! I'd run far away!!shock

Nanny0gg Thu 18-Jun-20 19:41:04

Example. Whatever we want for our kids, she punishes them for it and tells them this, "I do things at my house the way I want them & you all do things at your house the way you want them." Do you know 1st hand what does to a growing child? I guess not.

What?

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