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Family member pregnant aibu not to employ her (details to follow).

(130 Posts)
Stanzasranza Sat 23-May-20 09:35:59

I need someone to help me in my small (side) business - basically to accept deliveries/package deliveries/take to post office etc as it’s too time consuming and my time could be better spent doing other things in the business.

These deliveries/parcels are heavy - would be expected to carry heavy boxes at least 6/8 times a day as well as driving to the clients to do potential set up/collection. Not my job but similar: fixing large office printers - I’ll do the fixing while I need someone to collect/deliver/set up as I’ve spent at least 10 years perfecting my trade/experience and not in the position to pay for similar experience. I’m looking at employing someone maybe 12 hours a week split however they want to either over 2/3/4 days - in mind I had either a college/uni student to fit around their studies with a bit more overtime when I’m able to accept more work as I’m not driving over the place.

I mentioned this to a family member in passing and he’s rang me up to tell me that his girlfriend is willing to start whenever I’m ready and when I said that I wouldn’t feel comfortable letting her lift the boxes from the car to the trolley he said that I’d need to support her with the lifting (therefore I’d also need to go in the car with her) and then I might as well do it myself. He’s rang my partner today (it’s my business but he’s probably more friendly with my partner) asking him to talk to me to see what we can do to accommodate her as he doesn’t want his GF lifting but feels ‘we should keep it in the family’.

AIBU to think he’s bit of a CF?

KitKatKit Sat 23-May-20 09:40:05

YANBU. I'm pregnant and wouldn't expect to begin this kind of work now.
I think it would be different if she had been in the job pre pregnancy, as I would then say "you need to make reasonable adjustments so she can continue to do her work".
But in this case they're definitely being CF.

wineandroses1 Sat 23-May-20 09:40:10

Yes, CF. Tell him straight out No, it doesn’t work for you. I wouldn’t spend anymore time discussing it with him.

MushroomTree Sat 23-May-20 09:41:45

I wouldn't either.

Firstly, you'd essentially be paying someone to drive you around whilst you did the lifting and setting up. What's the point?

Secondly, when she goes off to have the baby you'll have to pay someone else to replace her.

Lastly, what are you then going to do when she wants to come back and expects to go back into the job as it was before e.g driving around and no lifting? You'll be in the same position as you were before.

Sounds like a minefield.

Neepers Sat 23-May-20 09:42:10

Don’t entertain this for a second. Its CF now, so imagine the piss they could take in the future because ‘we’re family’.

Queenoftheashes Sat 23-May-20 09:42:54

That’s ridiculous

ThroughThickAndThin01 Sat 23-May-20 09:43:38

Don’t employ her.

mrsbyers Sat 23-May-20 09:45:00

Don’t get involved - and why can she not speak for herself ?

Aquamarine1029 Sat 23-May-20 09:46:12

I would be telling your family member that the answer is no and the discussion is over. If he's upset, so be it.

Cheeseycheeseycheesecheese Sat 23-May-20 09:48:07

She can't do the job, she'd need you to do part of it for her, so no, I wouldn't even entertain the idea.

SockYarn Sat 23-May-20 09:48:49

She can't do the job though. The pregnancy is a red herring - you need someone who can lift boxes. She can't lift boxes.

So no, don't employ her.

Piffle11 Sat 23-May-20 09:48:49

He wants you to pay her for work you’re going to end up doing. You’ll be basically doing the work, but with his GF in tow. Yes, he’s a CF.

pooopypants Sat 23-May-20 09:48:49

The job is unsuited for someone who is pregnant. Which she is. That would be like you employing me to repair printers - big fat no

YADNBU

pinkyredrose Sat 23-May-20 09:49:33

Keep what in the family? It's not a family business it's your business. She isn't capable of fulfilling the roles of the job so she's not able to be employed by you.

WhereYouLeftIt Sat 23-May-20 09:52:08

"... as he doesn’t want his GF lifting but feels ‘we should keep it in the family’."
The job is lifting, so he doesn't want her to do the job. His idea of 'keep it in the family' is that he be kept by family for no effort on his part.

It would be a 'fuck off' from me, I suspect anything more polite would just be met with wheedling and attempts to wear you down.

CareBear50 Sat 23-May-20 09:53:11

Total and utter CF

I'd just say it won't work for you. Also I'd never employ friends or family.....potential can of worms even if there was no pregnancy

AlexisCarringtonColbyDexter Sat 23-May-20 09:53:24

No- just use this excuse:

When someone is pregnant, every work place has to carry out a risk assessment. Tell him youve done this and it advises its too dangerous for her to do the job and there are no alternatives you can offer her. DO NOT give her this job, it will come back to bite you on the arse.
If she cannot do the job, she doesnt get it, its really as simple as that. You dont employ someone to do a job then do the job yourself.

LordEmsworth Sat 23-May-20 09:54:07

The only point where YABU is for describing someone as "a bit of a CF" when they have made the decision for you, despite the fact the person is unsuitable, decided your business is there for the whole family, and then when you said no - told your partner on you. It's like describing the sea as "a bit wet", or the sun as "a bit hot". Entirely, 100%, solid CF.

winewolfhowls Sat 23-May-20 09:54:30

To keep the the peace say that you are looking for technical assistance so need x qualifications or experience, even th you aren't. Therefore she is not eligible for the role.

CecilyP Sat 23-May-20 09:54:38

She may be willing to ‘start’ but she is not willing to do the job on offer. She wants to sit in the car and be paid while you continue to do job. Taking her on would be no advantage to you whatsoever. You need to be blunt with them. It is your business and you will employ someone who can actually do the job!

Hoppinggreen Sat 23-May-20 09:54:54

Several things
It’s your business, you decide who to employ, it’s not for someone’s boyfriend to arrange it with your partner
She can’t do the job

Cabinfever10 Sat 23-May-20 09:55:38

Agree with pp she is not capable of doing the job and as such not suitable for the role.

nonevernotever Sat 23-May-20 09:55:42

Another vote for do not go there. If you did agree I can guarantee this would only be the start of a whole pile more CFery

BacklashStarts Sat 23-May-20 09:58:14

To be honest I would say that I’m not going to be employing family full stop as it’s too fraught.

ScarfLadysBag Sat 23-May-20 09:58:29

CF! He doesn't get to decide who you employ!

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