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AIBU?

Neighbour problem with wild birds

141 replies

Chocolate50 · 21/05/2020 08:09

We have nesting wild birds in our garden every year. My neighbour who we've been fairly friendly with for a number of years with no real issues (although has sometimes been a little selfish at times but I've let this go as don't want to create problems) asked me if I saw any abandoned eggs (sometimes happens) if she could have them so she could hatch them (I think her son was interested). I've given her a couple once I'm sure that the mother wasn't coming back.

Anyway there's a nest in our garden, with bird coming & going, but last week my neighbour says that there was another animal attacking this nest & she's taken all of the eggs - not sure how she knew this because she can't see the nest from her house. At this point I go outside to see mother bird really distressed looking for her eggs. So I knock on the neighbours door & ask if I can put the eggs back. No she tells me that the mother wouldn't accept them, I eventually persuade her to give them back as I'm worried about the mother bird & so she gives them all back (or I thought she did). I put the eggs on nest, bird sits on them & all is good.
However I am by this point annoyed that my neighbour has gone into my garden & without bothering to knock, has taken these eggs from this nest, however had made it clear we wanted them returned & she seemed to comply.

But then another turn. She sends me a message saying should she put 'the other eggs back too as she's not sure if she actually wants to hatch all of these birds' (bare in mind I thought that all of the eggs had been returned). I say yes put them back. Then I get a message with a picture of a newborn bird saying 'too late they're hatching'. This picture shows at least 6 eggs. I'm livid by this point. I ask her why she kept them & that they should be with the mother & that we don't believe in taking eggs out of nests with no good reason anyway - at the point that the mother returned that's when they needed to all go back & that the nest was in our fucking garden anyway. You get the drift.
I get a half hearted apology where she refuses to give hatched bird back to mother (I am certain that the mother bird would've accepted it) & saying that there's nothing she can do. I say well give them back now before the rest hatch. So I knock again on the door & ask for eggs back & say I'm going to phone wildlife help for advice. She reluctantly gives them (son looking disappointed in background me feeling like an ogre), I put them nest the nest mother takes them straight away & all is good again.
However I've now discovered that she kept at least 3 eggs. Her reasoning is that some are lost to predators in the wild, this totally goes against our ethics which are that the best place for these birds is with mother in wild & our role is to support but not interfere in this way. At the point that the mother bird returned & looked distressed was when they should've all gone back. I think my neighbour has been really selfish to do this & think she only wanted to bring up the birds herself for her own reasons, nothing to do with predators. My opinion has changed completely now about her & she had the opportunity to put things right & didn't.

I don't want to sound over dramatic but I'm actually feeling really violated - she was obviously watching the nest (I know she's used webcams on nests in her garden before now & the thought has crossed my mind), and am really angry that she came in, took these eggs, refused to return them, then only returned some & has really offended my ethical beliefs by objectifying these wild animals (I hear her son playing with these birds in their garden). I'm seriously pissed off.
I tried to explain this to her but she clearly thinks I'm over reacting & says things like 'its the same outcome, we'll raise them & let them go, this is what would've happened anyway except the mother would be raising them instead of us'.

So my dilemma is now I'm not able to trust my neighbour, do I try to communicate about this any longer or should I leave it. I'm aware that I could report her as I don't think what she's done is legal but it's done now. I just don't want it happening again, it's really stressed me out!

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bigeegit · 21/05/2020 08:15

Wow. She sounds insane, what an awful thing to do, poor mama bird! I would definitely tell her to at the very least not to go into your garden again and would look for advice from a wildlife group as to whether what she did is reportable or not, I assume it is.