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To ask how parents of sen children feel about their children back to school!

(22 Posts)
Starlet9729 Thu 21-May-20 21:12:06

Posting here for traffic and anonymously. Cannot post this on Facebook as a row erupted on our children’s school group last night regarding sending children back. I haven’t really got anyone to ask as don’t know many people in same situation.

Anyway, I have two with autism. One in reception so in the groups going back and the other older but can go back due to EHCP. They could have both gone in from the start as they both have EHCP’s but decided to keep them off.

My children are very sociable. They aren’t great at playing with children but are very happy to be around them and not great personal space etc. I worry how they will cope with social distancing. They both have extra support too which they have to fully social distance from their teaching assistant? I have asked the school this but they haven’t given me a clear answer.

The school have guided parents but cannot influence your decision but I just want to know how things will be. Also, I’m worried about them coping with the school being so different. My eldest particularly doesn’t like change.

At the same time, we’ve barely got any school work done as they aren’t motivated. I feel like they need some formal education else they will fall behind. My eldest is already behind his peers by a couple years 😬

I’m very much on the fence about this and wondered if anyone else is in the same situation and could offer their views?

elliejjtiny Thu 21-May-20 21:16:15

I completely understand and feel much the same. My 5 year old has autism and has really struggled with the changes. He is finally getting used to the new routine of learning at home and now they want him to go back to school.

x2boys Thu 21-May-20 21:16:51

Mine,s at a special school and there are no plans to bring any year groups back yet,I just don't see how they can safely social distance the children, most of the children also get transport to and from school and it will just be impossible to keep them safe

Sirzy Thu 21-May-20 21:18:06

Will there be any formal education in school? From what I have heard about our school what they will be delivering is going to be far from the normal curriculum.

Thankfully my decision was made for me as DS is shielding so cant go back yet anyway. Either way I think I would have kept him off as change of staff/rooms/students etc wouldn’t work for him and he needs one of two members of staff (well 3 but one is pregnant so won’t be back) available to meet his care needs which may not be practically possible

hiredandsqueak Thu 21-May-20 21:22:03

My daughter with autism attends an independent specialist school and has attended throughout lockdown two days per week. In her school very little has changed, she is usually in a class of three or four although sometimes even in a class on her own or with one other so there are no issues distancing as there are plenty of available rooms as all classes are tiny.
If my daughter was in a mainstream school with an EHCP I wouldn't be sending her to school, not because of the coronavirus specifically more because the protection of the EHCP and the legal duty to make the provision in it is no longer enforceable and without the provision school would be very difficult for her.

KKSlider Thu 21-May-20 21:24:35

I have two DC with autism who are in eligible year groups and we decided not to send them back, a decision which has been reinforced by the information coming from school about how the day will be structured and the rules that will be in place. I don't think they'll cope well with being so restricted in what they can and can't do, DS1 in particular I think would be a liability more than anything as he'd constantly forget about social distancing and hand hygiene. DS1's school has sent out a letter today with clarification of the guidance they're following and have also notified parents that if their child breaks the new rules they'll be automatically excluded and will have to work from home instead.

Both schools have said the work being done in school will be the exact same work being set for the children at home so I don't need to worry that they're missing out there.

user1000000000000000001 Thu 21-May-20 21:24:50

My 5 year old has been in throughout and has various SEN. 5 year olds aren't known for personal space but she especially isn't. She's very tactile and she can require "positive handling".

She really struggled for the past 7 weeks as her TA was off. Her TA has been back in this week and DD has really settled again. However she is absolutely not able to socially distance. She still receives all the cuddles she needs etc but her TA seems to be that way inclined anyway. It would be difficult if her TA was a bit more concerned about distancing from her. The first line of The new behaviour expectations is not to touch other people. I suspect her school are treating her as an exception.

I'm actually more concerned for after half term. Lots more kids in. Lots more rules of you can't go here or there. I think even reception will have much more expectations of desk sitting and doing set activities rather than the general freedom they have right now. So I'm nervous but her bubble has her and her TA in and she is more resilient when her TA is there.

Bakedbeanhead Thu 21-May-20 21:29:53

Can you not give it a go for a week or so ? My daughter is going back after half term for 3 days (to fit in with my work) she has an EHCP and a one to one.

I have really struggled with trying to weigh up the pros and cons of the situation though.

Ignore the Facebook group as well, it is a completely kettle of fish for SEN children

Good luck with whatever you decide x

Spikeyball Thu 21-May-20 21:35:35

Mine has been in for most of the time ( indy special school) for mental health reasons. The school is using a social bubble model so there isn't social distancing within each class. I don't think any of the children in at the moment share transport but I don't know what will happen when the rest come back.
For us we feel the alternative of keeping him home would have been much worse but I know it will be a harder decision for some others.

stardance Thu 21-May-20 21:37:32

My son has ADHD and is under assessment for ASD. My biggest worry is the paragraph in communications from school about their revised behaviour policy. They can't move children to different classrooms like they used to, so any 'rule breaking' will result in an exclusion with parents called to remove their child immediately. Unfortunately some of the characteristics of ADHD constitute as rule breaking.

I do understand. But it's still frustrating and worrying.

Lucywilde Thu 21-May-20 21:38:53

One of mine attends a specialist school and there’s no talks at all to take anyone back. They’re continuing with just key workers kids. I have a dc who is 10 and in mainstream who has an ehcp who could go back but I think it could a struggle to get her in the door. We’ve not talked to her at all about coronavirus but she’s convinced she’s going to die 😕 Her 1:1 is back in from 1st June but I get the impression she doesn’t think she should go back in as it will be so different and her friends won’t be in. We’ve not received anything in the way of differentiated work so we’ve been going it alone. I felt the same for my 10 year old about the work.

Have you spoken to the school? What would their day look like? What would be going on work wise? Maybe you could do the odd transition day to see if it works.

Our older child is year 6 and we’ve put him down to go back but still on the fence.

Enchantmentz Thu 21-May-20 21:39:26

My dd 10 (asd/adhd) is due to go back in August(scotland), like your eldest she is a good couple years behind her peers and only started to flourish at school from last september. She was due for extra 1-2-1 sessions this term which she sorely needed to keep that momentum of catching up or to actually learning anything going.

I am concerned as she might regress and any progress we have made will be binned not including the whole system of schooling/environment will be changed.

Currently only managing 1hr of work per day which isn't much at all. Sacked off doing the online work set as it caused too much stress but once the work books are done then I will have to prepare her for that. We will probably keep doing it/catching up during the summer months to keep her brain ticking.

Shitfuckoh Thu 21-May-20 21:58:23

My eldest is almost 9. He attends a specialist school. His school closed fully just after mainstream schools did. They sent a text out after BJ announced schools to reopen from 1st June stating what he'd announced and asking for parents thoughts regarding reopening.

We've heard nothing since. He gets transport to school so no idea what would happen there & I think it'd be too much change in the school environment for him to cope with. I've already said I'm keeping his younger brother at home due to the changes, so I'll be keeping him home too. He's learning at home, work sheets / written work every morning. Baking, experiments , online learning in the afternoons.
It's working for us & his teachers have been impressed with the completed work I've been sending them.

My concern is that it will have been 5 and a half months come September & I have no idea how things will look then!

Starlet9729 Thu 21-May-20 22:06:06

Thanks all! Not easy is it!! I need to speak to the school again. They have sent some information out about how drop offs and pick ups will work If they go back my children will be dropped off and picked up at different times meaning we’ll have to wait around for half an hour which I don’t mind but we’ll have to go and hide somewhere in the car park or something to obey social distancing rules 🤣) they haven’t touched on what an average day will be like. I’ve emailed the school I’m hoping they will explain further.

They both go to the same mainstream school but won’t see each other as the school are having completely separate areas! I’m really worried how it will all affect them to be honest!

Awkwarddough Thu 21-May-20 22:08:19

I work in a SEN school and only 14% of our parents have said they would send their children back if they had the opportunity. I know needs vary greatly but I think that is a statistic that shows how most families are feeling.

crankysaurus Thu 21-May-20 22:12:04

Our one with sen is in mainstream secondary (no EHCP) so that choice is largely not there for us but I honestly think the change in routine and potential for friends not being in would be too much at this point. He's keen to go back but I think he's imagining it will be the same daily routine as before and I very much doubt it will be.

FancyAnOlive Thu 21-May-20 22:24:55

I have two dc with autism - not in the groups going back at first, one in a mainstream primary. I think mine would find it very difficult to cope with as it will be very different to how it has been all their time in school and I also know that one of them is going to be extremely anxious just leaving the house and leaving me.

Rosebel Thu 21-May-20 22:25:23

Mine is at secondary school, she doesn't have an EHCP but was offered a place due to being on the special needs register. As I'm at home at the moment though we decided not to take it.
She isn't at all sociable, although she likes doing clubs/groups none of it involves teamwork (except for football which is a just for fun group for children with SEN) so isn't missing school.
She's terrified of going back and her routine and teachers being different, keeping away from other people and catching the virus. I'm really worried because if the routine us,different she will absolutely freak out and have a huge meltdown.
Luckily our schools not open yet but I am worried how she'll cope when the time comes

OnTheMoors Thu 21-May-20 23:40:58

I would love my son to be able to go into school a couple of days a week. He has SEN (no EHCP) and is just on his phone all day. Not been anywhere for 7 weeks, he doesn't want to go for a walk. Usually does very intense sport so no physical and sensory outlet.

PineappleUpsideDownCake Fri 22-May-20 00:00:10

I have a yr6 high functioning autistic girl who is desperate to go back but her best friends arent going in. Im vulnerable too. We've had a letter about all the changes in routine and I think she will struggle.

DefConOne Fri 22-May-20 08:56:14

My year 7 is going back on the 1st June. She has an EHCP for ASD and SPD. She had a year in special school due to exclusion now back in mainstream with a lot of support. She is bright, English and humanities are her thing. Struggles massively with maths because she hates it. She is having meltdowns at home over work as she is disorganised and needs reminders to stay on task all the time. As we are both working from home it’s difficult to give her the time she needs, even though I am not full time and DH has dropped a day a week to help. Our 9 year old is getting on with her work with little supervision.

DD understands social distancing and is good health. She is unconcerned about catching the virus as she understands children are at incredibly low risk. It may be all too unpleasant at school without her two best friends there so we shall see.

Lucywilde Mon 25-May-20 06:03:20

Did you make a decision OP? We’ve got our year 6 who could go back and our year 5 with an ehcp who could go back but I’m very unsure. Year 6 child would be in one week then off the next so only in school a total of three weeks.

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