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Does anyone else feel like life feels long

(14 Posts)
marmite92 Thu 21-May-20 17:47:47

I know everyone says life is short, but my mum died a couple months ago and I'm only 27 and the thought of the rest of my life without her feels so long and overwhelming. Does anyone else feel that or do you eventually look back and think that it felt short? My life seems so bleak now

HuaShan Thu 21-May-20 17:51:47

I'm so sorry about your Mum. You are grieving still and over time this does get better. I'm 57 now and lost birth my parents in my early 30 's. At the time it was awful but thinks faded. I have an 18 year old and I can honestly say if feels like a few years ago that he was a baby. Give yourself time x

marmite92 Thu 21-May-20 18:17:41

Thank you @HuaShan I guess it feels surreal with being in lockdown too as I can't see anyone, so life feels so far from normal. I keep thinking of all the things she will miss out on

ShawshanksRedemption Thu 21-May-20 18:28:49

I'm heading towards my 50s and life feels like it's now too short. There were times when my anxiety and depression were taking it's toll and life felt long and unbearable, and with your recent bereavement and isolation on top, it's probably making you feel like this.

Do you have any other family members to share memories of your mum with? Close friends to support you? A partner?

MrsTolerance Thu 21-May-20 19:26:00

Give yourself time. It is very early days and I promise it will get easier. It must be extra hard during lockdown. I lost my mum over a decade ago and I still miss her. However, the raw pain I felt at the start has gone. Sending big hugs xxx

Khione Thu 21-May-20 19:34:47

I think in general terms time is long when looking forward and short when looking back.

This can vary as to what is currently happening in your life but under normal circumstances is certainly true for me.

TheCatsWhisker Thu 21-May-20 20:11:06

I'm so sorry you are going through this.

Not sure if this will help, but I lost my dad nearly 4 years ago.

We were so close. When it happened I thought I would never be able to wake up again without the dark cloud over me that he wasn't here anymore.

I was in tears most days because it hurt so much, I couldn't imagine not feeling like that. I also felt guilty that I didn't always want to feel like that either.

Gradually it became easier to think of him without remembering his death, lots of ups and downs, but instead remembering the good time we had when he was here. It took a while, I thought about grief counselling but didn't go through with it.

I still get the odd time when grief overwhelms me, usually if any Frank Sinatra song is playing.

I miss him, but also feel that he is a part of me. I kind of feel it was worth the sadness now to have had the happiness of then.

Sending you thanks

formerbabe Thu 21-May-20 20:16:10

Sorry for your loss...two months ago isn't very long at all so you're still very much in the grieving process. It's a strange time anyway so no wonder you're feeling as you do. Honestly, things will get better flowers

marmite92 Thu 21-May-20 20:27:31

Thank you all, so sorry about your dad @TheCatsWhisker it's horrendous. Feels so unjust as she was so young as well. I do have so much to look forward to but it just feels pointless now, I know it's a bit morbid but it's got me questioning the point of everything. I do have some amazing family and we are all leaning on each other but it still just feels like an enormous hole, and like someone said the road ahead looks so long x

ParkheadParadise Thu 21-May-20 20:33:01

Sorry for your loss @marmite92

It's still very early days for you. When my dd died I cried every day for the first 18mths.
I can clearly remember her first
anniversary it honestly felt like she had died yesterday. I couldn't get my head round it was actually a year.
The first year is awful because you have all the first anniversaries. My mum died 2 years after dd.
Its nearly 5 years now, my life will never be the same but I'm living a different life now. I can look back with a smile now when I remember them.
Have you thought about counselling? it really helped me.
Take care of yourself.

marmite92 Thu 21-May-20 20:38:30

I'm so sorry about your dd @ParkheadParadise I know what you mean about time, it feels like yesterday but also ages, I feel like I can't remember normal life at the moment. I have and I think I will seek out some counselling when things get back to normal as I have anxiety and depression anyway. I hope I can look back with smiles too x

ParkheadParadise Thu 21-May-20 20:46:18

@marmite92
It must be so hard just now to deal with a death and funeral I cant imagine it. Just being able to meet up with friends and family and talk about your mum would probably help you.
Speak to your GP about counselling.

marmite92 Thu 21-May-20 22:09:56

Thank you @ParkheadParadise xx

thesuperfluousone Thu 21-May-20 22:10:51

yes..too long.

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