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To feel that 'lockdown' in my circumstances has been ideal?

(18 Posts)
NoDavNoLav Thu 21-May-20 23:05:29

I know the past few months has been incredibly sad and traumatic for many people who have been affected in some way by this virus and I wish I had the power to change things for them.
My circumstances over the past few years have been the following. I had a relationship that ended in 2013 - cut a long story short I'd put on a huge amount of weight and couldn't find a job after leaving a college course. I managed to get a job in 2015 and my living circumstances admittedly improved - moved from rough area to safe affluent area. Unfortunately my relationship went down the pan and my friendships went. I've not socialised with any genuine friends since 2012 believe it or not!! I was glad to at least finally have a job but I suffered low self esteem and acted in some ways foolishly to overcompensate for this. I was bullied in work consequently and my weight ballooned to being obese. For some reason I couldn't lose weight and my mental health consequently suffered immensely as I was unable to stick to any sort of diet/exercise program. I was unpopular in work and often humiliated by others. Although tbh I was happy to at least have a job. My mum last year was diagnosed with dementia and as an only child I'm left having to sort all her stuff out as she's gone into a care home. I'm single so no DH to help or partner. I live in London and my mum in the Midlands area so I've had to travel back to see her. I suppose in the past few years I've been depressed due to my obesity and binge eating, losing my wonderful boyfriend after 4 years with him and being unpopular in work. I have no friends I socialise with.
Since lockdown started and being furloughed I've started dieting and have lost weight and lockdown has also taken other pressures off such as arranging care packages for my mum and worrying about the mammoth task of having to sell her house. For the first time in several years - since 2016 I've managed to successfully stick to a diet /exercise plan and get noticeable results. Realistically, I was SOOO desperate to lose weight before lockdown it's almost as if I was prepared to lose my job over it - as I was in such an emotional rut. In fact, before this virus was even heard of, realistically, I would have loved just time off work to lose weight while still being paid - as not being able to diet and being obese was affecting my mental health so much - I probably had depression which wasn't officially diagnosed.
This is exactly what I've had through furlough - time off work to lose weight - I've lost a stone since furlough - while still being paid! - and also all other pressures at least temporarily taken off me.
Being honest I still feel lonely after my love life and social life crashed and burned but this lockdown is just what I needed to 'catch up with myself' if you like . Just time to lose weight and no other is exactly what I would have wanted in the circumstances therefore furlough has enabled me to tackle my weight problem and thus given my space to tackle things one by one iyswim.
I wish people had been spared this awful virus. For me though the lockdown/prevention element of it has helped me a little bit after some very difficult, miserable few years. I hope it's a sign that things will improve for me.

Mintlegs Thu 21-May-20 23:11:38

Well done and keep going!

NoDavNoLav Thu 21-May-20 23:12:32

Thanks Mintlegs - appreciate it!

NoDavNoLav Thu 21-May-20 23:17:05

Sorry last but one paragraph should actually read
'no other responsibilities/pressures

tensmum1964 Thu 21-May-20 23:18:19

Well done on your weight loss. Its great that lockdown has given you the space you needed and from the sounds of it you deserve this time. Hopefully by the time things get back to normal you will be a new and stronger woman. Keep up the weight loss and work on your self esteem and good luck for a brighter, happier future.

NoDavNoLav Thu 21-May-20 23:21:28

tensmum1964 - thank you. I am still struggling with immense feelings of regret over messing things up with my lovely boyfriend but console myself with my feelings that at least this period has allowed me to 'catch a break.' - and it's something I never thought would happen like this (did anyone) - but it's something I actually really needed.

loubeylou68smellsofreindeerpoo Thu 21-May-20 23:23:45

I have to say the lockdown has positive for me too, I've worked solidly for the last 30+ years sometimes 3 jobs. It's lovely to have time to do work round the house and spend time with the family. Only downside is I think I found your stone

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Thu 21-May-20 23:27:05

Good for you!

Me too. Though I'm still wfh, I am absoloutley relishing all this time with the dc. And not having to think of things to do at the weekends or places to be. We've painted rocks, played board games, done jigsaws, read lots.

I have more energy. I am calmer. I'm sleeping better. My bank balance is healthier.

There is obviously underlying thoughts and worries for others. However it has honestly become my only worry. And hope anyone who is struggling is able to find even just one small thing that brings them joy throughout this. Whatever that is.

candle18 Thu 21-May-20 23:29:34

That’s really good to hear how well you’re doing. You’ve done amazingly well to lose weight in these circumstances as it’s so easy to snack whilst being at home. Hopefully that will be the boost you need to turn things around. Whilst none of us would wish for Covid-19/lockdown, there’s nothing wrong with making the best of this time and enjoying some headspace away from work. Keep it up!

iamapixie Thu 21-May-20 23:32:07

Well done on starting to lose the weight you were unhappy about. Sounds like you're on a roll so keep going.
Good luck with your mum. Dementia is a terrible thing to deal with.
There is no shame in saying that lockdown is working for you.

MadameMeursault Thu 21-May-20 23:32:47

Well done OP. Hopefully this will give you the motivation and momentum to keep going. Perhaps you can think about other changes too, e.g. not staying in a job where people don’t value you. Sounds like you have low self-esteem, you need to try to value yourself more, which can be difficult I know. Sounds like you are a lovely daughter to your mum. Hope things will continue to improve for you, you deserve it.

Playdonut Thu 21-May-20 23:36:10

Lockdown is a living hell for the vast majority of us. Our health, wealth, relationships and sanity may never recover. How could we begrudge you your bit of happiness?? You may be the only person in Britain to feel this way but Im glad you do! Well done you xxx

Eastender77 Thu 21-May-20 23:44:37

Well done op! Keep it up x
I can relate to this but in different ways. I was just having a conversation today about how I have enjoyed not having to deal with the constant bitching at work, the shift pattern of working til midnight and starting a shift again at 6am - giving me less than 5 hours sleep and not even seeing any of my family when I finish work or before I start again as they’re all asleep ! And the constant work phone calls. It’s been lovely living the simple life. Not thinking about work all the time and none of the stress of who’s bitching about who. Just being at home, cooking meals, being in my garden, not having to dress up for work. I feel so guilty admitting, it but this has been a real eye opener for me.

Mutedgrey Thu 21-May-20 23:51:05

Well done on your weight loss and it’s brilliant you’ve taken this opportunity and made something of it.
Out of curiosity, how does having Had more time helped you lose weight? The more time I have, the more I eat..

fizzybootlace Fri 22-May-20 00:25:23

Well done OP, anything good to come out of this is fine by me! I think just the general slowing in pace and time away from certain people have given me and others a mental break that has been needed for some time.

Having time to plan my food is really important for me to keep my weight down. I used to have a ridiculous job where I was travelling a lot and despite being on my feet all day and walking over 20k steps, I couldn't carry my own food and was grabbing food on the go which is surprisingly unhealthy when you actually read what's in pre packed food e.g. Pret, Eat etc. I was too exhausted at night to either exercise properly or prepare good food for the next day so it was a circular problem. Having a desk/home based job means that although I do sit down a lot more, I can easily prepare better food and use lunch time for a short walk or use my exercise bike while at home.

Being at home means I have total control over what I eat, good and bad, and I've not put on weight, which after years of struggling makes me happy so I know how you feel.

NoDavNoLav Fri 22-May-20 13:02:56

Mutedgrey - interesting you ask that question - I'm the type that can lose weight successfully on my own - in the house - but if I'm in a work situation with other people this triggers eating. I used to suffer social anxiety and I feel I come across nervous in front of other people and this makes me want to eat as I feel I've failed. This is something I've identified in myself and know I need to address.

ChicCroissant Fri 22-May-20 13:15:02

Certainly not the only person having a good lockdown OP, well done and enjoy it while you can! We are having a good lockdown (coincidentally, my DH has also lost a lot of weight) and making the best of it is the way to go IMO. star

OptimisticSix Fri 22-May-20 14:17:05

I'm genuinely pleased for you, and anyone who has been able to get anything positive out of this. We have got lots done on the house that desperately needed doing but we never seemed to find the time - some of our doors actually close now! I know there are peiple having a dreadful time and we've had our moments (and money is very tight now) but I think its inportant to be as positive as possible. Oh congrats on the weight loss btw, thats awesome, I think Ive probablyput on about that much 😁

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