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To really hate it when people talk about DTD on here?

(106 Posts)
thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:28:43

It's so puritanical and 1950s and makes sex sound shameful and dirty, as if its something to be done on Sunday, behind closed doors and with all the lights off. Like going to the toilet.

This is a discussion board for adult women, the majority of whom have or plan to have children. You are allowed to have a sex life (if you so choose) and to discuss it. For Pete's sake can we stop talking about DTD?

nokidshere Fri 22-May-20 13:35:38

Why does it matter? Who cares how other people talk about their sex life? I find it weird that so many people think their way of speaking is any better than anyone else's.

If you don't like it, then don't use it. But don't preach to others about what words than can or can't use.

SunbathingDragon Fri 22-May-20 13:39:02

Adult men are also allowed to use the discussion board.

I think lots of people write DTD in the same way they write DH etc. It’s just an abbreviation. I’d be amazed if the same number of people speak like that in real life.

CodenameVillanelle Fri 22-May-20 13:40:15

DTD is the same number of letters as SEX

steppemum Fri 22-May-20 13:41:55

Surely the point of DTD is to illustrate that they are talking about intercourse as opposed to oral sex, masturbation, BJ or any other type of sex?

ofwarren Fri 22-May-20 13:41:56

It came from the conception boards didn't it? It definitely does feel like a deed when you are having to do it on demand when you OPK tells you that you are ovulating 😂

PafLeChien Fri 22-May-20 13:42:07

It's a shortcut ,would you prefer reading about DearSex, DearShag or DearFuck?

I love that MN uses the same acronym for random things

thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:42:20

nokidshere last time I looked this was a discussion board where people could air their views on pretty much anything. The clue is in the name.

I just find it astonishing in this day and age when we are so comfortable talking about all aspects of sex that we use a phrase that could be used by a fire and brimstone preacher to describe sex outside wedlock. Just urgh...

thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:44:59

But its not really a shortcut is it? it has the same number of letters in it as sex.

PafleChien you don't say "Dear Doing the Deed" though do you? It's a prurient, old-fashioned and completely unecessary way to shorten the phrase "having sex". Its no easier to type and it points to an utterly puritanical view of the world.

nokidshere Fri 22-May-20 13:45:41

Just because you are comfortable talking about sex doesn't mean everyone else is though.

And a discussion would be 'why can't people talk about sex' not 'for petes sake stop saying dtd'

SunbathingDragon Fri 22-May-20 13:47:30

I just find it astonishing in this day and age when we are so comfortable talking about all aspects of sex that we use a phrase that could be used by a fire and brimstone preacher to describe sex outside wedlock.

I find it astonishing that anyone can find this sort of thing astonishing. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Each to their own.

PenCreed Fri 22-May-20 13:47:32

we use a phrase that could be used by a fire and brimstone preacher to describe sex outside wedlock

Nah, that'd be "fornication".

MilleniumHallsWalledGarden Fri 22-May-20 13:49:58

Yep, yabu to tell other people what terminology they should use hmm

Pipandmum Fri 22-May-20 13:50:12

I hate all the acronyms used on mumsnet. OP, DD and DP etc - but that's the format and I just don't use them myself.

ChavvySexPond Fri 22-May-20 13:50:22

I find all the special MN language a bit odd to be honest. I write " my kids" not "DC".

But then I'm new.

How long does it take to get so institutionalised that you no longer think calling fellow posters "dementors" and posting a chess symbol on threads isn't name-calling, silencing and bullying?

Tootletum Fri 22-May-20 13:51:18

SEX SEX SEX. Happy?

thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:51:26

nokidshere AIBU is designed to be a forum for strong views.

But no one is asking questions face to face about their sex life. It's not like you're asking it of the Book Group or your GP. You're asking it on an anonymous board full of (mainly) adult women. Writing DTD doesn't protect you from shame any more than writing "having sex". Why is it necessary to couch it in the way Mary Whitehouse might have talked about it? I just find it so bizarre.

PafLeChien Fri 22-May-20 13:51:41

But its not really a shortcut is it? it has the same number of letters in it as sex.

if you go into details, you wouldn't write : we are SEX, it's shorter to write we're DTD.

Not better but certainly not worst than DH, and dear everything on MN.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup Fri 22-May-20 13:51:59

You could also look at it from the POV that it might make some people more comfortable and able to engage in conversations about whether or not their sex life is "normal" if they are able to use DTD eg those brought up to see it as shameful.

I would think a puritanical view would mean not actually talking about it at all. It's an acronym, write sex or fucking or whatever you want, but don't police how other people use the board. None of us actually say dear husband or dear dog or oh do fuck off dear (well, we might) but it's handy to have these if people want to use them.

Pomegranateseeds Fri 22-May-20 13:52:02

It is an abbreviation because it includes the verb. If you used "Sex" you'd have to say "have sex" usually.

thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:52:21

Tootletum yes, thank you!

I quite like "shagging", but there you go.

PafLeChien Fri 22-May-20 13:52:30

posting a chess symbol on threads
Sorry, I missed that, what chess symbol?

thepeopleversuswork Fri 22-May-20 13:54:25

Millenium I'm not in the business of telling anyone what to do but I find this phrase astonishingly old fashioned.

Pomegranateseeds Fri 22-May-20 13:54:35

It's not something I'd say in real life but it is also useful (as pp pointed out) to mean "full intercourse" as opposed to other sexual contact.

AuntieMarys Fri 22-May-20 13:55:36

We could go very Daily Mail and call it a "romp".

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