Talk

Advanced search

Couples who live separately but are having children??

(102 Posts)
Dickorydockwhatthe Fri 22-May-20 10:27:33

AIBU to think you can't have it both ways and to get annoyed by it (it's lockdown and I have too much time to think normally wouldn't care as too busy working!). They are very much a couple and are having their second child together. He works she doesn't. Both living in different households although staying over at times. Christmas together, weekends away etc. I have too much time at the moment I know but seeing posts on FB 'My partner and I' need to buy a pram just pissed me off today 😬

AnxiousAnnie13 Fri 22-May-20 10:29:04

Well what's their reason for not living together?

ScarfLadysBag Fri 22-May-20 10:29:22

It's unusual but I don't really see the issue? Unless it's a benefit fraud theft. But otherwise if it works for them and they and the kids are happy then why not?

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 22-May-20 10:29:25

How about keeping your nose out of other peoples business? How exactly does this affect you at all? My partner and I don’t live together. For a myriad of reasons. Doesn’t mean I don’t struggle with that sometimes.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 22-May-20 10:30:27

Well what's their reason for not living together?

Why does that matter?

And its not benefit fraud if you don’t live together. It’s benefit fraud if you DO live together but pretend you don’t.

AnxiousAnnie13 Fri 22-May-20 10:33:45

Well what's their reason for not living together?

Why does that matter?

I was just being nosey really.

WatchingFromTheWings Fri 22-May-20 10:33:48

My then DP (now DH) lived apart for a few years. Had no choice as he couldn't get work local in his field and I couldn't move as I had kids with exH I couldn't (didn't want to) uproot. We had a baby together, then he got something local and moved in. It happens. Nobodies business but ours.

wildcherries Fri 22-May-20 10:36:25

Why is it any of your business? Different setups work for different couples. We're not all the same.

dontdisturbmenow Fri 22-May-20 10:37:25

Maximising benefits legally. Many consider extra money to buy crap or fancy today to be more important than to give 5heir children the gift of having two parents living under the same roof.

yelyah22 Fri 22-May-20 10:49:51

Don't know why it's any of your business really, and I definitely don't see why you're angry about it?

Thescrewinthetuna Fri 22-May-20 10:50:45

I don’t see the issue?

CoachBombay Fri 22-May-20 11:06:35

Me and exh lived apart till DS was 3. DS was a surprise early on in the relationship, I didn't want to rush anything. I mean didn't work out anyway, but there you go, live and learn as they say.

DS's father was very much my partner though.

BluebellForest836 Fri 22-May-20 11:15:35

Because they are benefit scroungers and want to maximise any benefits they get.

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 22-May-20 11:59:08

Maximising benefits legally. Many consider extra money to buy crap or fancy today to be more important than to give 5heir children the gift of having two parents living under the same roof.

Yes because running two homes is definitely cheaper than one, freeing up all that lovely benefits moolah hmm

If you’re wondering why everyone is furloughed at the moment instead of being made to claim Universal Credit, its because there would be outrage if the majority of people had to jump through hoops for the measly amount of benefits they’d be entitled to. If you’re not sure, have a look at just how “fabulously wealthy” you too could be living the luxury life of a benefit claimant. Then wind your neck in.

PumpkinP Fri 22-May-20 12:15:03

This was me and my ex but it wasn't my choice it was his, I fell pregnant early on and although we stayed together he refused to move in. we was together for a few years but I wasn't happy with the situation and thankfully it's over now. It wasn't for benefits

Dickorydockwhatthe Fri 22-May-20 12:15:35

I'm really surprised to be honest you can live separately but very much be together and yet not provide for your children and put a roof over their heads.

pumpkinbump Fri 22-May-20 12:18:02

My ex wanted to do it this way when I had the baby. No way! Dumped his arse!

AnduinsGirl Fri 22-May-20 12:18:42

Quite common at the school I work at. Not being judgemental, BTW, just factual. Dad's recorded address is often a relative's place but of course the family live under one roof.

DahliaDay Fri 22-May-20 12:19:05

Does he pay her maintenance then?

Or does she claim

MarkRuffaloCrumble Fri 22-May-20 12:21:33

I'm really surprised to be honest you can live separately but very much be together and yet not provide for your children and put a roof over their heads.

But they do have a roof over their heads! However the parents organise their finances is literally none of your business. There are plenty of couples who live together but don’t share their money, wife ends up using her savings or maternity pay for the child and her own expenditure while the ‘D’ H earns well and keeps the lions share to himself. How about you go and spout off about them instead.

Dickorydockwhatthe Fri 22-May-20 12:24:00

I know circumstances are different and some couples choose to not live together but if you've been together over 2 years and are now having a second child then why is he not financially supporting her?? I mean yes he is buying the pram and paying for other things but not paying the rent or bills or child maintenance.

Pelleas Fri 22-May-20 12:25:25

If she doesn't work, who is paying the rent, bills and child maintenance?

heartsonacake Fri 22-May-20 12:26:12

People can choose to do what they want, but I pity anyone having children and not living with their partner. That would be awful not having that support.

DahliaDay Fri 22-May-20 12:28:34

She has the support as he ‘stays over’

Does she claim single parent council tax discount?

DahliaDay Fri 22-May-20 12:29:22

Does he live with his mum?

Join the discussion

Registering is free, quick, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Get started »