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The wisdom of not having friends

(22 Posts)
ActualStork223 Wed 20-May-20 21:59:18

So we're in a block of 3 houses my neighbours either side have become good friends over lockdown... all good. Happy for them .

Before they became friends both of them used to have a quick chat with me in passing now they are friends I am blatantly ignored. Why?

There's no misunderstanding I said hi to both on seperate occasions today right to their faces and was treated to a quick shuffle and the backs of the heads.

For the love of God I'm 35 years of age and this is school child behaviour. Just wtf.

I don't really have friends because it always seems to include drama thus, and once again I'm 35. Not 15.

Help me stay classy and above this shite x

OP’s posts: |
ActualStork223 Thu 21-May-20 00:41:36


OP’s posts: |
Iris27 Thu 21-May-20 00:54:36

I think the reason you've not had a response is that no one here is able to tell you why they're behaving like that.

I will say it sounds so stupid. Rise above it - carry in being polite and leave them to it. Try not to waste your time worrying about it.

GoGadgetGo Thu 21-May-20 01:23:20

Maybe it's not them, maybe it is you. Are you paranoid? Lack self esteem? Could you make more of an effort with them by starting a conversation and it being more than a 'hi'? Maybe an open ended question whuch requires a longer response.
They may have things going on in their lives and it may not be personal.

If it is personal, then they are not worthy of your time. Forget them.

Samtsirch Thu 21-May-20 01:25:40

Agree with @Iris27
It’s very hard to suggest an explanation without additional information and there may not be a logical explanation.
Perhaps they have found more in common with each other, or perhaps you are over thinking things and reading too much into a situation which doesn’t mean anything.
Try not to take it personally, carry on being polite and friendly, that’s all you can do 😊

EttasEden Thu 21-May-20 01:31:38

OP did you say hi and they didn't say hi back? Manners cost nothing.
I used to live with neighbours either side and I got on really well with them both, but they used to bitch about each other to me. I never got involved in it and now I've moved away, they get on much better... Does it make sense, no! But don't feed the drama and just take yourself out of the equation. They will be back to their jobs in no time with less time to sit about having a bitch about you. It isn't you, people just need something in common to talk about.

ActualStork223 Thu 21-May-20 01:31:54

Tips to rise above,? From the replies I'm guessing no one has rtft

OP’s posts: |
crustycrab Thu 21-May-20 01:35:10

Erm, what's wrong with the replies? You're either paranoid or they're both very rude.

I take it they've bonded over your garden? Have you slammed a window making them think you're pissed off at them?

AmICrazyorWhat2 Thu 21-May-20 01:37:37

Just carrying on saying hello and if they don't respond, so be it.

Neighbours are random people we live near and while some form a connection, others don't. I think it's rude not to respond to a greeting, but you can't alter other people's behaviour. Hope they start being polite. flowers

EttasEden Thu 21-May-20 01:39:20

OP tips to rise above is ignore the rude behaviour, yet continue being polite. Do not start the conversations with them but if they say hello, say hello back. I think you are letting this wind you up a bit. If it bothers you and you can't rise above it, call them out on their behaviour for ignoring you.

DownADirtRoad Thu 21-May-20 01:50:20

Just ignore them right back. They’re just neighbours, pretty irrelevant really, just people you happen to live by.

1forAll74 Thu 21-May-20 01:58:30

They just prefer some people more than others, it happens all the time..

DioneTheDiabolist Thu 21-May-20 02:02:16

I dont understand your question/supposition/presumption OP.confused

ilovesooty Thu 21-May-20 02:07:33

I don't see the evidence that people aren't reading the thread. People seem to be replying and trying to help.

cheesemongery Thu 21-May-20 02:13:39

There is no shite, there is no need for you to stay classy.

Your post sounds very angry which indicates it is upsetting you more than you let on.

I said hi to both on seperate occasions today right to their faces

Did you elaborate? How are you managing in lockdown? How are you? etc

cheesemongery Thu 21-May-20 02:16:08

You've already decided they are arseholes hence - the wisdom of not having friends and school child behaviour, drama and wtf.

They're probably really nice people.

Stinkycatbreath Thu 21-May-20 02:43:25

Tips to rise above would be just rise above it. Im not sure I would notice or care who is talking to who on my street.
I don't want to be friends with my neighbours, friendly yes but otherwise no.

Crystal87 Thu 21-May-20 03:11:11

You're overthinking this. I don't think I would notice or care who my neighbours were friends with.

Thepigeonsarecoming Thu 21-May-20 03:16:36

I’m friends with a few neighbours, others I just say hi. It’s no disrespect to them, I just have nothing else to say to them, would be awkward. You sound like your overthinking this OP

expat101 Thu 21-May-20 03:30:30

some people like to form little gangs around themselves, pack mentality.
Validates their own self-importance. If you feel you are on the outer since they formed this association, then they are not the sort of people you want to have in your life anyhow.

Once lockdown is over, and the weather warming up, get outside and get involved in a hobby or interest for you. You will no doubt find a better group of people to have in your gang, and to invite around to your place.

Watch the curtain-twitching then!

ilovesooty Thu 21-May-20 03:31:43

I get on well with my neighbours. We share taking bins out, take in each others' parcels and I do some online shopping for them too. I wouldn't say we're friends but we chat and they're nice to live next door to. However I think it's a bit sad when people say they have no need of friends because they're not children any more. Surely friends enrich all stages of your life?

NotALurker2 Thu 21-May-20 04:34:40

Some people bond by being against someone else. Sounds like that's what has happened with your two neighbors, with you being the person they are against.

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