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AIBU?

How has covid changed your life for the foreseeable future? What do you miss most?

64 replies

AbsentmindedWoman · 22/05/2020 22:51

I've been stressed about my medical appointments in the main. Thankfully, so far I've not had to miss something urgent. It's an ongoing background stress though, thinking about the second wave and impact of that.

But today I've also been feeling such a sense of loss for all the nice things we can't do. Meant to be flying back to my home country this summer to see everyone and for a special occasion at home, it won't happen, obviously I've known that for quite a while but for some reason it's really hitting me today. All the plans to see people, just will not happening.

Then all the lovely little parts of normal life like going to my yoga studio or out for dinner, or just taking the train to a nice place for a stroll and a coffee. I miss this stuff, as we all do, and it's so strange to be unsure about when we can do it all again.

What are you missing?

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1stTimeMama · 22/05/2020 23:07

It hasn't changed our lives at all really, apart from the children not getting out to their groups and classes. The only thing we're missing is having my parents come to visit, but that would've only been the once since lockdown so far, and going to the beach. Otherwise, we've enjoyed ourselves.

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Boulshired · 22/05/2020 23:13

I am missing time with my two older children, DS2 has no school or respite so I am getting no quality time with my older children. Looking forward to treating them when I get the opportunity. On the plus side they have grown close as they have kept each other company and have been extremely helpful.

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SummerInSun · 22/05/2020 23:15

I'm also in the position where the main thing I'm missing is my parents being able to visit from where they live (overseas, a long way away). But although we are largely having a nice time, I really do miss time to myself, even just the quiet 20 minutes with a book in my lunch break in a chain cafe. Love my DH, love my DC, but they are all HERE, ALL THE TIME!!!

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cardibach · 22/05/2020 23:22

Obviously I miss seeing friends and family but I’m hoping that will change soon.
Longer term, my hobby is singing in a choir and I’m not sure when that will be allowed again, never mind concerts. I also love going to live theatre and gigs. The loss of these things is very hard. I love travelling, but oddly that isn’t bothering me as much.

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Izzabellasasperella · 23/05/2020 02:17

I miss looking forward to things, no holiday to plan, no festivals, no gigs, no parties or even a night down the pub with friends.
I hope that doesn't come across as shallow as I know people are going through tough times.

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undercoveraessedai · 23/05/2020 04:14

My clients. Seeing other humans.

But on the plus side, zoom and no travel means I can lean fully into being a night owl - have just finished work for the day 😂

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Yearcat13 · 23/05/2020 04:31

I miss nothing. The stress of work is gone, I'm a teacher but can work from home, it's time consuming but doesnt compare to commute and class room management.
I live alone , so not missing company as I didn't have it in the first place.

After work, I have a cat, a great book collection and miles of beach on my doorstep.
I've been responsible for a mentally I'll sibling all my life and have been caring for an elderly parent.

Now both have social care in place and I cant see them.
It's very liberating. I dont miss colleagues, friends or family. If I want I can just ring them.

It's the first time in my life I feel free from responsibility.
I spend my days walking, reading, cooking. Once work is over.

I have no desire for normal life to resume.

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TazSyd · 23/05/2020 04:51

I really miss browsing in bookshops and then sitting in a cafe, drinking nice coffee and flicking through my finds Smile.

I miss yoga and body balance too. Tried doing them at home but get bored.

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daisychain01 · 23/05/2020 04:56

@AbsentmindedWoman if you dwell on things that you feel have been "taken away" from you, then you'll just make yourself miserable. If We allow ourselves to thing like that, then all it does is prevent people accepting that life has changed, and we have to move on to a different place.

I had 6 wonderful years of yoga in our local Community Centre, that stopped 2 months ago. So now our teacher has been running Zoom yoga and 12 of us get on the call every week, in our living rooms, and have adapted. We still get to enjoy the benefits of yoga and meditation, safe in our home, rather than risking getting the infection.

Work - I went into the office 4/5 days and now it's wfh. I miss all my colleagues, and the social aspects of work and the ease of sitting in a room with people over connecting via Skype which can be a faff. But I get the job done, so quite frankly it isn't worth getting het up about, Gym and swim, complete no-no for some months to come, so I've been on the bike and walking.

It's up to you how you decide to occupy your headspace with this stuff. It ain't going away, so thinking about adapting things you used to do, so you and yours can stay safe is a better way of expending energy imho rather than dwelling on things you cant change. In the grand scheme, having a coffee isn't as important as good health, we all have to compromise in life.

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rosie1959 · 23/05/2020 04:58

Well this week I am going to paint the kitchen I was to be going on holiday with my children and grandchildren it’s depressing
I have had to cancel holidays there is nothing to look forward to.
I miss so much just being to be with my family we meet at a distance but it’s not the same
Life is just so limited and quite frankly dull
Some people do seem to be enjoying it but with some members of my family being in serious danger from this virus I really don’t understand them

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Peridot1 · 23/05/2020 05:06

I miss my cleaner! Very shallow I know.

My day to day life is ok. We are pretty lucky. DH is retired. I don’t work.

DS is on a gap year but obv no travelling or anything fun happening. He is getting pretty bored.

More seriously my dad is in hospital in Ireland and I’m in the uk and obv I can’t go over. And nobody else can visit him either of course. And he’s terrified of picking up the virus in hospital.

I miss being able to meet friends for coffee or lunch. I miss pottering around the shops etc.

I miss my hairdresser. Not so worried about my roots but I got extensions in January to add volume and I’ll end up looking like Worzel Gummidge soon I think.

@Yearcat13 I envy you the beach. I’d love nice walks along the beach. And it sounds like a very welcome respite for you from responsibilities.

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DesignedForLife · 23/05/2020 05:20

I have no work and no income. It’s shit.

I started a business late 2018. I was forecasting good profit this year. Now all my contracts are cancelled or postponed for 18 months. I get no support from the government self employed scheme as my business is too new. I get no grants as I don’t have commercial premises. I highly doubt I’ll be able to make profit this year now, but I’m tied into contracts next year.

Also because I made a tiny profit last year I’ve now lost tax credits and they overpaid me so I owe them money.

I’m stuck on a tiny estate and only allowed where my toddler can walk. Which is the estate.

This sucks.

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Waxonwaxoff0 · 23/05/2020 05:49

Everything.

I'm furloughed, no idea if I'll have a job to go back to.

I normally see my family often, can't now.

I'm a very very social person, always going meeting friends, going out for drinks, taking DS on days out. All taken away.

I love to travel, no idea when we will be able to do that again.

DS is unhappy and needs to be back at school in a routine.

This isn't living, it's existing.

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Mintjulia · 23/05/2020 05:50

I miss friends and family and eating out. I miss the freedom to amble around town. I miss sitting in pub gardens on a Sunday lunchtime.

But ds and I have had lots of time together which is lovely. We spend more time outside, cycle together, talk more. This is my chance to be a sahm so I’m making the best of it.

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Spinakker · 23/05/2020 06:31

I miss dropping the kids off at school and picking them up hearing about their day. I do enjoy having them at home but not 7 days a week with not much to do. I miss the peace and quiet of when i was alone in the house and being about to plan things.i miss seeing my parents and myself and my kids being able to go to their houses freely. I miss the buzzing of the town we live in and being able to wander in and out of different shops. I miss being able to talk to people without standing 2 metres apart.

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echt · 23/05/2020 06:36

Knowing I probably won't be able to travel abroad for ages.

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SnuggyBuggy · 23/05/2020 06:42

I miss being able have visits with my family and my old uni friends. Didn't see them often but there was always something in the diary to look forward to.

Day to day I miss the things that gave me and DD variety, toddler groups, toddler class, playing in the park, softplay, going to cafes, looking at tat in the shops. Its fucking Groundhog day now as there are so few things to do.

I miss being able to go to the shop and buy different foods. Can't go in with a toddler or get an online slot. Have to wait and send DH. Obviously grateful to have food but meals are so boring now.

There is so little joy in life. I'm constantly checking my watch and hoping it's later.

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thatmustbenigelwiththebrie · 23/05/2020 06:45

My holiday has been cancelled but I'm genuinely not bothered as I'm a home bird anyway Grin I'm pretending to be disappointed to the friends I was meant to be going with.

I miss cafes and the cinema. That's about it.

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Tinyhumansurvivalist · 23/05/2020 06:47

As a key worker the only thing that has altered is my social life and not being able to see my partner as he lives elsewhere.

The hardest thing is not seeing him, he's having a really bad time from a mental health perspective, the lockdown and isolation has made him exceptionally depressed and I am very worried for him. I want him to take a break and come and stay for a few days to give him back some balance but he is sticking to the rules and slowly drowning in his own depression.

I desperately want them to allow households to mix so that he can come and stay.

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thenewaveragebear1983 · 23/05/2020 06:59

Our cancelled holidays are going to cost us a lot because despite having insurance, because we are cancelling in advance of gov advice by not paying the balance (going to France on August 1st) we won't be able to claim any money back from what we've paid.

I am very worried about my children's education and the situation when they Return to school. Our school are not making any contact with the children at all and have no plans to. We get 1x worksheet a day that's not marked or given feedback.

I am generally concerned about the winter season when virtually everyone has a cough or temperature at some point; will it just be 3 months of self isolation while we wait for tests as soon as anyone in the household has any symptoms?

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Oysterbabe · 23/05/2020 07:01

I kiss being alone more than anything else.

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linelgreen · 23/05/2020 07:05

In some ways it has changed for better shorter working days as no traffic, more money at end of month as most shops shut so no temptation. On the other hand for the worse no socialising, having to cook every night as can't eat out and my brand new car being stuck in a compound at the closed dealership I can see it if I drive past but can't have it until they reopen.

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okiedokieme · 23/05/2020 07:05

Everything! I was living with my dd during the week and going to my dp's for the weekend. Thanks to wfh I'm at dp's most of the time. Dd meanwhile moved in with her bf. We can't go out for meals, to the pub, camping, planned holidays are on hold, I can't find a job down at dp's because no one is hiring ... basically our lives are on hold. I'm thoroughly fed up and annoyed by those who seem to not care that it's affecting people negatively, some people seem to be enjoying this whereas it's torture to us.

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Chrisinthemorning · 23/05/2020 07:11

I miss DS being happy and carefree and watching him play with his friends. I miss the school run and hearing about all the things he was doing and learning.
I miss holidays, we had so many lovely plans for this year.
I miss seeing friends- I can still see my parents from a social distance and have throughout.
I miss having things to talk about apart from coronavirus.
I don’t miss work at all. Not sure if I want to go back to teeth in this, I’m scared.
I recognise that we are lucky. We are all healthy at present and have a nice house and a garden. We can walk into beautiful countryside. Despite my work we are financially ok. Holidays can be rebooked and DS school have been great. He’ll be able to go back at some point.
It’s rubbish though isn’t it?

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beela · 23/05/2020 07:13

We are meant to be in the sky right about now, on our way to France for half term. I am a bit sad about that.

I miss the dc being able to play with their friends. Dc1 is 9 and was just getting some independence.

I miss being able to make plans and look forward to things.

I miss going to the office and keeping my work life and home life separate.

I miss spending time on my own in our house - everyone is always here!

I love that our village has come together as a community. I love the weather (I know that part is a fluke). I love that working from home has meant I can see the wildlife come and go in the garden. I love that we have found some hidden gems on our daily walks. I love that dc2 has become confident enough on her bike for us all to go out cycling together. But I do miss a lot of things.

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