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To feel like I have zero privacy? Rant!

(30 Posts)
Gratedcheeseontop Wed 20-May-20 20:36:24

Hello everyone!

A few months ago a new neighbour moved in next door, consisting of mum, dad, and 5 Primary school age children. The mum and children seem ok, however I’m not too keen on the dad (constantly shouting at his wife and children, calling her a “slut” and “tramp”, and them “little twats”... charming!).
The fence between my garden and theirs is very old and tiny - around 2/3ft tall but not solid panels. I think it was originally made from pallets so there are just gaps everywhere, and everything is visible in both gardens. I like to go into my garden with DS and DD, however recently they don’t like to go out as next door keep staring, and it’s true! Whenever we go outside they go out in their garden, they lean against the ancient fossil of a fence (already broken some of it off too hmm), and watch everything we do. I was blowing up the paddling pool for DC today and next door mum and children were out, just watching. One of her DS were leaning on the fence, and she said, and I quote (!!!!) “don’t lean on the fence XX, sit on this chair and you can watch here instead”... is that weird to you?! I hate having an audience at the best of times, but when I’m red in the face, sweating like a pig and wrestling with a paddling pool that keeps deflating, it’s going to get my back up! This isn’t a one off either, whenever I’m in the garden the neighbours will be out within 5 minutes watching every little thing we do. They don’t stare in a malicious, nasty way, but it’s just constant watching everything we’re doing. If DH and I are chatting about something NDN will pipe up and join in. She’s got a habit of “borrowing” so much stuff from other neighbours it’s getting beyond a joke.
I’m trying to be nice and see her side of it, new to the area, big change etc. But I also can’t help how I feel, and don’t think it’s fair that I have no privacy in my own back garden. I’ve gotten quotes to build a new fence, but the cheapest is £1000 which I really can’t afford at the mo, and NDN isn’t in the position to split the cost.
On top of that, they have 2 really fucking annoying small dogs that insist on barking at me ALL BLOODY DAY like I’m going to rob them at any given moment. sad
The family aren’t approachable either to try and broach this subject with them, dad is very aggressive (and knocks around with drug dealers, hoorah!) and I’ve heard mum in arguments so don’t want to cause trouble literally on my doorstep.

I guess I just want to feel validated in how I’m feeling and have a rant! DH is completely blind to it all and sees no issue with it hmm

Fosler Wed 20-May-20 20:50:42

Could you get some screening plants? Bamboo grows quick, put it in pots though and keep it a bit away from the fence (so they can't cut it down!).
Meantime, buy some pyracantha and plant it against the fence, it has wicked thorns and it's easy to take cuttings from. I'm no gardener but I took cuttings and kept them in water until the roots grew then I planted them in pots until they were big enough to plant out!
That would drive me mad too!

Lucifer666 Wed 20-May-20 20:52:43

I know how you feel OP I've had some nightmare neighbours over the years in my building. Could you not buy a new fence and DH put it up? if not why not plant some lovely high bushes/hedges preferably with thorns! grin failing that get some sprinklers in the garden and place them close by the fence that should do the trick LOL

Atalune Wed 20-May-20 20:52:58

Bamboo screens are about 6ft tall and 2m wide and around £30, plus some posts. You could probably screen your garden for about £150.

Skykavin Wed 20-May-20 21:02:19

YANBU at all, that's horrible to have to put up with in your own garden! But I understand not wanting to broach it with them.

Try the screening options other posters have suggested and hopefully it'll feel more private for you to enjoy.

recycledteenager24 Wed 20-May-20 21:19:05

yet another man who wants an easy life while his wife / partner sorts the shit out.

inwood Wed 20-May-20 21:20:32

Whose boundary is it? Just screen your side for now either way.

coffeandcake30 Wed 20-May-20 21:29:46

'Sit on this chair and you can watch here' really made me laugh! Hope you can get a cheaper fence sorted!

Sciurus83 Wed 20-May-20 21:34:13

Bamboo screens!! Cover in Clematis Clematis it'll be nice

McT123 Wed 20-May-20 21:35:15

4 metres of 2 metre high screening for £16.00 I'm sure other suppliers are available at similar price

recycledteenager24 Thu 21-May-20 09:36:37

op you must be somesortof acelebrity to warrant this attention ! joking aside, been there with this and it's horrible, screening of some sort to start with but do look at the diy panels and posts using post crete to set the posts, dries really fast.
the problem with nosy neighbours the kids will find gaps to look through, and screens could be 'accidently' damaged.
they sound a bit dim and i would be wary as a result.

Gratedcheeseontop Thu 21-May-20 12:09:18

Thanks all for the suggestions!

coffeandcake30 I know!! I was sat there gobsmacked like “what did she just suggest?!”

I have actually tried the screening rolls, bamboo/reed etc, but because the fence is so low and the screening was 6ft it just flapped around and looked awful blush

I think I might have to get DH to put a fence up, I’m so worried though that when that does happen and the fence is down, the hell hounds will run into my garden and fulfil their blatant wishes of nipping me!

I might look into really tall, bushy bushes for the time being I think. My last resort is a flipping gazebo, I’m getting desperate!

tiredanddangerous Thu 21-May-20 12:37:01

Leylandii are the answer op.

TorkTorkBam Thu 21-May-20 12:40:18

You could attach 6ft stakes to the existing short fence posts then attach the screening to the new tall stakes.

I have done this before very successfully and cheaply.

squashyhat Thu 21-May-20 12:41:21

Please don't plant leylandii. What a stupid suggestion.

tiredanddangerous Thu 21-May-20 12:44:37

Why @squashyhat? We had leylandii in a previous house. It was great for stopping the neighbours kids spying through the holes in their fence.

Oh and are you normally so rude to random people on the internet?

GreyGardens88 Thu 21-May-20 12:45:54

This has put me off viewing houses that are otherwise perfect, a 3 foot fence or sometimes no boundary at all between gardens shock

I couldn't be bothered with the hassle or awkwardness in putting one up. Note to all sellers!!

EL8888 Thu 21-May-20 12:46:34

YANBU they sound like the neighbours from hell. The watching thing is super odd. Don’t they have their own life and / or a TV?

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz Thu 21-May-20 12:52:53

What about a long planter in front of the short fence, with a tall lattice fitted onto it? Can then fill it with climbers.

RatherBeRiding Thu 21-May-20 12:53:25

I agree with GreyGardens - haven't bothered viewing houses with low garden boundaries. My current garden has a 6ft fence and complete privacy. The one I am waiting to move to also has complete privacy with high boundaries on all sides. It was a selling point!!

NK1cf53daaX127805d4fd5 Thu 21-May-20 12:54:25

That sounds awful. I'd hate it

YouJustDoYou Thu 21-May-20 12:57:35

If you can stretch to potted bamboo it's a fast grower and can trellised over fencing. My mum got some as she was having a similar problem and as long as it's dense enough it creates a nice screen.

Our next door neighbours also do this. Genuinely nice people but their children are inside for most of the day and they hang out the top window just watching everything we do, and they're high enough up there's no conceivable way to block them out.

Enchantmentz Thu 21-May-20 12:59:22

Sounds like a nightmare op, leylandi is an effective and quick grower but I regard them as evil ugly things. You would need to maintain them to stop them growing too tall too quick., also they give you horrid rashes if you don't protect your skin.

You can buy free standing trellis which you can place in front of the puny fence and put your screen on that as a temporary measure? Or as a pposter said attach posts to fence if yours/shared and then screening, this can also be achieved with trellis.

Atalune Thu 21-May-20 23:06:03

You need proper fence posts for the screening to attach to. Use 6ft posts and then cable ties to attaché at top middle and bottom. No flapping will occur!!

LolaDarkdestroyer Fri 22-May-20 09:01:34

Do they own their house? Are they both rented? It's annoying but kids are like that...the mum sounds a dick though if it was my kids I'd make a point of saying come on away from the fence you nosey cunt...but obviously she is a bit simple.

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