I know the past few months has been incredibly sad and traumatic for many people who have been affected in some way by this virus and I wish I had the power to change things for them.
My circumstances over the past few years have been the following. I had a relationship that ended in 2013 - cut a long story short I'd put on a huge amount of weight and couldn't find a job after leaving a college course. I managed to get a job in 2015 and my living circumstances admittedly improved - moved from rough area to safe affluent area. Unfortunately my relationship went down the pan and my friendships went. I've not socialised with any genuine friends since 2012 believe it or not!! I was glad to at least finally have a job but I suffered low self esteem and acted in some ways foolishly to overcompensate for this. I was bullied in work consequently and my weight ballooned to being obese. For some reason I couldn't lose weight and my mental health consequently suffered immensely as I was unable to stick to any sort of diet/exercise program. I was unpopular in work and often humiliated by others. Although tbh I was happy to at least have a job. My mum last year was diagnosed with dementia and as an only child I'm left having to sort all her stuff out as she's gone into a care home. I'm single so no DH to help or partner. I live in London and my mum in the Midlands area so I've had to travel back to see her. I suppose in the past few years I've been depressed due to my obesity and binge eating, losing my wonderful boyfriend after 4 years with him and being unpopular in work. I have no friends I socialise with.
Since lockdown started and being furloughed I've started dieting and have lost weight and lockdown has also taken other pressures off such as arranging care packages for my mum and worrying about the mammoth task of having to sell her house. For the first time in several years - since 2016 I've managed to successfully stick to a diet /exercise plan and get noticeable results. Realistically, I was SOOO desperate to lose weight before lockdown it's almost as if I was prepared to lose my job over it - as I was in such an emotional rut. In fact, before this virus was even heard of, realistically, I would have loved just time off work to lose weight while still being paid - as not being able to diet and being obese was affecting my mental health so much - I probably had depression which wasn't officially diagnosed.
This is exactly what I've had through furlough - time off work to lose weight - I've lost a stone since furlough - while still being paid! - and also all other pressures at least temporarily taken off me.
Being honest I still feel lonely after my love life and social life crashed and burned but this lockdown is just what I needed to 'catch up with myself' if you like . Just time to lose weight and no other is exactly what I would have wanted in the circumstances therefore furlough has enabled me to tackle my weight problem and thus given my space to tackle things one by one iyswim.
I wish people had been spared this awful virus. For me though the lockdown/prevention element of it has helped me a little bit after some very difficult, miserable few years. I hope it's a sign that things will improve for me.
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AIBU?
To feel that 'lockdown' in my circumstances has been ideal?
17 replies
NoDavNoLav · 21/05/2020 23:05
OP posts:
Am I being unreasonable?
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You are being unreasonable
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You are NOT being unreasonable
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