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(55 Posts)
Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 16:57:04

Honestly don’t know if I need to get some perspective or not but I feel I haven’t been able to use my garden so far today because my NDN has had a friend over with her toddler to play with NDN toddler. They’re not big gardens with low fences and the children are running in and out of the paddling pool. They’re normally a nice, church going family who’ve observed lockdown as far as I can tell (haven’t been watching them all the time though obvs). Not the NDN’s little girls birthday. At the clap tonight I was going to ask about it as in the row of 4 houses, 3 have clinically vulnerable people (who also aren’t out in the garden). They mightn’t know this as they’ve only been here 2 years but if you don’t see them out and they have deliveries it’s a fair assumption. AIBU?

MCP86 Thu 21-May-20 17:11:16

Im confused....
Your neighbour has some friends over.
You are now contemplating informing your other neighbours of this, because they are vulnerable.
I dont understand how it effects your vulnerable neighbours and why they need to know what's going on?
I assume at the 8pm clap tonight, you and your neigbours dont all rub shoulders with each other?
Like I confused

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:28:43

No, have no intention of speaking to any other neighbours. I will see this neighbour at the clap tonight. In a row of 4 house, 3 have people in that are shielding. AIBU, in essence, to speak to NDN about them having ppl over?

OnItCarBonnet Thu 21-May-20 17:29:52

It’s none of your business

Coulddowithanap Thu 21-May-20 17:31:13

What has it got to do with other neighbours?

Princessbanana Thu 21-May-20 17:31:14

Eh no, mind your own! It’s not like they invited them into your back garden!😂

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:33:56

Rhe only reason I mentioned the other neighbours is because they, like me, are shielding. Small gardens, low fences. 3/4 shielding and the 1 that isn’t has had ppl over. Seems a bit off to me. At least stay in the house so I can go in my garden.

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Thu 21-May-20 17:34:25

Again how will this affect them hmm

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Thu 21-May-20 17:35:23

What do you think the virus is going to do, jump over and hit you like fish... as log as your socially distancing what’s the issue?

Nicknacky Thu 21-May-20 17:35:35

Why can’t you go in your garden when there is others in theirs?

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:36:28

Is it still none of my business if I can’t use my garden because I’m worried s as bout ppl breaking lockdown? At clap we normally say hi, obvs with social distancing. Feels hypocritical to do that while being annoyed about this. Genuinely don’t know now if IABU.

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:37:28

The issue is that it’s difficult to socially distancing comfortably in our courtyard gardens

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Thu 21-May-20 17:37:28

Why can you use your garden hmm

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Thu 21-May-20 17:37:48

Is it’s a shared garden ?

Laaalaaaa Thu 21-May-20 17:37:55

Why do you think it’s your business to speak to them? They’re hardly going to take your comments on board are they. Yes they shouldn’t be having people over but if you stay away from them it doesn’t affect you.

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:38:42

They are courtyards, v narrow with thigh high boundaries so easy for toddler toys to come over etc

Apolloanddaphne Thu 21-May-20 17:39:37

I don't understand either. You can still go in your garden even if your neighbour has had a friend over. They aren't in your garden or the garden of your shielding neighbours.

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:39:42

I either have to pretend it’s fine and smile and say hi like normal when I don’t think it is, or speak to them bc s a bout it or? Maybe a 3rd way?

anothernamechangeagain Thu 21-May-20 17:40:03

You can't use your garden if other people are in theirs but you can go out for the clap and chat as long as you socially distance?
That doesn't make any sense.

Just don't sit against the fence in your garden.

What do you plan to say to them anyway??

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:40:20

The gardens are tiny, the visitor and child are unknown quantities

Brokenchair1 Thu 21-May-20 17:40:29

Why is them going to church relevant?

But in answer to your question, YABVU. What they do in their garden is not any of your business unless they are actively standing at the fence and coughing at you. Get some perspective!

HaudYerWheeshtYaWeeBellend Thu 21-May-20 17:40:32

And I’m afraid to say OP, if your shielding you shouldn’t even be using your garden, government guidelines advise you should open a window or sit on your front door step.

Boopboopbedo Thu 21-May-20 17:41:08

Not sure why it doesn’t make sense - front space is a lot bigger- tr

anothernamechangeagain Thu 21-May-20 17:41:35

Toddler toys could come over the fence whether they have someone over or not. And the garden would be the same size whether they have people over or not.

saraclara Thu 21-May-20 17:42:03

This has put your other neighbours at no risk at all. One adult meeting one other adult. If they did it in the front garden (publicly visible) they'd have worked within the guidelines completely.
If it was their back garden? Well I've just done the same thing to see my daughters and grand child. When we met in the park the other day, people were passing close to us, and little children were running up to look at the baby. So my daughter feels safer seeing me in her garden.

The virus isn't going to reach any of her neighbours from me. There are fences and even if they are in their garden at the same time, at the nearest possible part, they'd still be several metres away.

You're being silly and planning to cause problems and antagonism where it isn't necessary.

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